The actor? Who's Afraid!
Not Dreams

"You can fall, if you keep retreating."

I who was aware of my position had come to the edge of stopping my activities. Not with Zain, he was getting closer.

"STOP!" My orders, but Zain ignored them. As he got closer, I closed my eyes as his hand stretched out to pull the blanket I was wearing.

"You think you're the only one who needs a blanket?"

My eyes opened slowly. Now I can breathe normally, before this lung seemed to forget how to store oxygen. After taking the blanket away from me, Zain moved away, but did not return to his place on the right side, but laid himself right in the middle of the bed.

I kept silent to see him in distress wearing a blanket to cover his body with one hand. In the end, I couldn't. I approached and helped him.

"We can sleep under the same blanket."

Since the morning, Zain's words always managed to make me freeze. His eyes told me to sleep by his side.

"I'm not going to do anything weird. Undressing myself was hard, there was no way I would take your shirt off," he muttered, a smile like never leaving that face.

I crossed my hands in front of my chest after hearing her words. Zain seemed to have a real concussion. Now his outstretched hand grabbed the edge of my shirt, pulling it like a child.

I, who was uncomfortable with it, used my hand to shake his hand. But this hand was successfully held, without hesitation Zain pulled towards him. I fell right over the chest, which made him grimace holding my weight. Realizing that, I immediately moved, but with a swift hand back at him.

"I just want to be close to you. Sleep next to me. I'll guarantee your safety tonight."

I felt the tall fortress I had built these few days begin to collapse with a racing heartbeat as if running a marathon. My heart would be completely insecure if Zain continued to act like this.

Our eyes met when I decided to look down. The brown bead seemed to contain a spell that made my body follow its wishes.

"Looks, your fun works."

I just laid my head next to him in doubt. Zain added another doubt in my mind.

"meaning?"

"I don't know what I'm going through, I always want to be around you. At first I was angry as you kept trying to get close to me, but after these few days you stayed away from me, I felt even more angry."

Zain tilted his body to face me, being stared at so that it made me misbehavior that I pointed this eye at the ceiling of the room.

"You really used me!"

"I'm not doing what you're accusing me of, Mom!" I looked back at him to deny the accusations, but ended up with an increasingly uncontrollable heart upon seeing his gaze.

I tried to neutralize the nervousness by turning away, but her hand held my face even gently pulled her back to face her.

"You always sleep with the hijab?"

"I ...." My voice choked, when Zain's hand I felt was fixing a child's hair peeking behind the hijab.

Having decided to go headscarf since High School, I have never put my hair in front of any man. Even in front of my husband Zain-. It felt so awkward, considering that Zain had not been able to accept me as his wife. Perhaps his heart was still filled with memories of the past.

"In this house, there are still other empty rooms, right?" I asked after keeping his hands away from my face.

"I'm not gonna let you get out of here." Zain seemed to know I would avoid him. Now his left hand is stretched over my belly to the waist.

"Let me sleep like this" he said again after closing his face between the recesses of my neck.

"I never acted. I did it because I wanted to. As your husband, don't I deserve something like this?"

I took in as much air as I could to fill my lungs. What did Zain mean just now? If he is discussing the 'right' package that accompanies him is kewa .. aish. Far away dirty brains!

"Why don't you tell your heart to calm down, how can I sleep if your heart is so stormy?"

"I can't do anything about it, my heart's a storm because she wants to be like that."

"It turns out you're a vindictive!" A little laugh he listened to.

"I still miss you when I hug you. I really have a use." Zain further tightened the embrace, making it even harder to breathe.

"I didn't do anything to you, Mom. I never thought that way."

"Since seeing you for the first time, you've filled my mind. I can't focus on working, your smile is always present in my eyes, and I'm so bothered by that. Would I believe it if I wasn't you using?"

The strange waves that ran through every stream of my blood mixed with worry that stirred up my feelings for a moment. Zain is confessing his feelings or ....

"Why not continue with Mas Zain's desire to stop this marriage, if Mas Zain hates me so much."

"I never said I hated you. I just feel disturbed because of you. At first, I did want to make you hate me, so that you yourself feel tired and end this marriage. But every time I see you cry, I feel like protecting you."

"I thought, Mas Zain, confessing feelings to me, was just pitying me?"

Now Zain raised his head a few inches higher than mine. He looked at me with a look I could not confirm.

"Do I feel like I'm talking about my feelings?"

I nodded in response to his question. But Zain seemed to be thinking. Maybe he will soon regret his words.

"You trying to have this marriage, like everyone else?"

Almost this heart jumped out of place because it was so shocked.

"That's the question what's the statement?" I was expecting an explanation.

"Both" he answered briefly. I immediately pinched his waist to make sure I was not sleeping and was dreaming. From the scream that came out of Zain's mouth, I could make sure I was still awake.

"Why pinch me? It could endanger both of us." His words managed to make me frown.

"I'm just making sure it's not a dream."

"Are you sure this isn't a dream?"

Suddenly I felt a strange gurgle after that question, don't tell Zain just to prank me.

"I have another way of making sure this is more beautiful than a dream" he whispered, though the air exhaled from his mouth did not directly hit my ears. But it has managed to wake up all the fine hairs around the nape.

After Zain raised his face back, I did not immediately answer his statement. Our eyes were busy staring at each other. He rubbed my lips with his thumb to erase the traces of his lips.

"Can I ask for my rights as a husband tonight? You should take responsibility for waking up my male side," he muttered so softly, making me swallow the saliva instantly.