Tetu Keseh Keseangan Aa Doctor
21. Endra's Regret

I'm afraid baper, is what Gista wants to say to make him understand that it's not just about being sick. It wasn't just about Gista being afraid to trouble him or make him feel trouble.

If Gista gets addicted, Gista himself will be in trouble.

Gista fear.

Afraid of depending, afraid that he might like it later when it's over and he's really tired, Gista was no longer willing to part ways while she had things about her life that Gista was not there for.

But ....

"Thank you."

Man ... is selfish, huh?

Though scared but instead of being released even remain grasped. Though afraid if he will fall in love, but Gista instead pretends not to know, still accept the goodness of opium.

*

Endra dropped to his bedroom floor last night making sure Gista took all her medication and vitamins. Also, Endra was still secretly giving her sleeping pills.

It's not good to rely on sleeping pills, but Endra is worried that he's spending the night weeping over his illness.

Signs of sincerity on Gista's face do not yet exist. The look on his face still showed he was tired and fed up with his condition.

Endra could not leave him alone in that condition. Not if he keeps feeling something will haunt him if it leaves him.

"Nisa doesn't want to be alone, A."

The memories infiltrate again, forcing Endra to imagine her little girl figure again.

It was a memory when Endra wanted to leave the village, go to the city to continue his education, but his sister did not want to be left behind.

Nisa did not want to because both of their parents were no longer there. He and Endra are alone.

"You said Aa wanted to go to school, Nis. You if you are afraid of malemnya nginep with Yura, later in the afternoon here again take care of the house," said Endra at that time, tired of his sister's behavior.

Back then, Endra was not yet as mature as he was now who could care about people's feelings. Endra was thinking about his own life.

"Old step, A. Nisa doesn't want to," whined Endra's sister full of requests.

"Nis, understand dong, Dek. Aa must go to college. You are also busy, a real school, let Aa take her to Jakarta."

Endra used to think her sister sucks when she cried. For Endra, he didn't understand at all that someone couldn't exist forever.

But now Endra smiled wryly. Thinking that, if he hadn't left his little girl's cry, he might still be here.

Not go and leave the guilt mounting on Endra.

Now all he does is wander around this house, watching every corner secretly storing Nisa's memories, pretending she's healed.

That's why Endra can't leave Gista.

Don't be mentally ill. That's excruciatingly torturous.

It is better that he be happy, either way he can be happy.

"Oi, Bujang." From the door, Zaka rebuked Endra from his position sleeping on the floor.

Understand him, because Endra is actually the least heat resistant. So Endra lay on the floor to cool off.

"You don't eat first? That July made me eat."

"Not a laper."

Zaka folded his hands. "Why? Same thought?"

"Not misunderstand me."

"Misunderstand what? I'm just saying mind."

Endra grunting. But not to argue either.

"How is that? You didn't take him to the doctor for a clearer check?"

"People don't want to, Kang. Hopeless with the doctor. I think he needs healing first. So yeah, let's just calm down."

"How's yura?"

Endra only muttered faintly, not answering because he did not know.

After all, A Zaka should also know that Endra did not like Yura.

*

*