THE ABANDONED WIFE
WE WANT TO BERDO'A

Hanna Pov's.

My eyes were around every corner of the room..

Sepi, that's how I feel.

It's like this, but now

his taste is so different.

Like there was something missing in my life,

Empty, roughly like that his taste.

I breathed my rough breath before at the end walking to lead Fatimah who was still faithfully holding my hand.

I just got home at the hospital, but my mind asked me again about Alvin's condition.

The pain spread in the heart, when remembering the incident one day before the accident Alvin mas, at that time I even had the heart to expel him.

"Don't look your face in front of me again, if you don't want me to hate you!"Those are the words I say not, but why my heart breaks when I remember them .

I smiled fragilely, trying to relieve the pain in my heart.

"Mother rest,!"The words of Fatimah have succeeded in dissolving my daydream .

I looked at Fatimah who was currently lying on her bed for a moment ,

oh ...I just realized I was in my daughter's room right now ..

I smiled grievously, if only Alvin wouldn't wake up again, I would have been the most regretful person in the world.I really have wasted his struggles .

Not to mention Fatimah, where would you be if one day I watched Fatimah cry over her father's departure, it would be very painful

This clear thread drips back, yes..

I was crying, when I remembered my own words to her .

I'm evil, like that, right?

I don't even know why I could be this cruel.

A gentle touch landed on my cheek, the tiny hand trying to wipe away the tears that had flowed as if trying to calm my erratic feelings.

Again I was unaware of my daughter's whereabouts .

"Don't cry anymore" The little lips muttered with a smile.

I returned that smile while taking off Fatimah's tiny hand on my cheek.

"Mother is just a flick" I replied accordingly,

this time I rubbed the bottom of my eyes.

"Will we pray a lot, father no longer need to cry anymore" his timpal regardless of my words, yes.I know Fatimah must be aware of my charade.

"Mother, rest"

he sounds like he's repeating those words.

like the undead I walked away Fatimah without a word.

right now I'm no different from a useless mother at all.

Every now and then I take a breath, no matter how many times I tried to disappear the memories of Alvin but the results were completely useless, the shadow still haunts my mind.

I had the lyrics of the wall clock that was plastered in my room , it was eleven o'clock but I still could not close my eyes .

I walked out of my room , tonight I decided to sleep with Fatimah in the hope that I could sleep well there .

However, my steps seketia stopped when I heard the sobs of someone in her room .

I was silent for a moment before I opened the door very slowly .

I peeked at what he was doing in the room and at that moment my tears rolled back to see what I was watching ..

He hugged his knees with a cry held in his mouth ..

What mother would watch a child in such circumstances.

tok.tokm..

it has become my habit.

Knocking on the door and asking for permission before entering the room, I also applied it as one example of decency .

"Son, is she asleep?

Mommy wants to sleep with you, how come?"

I said half a scream behind her bedroom door.

I entered after Fatiamah gave me permission .

I saw that she was lying down, apparently my little girl had hidden her grief on me .

"Sleep baby, tomorrow you have to go to school" I said after landing a kiss on Fatimah's cheek.

****

I woke up when the voice of Adzan greeted my eardrum.

Fatimah was still asleep, I slowly shook her tiny body very carefully.

"Darling, subuhan yuk."I whispered right in her ear .

The tiny body squirms, the eyes open slowly but then the eyes are closed again, like my little girl in a very sleepy.

"Friday is the best time to pray"

I'm still trying to seduce him.

Sure enough those big eyes widened, his head shook .His appearance he was trying to avoid his eyes to be closed back.

My smile widened when she saw her spirit down the bed, she took her towel and then came out of the room to the bathroom.

so did I, I imitated what Fatimah had done.

I bowed down, looking intently at the ruler of the universe with tears .

expressing the grievance of my way of life as if God really was listening to my story.

There is no perfect person in this world, is there not..?

No matter how much good there is in them, but still

sometimes they make mistakes.

Whether the mistake was intentional or not.

As long as we realize, regret and repent to the God of the universe, I believe our lives will be fine.

I have done wrong, but at least I have apologized for my mistake, and another one that I believe in, God will not refuse his servant's merciful plea .

***

Fatimah had been cool to eat fried rice that some time I made with a red and white uniform that was neat in her wear.

her eyes were swollen, but her mood now looked like it had improved.

The eye that had always been so moist was also now dry, as if the tears in it had now dried up.

A bribe of rice was so difficult to swallow.

I looked at the chair currently occupied by Fatimah.

The pain greeted me again remembering a few days ago mas Alvin sat in that chair eating very greedily .

"Be quick to heal, if I'm blessed for a long life, I promise to cook again for you"

That clear thread slid back in my eyes .

It means I'm not that strong to hold the weight in my heart..

Immediately I wiped my tears when I saw Fatimah who had been watching me .

****

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