The actor? Who's Afraid!
Wants to be Loved

"Why am I responsible? Mas Zain, who started first." I do not accept, today I avoid more, it is Zain who provoked a commotion throughout the day.

"Today, I started first. But long before, it was you who had teased me."

"When?" I'm interrupting. I don't think I did what Zain accused me of.

"Stare at me silently, purposely crying in order to be hugged by me, likes to suddenly appear in my room after I take a bath. What is it, if not teasing me?"

"Ah, again. Love fishing my brain to travel with your words."

"Never!" I denied, and also blushed in shame at the same time. Of all the things Zain mentioned, not all of them are true. Sometimes supported by accident.

"My goal is not to tease you, but ...."

"What?" Zain can't wait for my word to hang. His eyes never left my face.

"I .. I can't breathe, Mas. Please stay away a little, my chest is like it's about to explode."

"Sir, would. If you're out of breath, I can give you an artificial breath!"

I blinked a few times, Zain really said.

"I'm serious, Mom!"

"I'm serious too, honey."

"Don't say that word again. Yesterday, your food fell, also said dear!" my protest won't take.

"Different concepts, that's."

"Same, said dear as well." I'm muddled with my opinion. I showed a pissed face afterwards.

"From tomorrow, call baby just for you. If my food falls, I'll let it go. Let you not be jealous," he rubbed, along with his mischievous finger rubbing my lips. It causes a long short-circuit.

"Mubazir dong, if so?" I'm back to thinking.

"So far, how do you want it? Anything is always wrong in the eyes of women!" In fact, the finger is now getting more and more outrageous. Pinched this cheek, does Zain think I'm not in pain?

"I want to, Mas Zain explained why it was suddenly like this!"

"What'sthis? Why change the subject?" Zain looked at me with anxiety. The thumb and the other four fingers were pressed between my right and left cheeks, making my lips conical automatically. Then, one more kiss landed there.

Being treated like this, I was silent. Not replying nor refusing. I just pushed Zain's body, as I felt the air stock in his lungs were running out.

"Mas, we're bound by an agreement not to skinship?"

"Which deal?" Zain pretended to remember. I covered my mouth with my hands, as Zain lowered his head again.

"I forgot where to put it. Obviously, the deal doesn't work anymore."

Because I can't reach my lips. The kiss landed on the forehead, stopping for up to five seconds, at that spot. Then it came down on the eyelids that I had to close. From the left side and then the right.

"What happens if I don't accept the deal and choose prison?" A moment after Zain took his face away from me, I asked again. Tilting my body to face each other with Zain.

"That's just a bluff, I'm not really going to put you in jail. But, if at that time you chose to give up on me, maybe now I'll regret losing you."

"Mass?" call me.

"Hm."

"I'm moved. Can I cry?"

I heard a light laugh in my ear. Zain did not answer, but his hand held me gently. Patting my shoulders slowly. That means, she let me cry in her arms.

"Sorry," I said.

"For what?" the answer was to hear me say.

"Because I thought I'd leave you, someday." My voice trembled, I sobbed until I shook my shoulder.

Zain was getting a hug. I did the same thing until a few minutes passed without anyone talking. I tried to dive into the feelings of Zain, who had experienced destruction after he was abandoned by a loved one.

"If I choose to stay, will Mas Zain accept me and love me?"

"Is my attitude not enough to prove, I really want you?"

"Mas!" This time I took a hug. I pushed his body to create some space between us.

"Love by wanting it is different. I want to be loved not just wanted." I bit the tip of the lower lip, trying to find the right vocabulary to explain the difference loved and desired.

"Same, come on, De!"

I scrunched my forehead. Zain changed the previous call 'honey' to 'de'. The previous 'honey' discussion was also not widespread, now using other calls.

"My call, replaced again?"

"You call me 'gold', so I'll call you 'de'. He said he didn't want the food to fall."

I nodded, agreeing with Zain's opinion. Whatever Zain will call me. The most important thing for me right now, is not about nicknames.

"Mas, want it, just want to have a body. But love, done with all feelings." I went back to explaining the two sentences that I thought were different meanings.

"I want to be loved, not just wanted." I repeated my previous statement.

"De, I want you, because I love you!"

This blood rippled back. Suddenly the air around was hot. I stretched out five fingers to fan the area of my face that was indeed hotter than the others.

"My wife looks adorable, if she blushes." Zain grabbed my chin to closely examine his wife's blushed face. I who was so embarrassed, immediately buried my head in the chest of his field.

"So how?" ask Zain.

"What?"

"My rights?"

"Can I get you tonight?"

My euphoria suddenly collapsed when Zain again asked for his rights, not that I would not do my duty, but ....

"Can't!" I refuse firmly.

"Angels will accuse a wife of ignoring her husband's wishes until morning." Zain's voice, sounds different. He is holding back anger.

"But God will be angry if I take you tonight."

"Why is God angry? We're not Zina's partner, and I'm just asking for my rights. Haven't you been able to accept me, so you're reluctant to do the duty?"

"Another week!" I said after doing the duty to temper his anger by giving a kiss on his cheek.

I immediately covered my face with both hands. It feels so shameful to do that for the first time.

"Why should I wait another week?" Decreased intonation. Maybe Zain, not as angry as before, after I took the initiative to kiss him first.

"I'm an impediment" I said without opening the fingers attached to the face, although Zain insisted on doing so.

"No need to lie to me, we also prayed together. I'll do it slowly, if the reason you're afraid of pain!"

"I'm not lying! We congregate during Maghrib prayer, not for Islamic prayer. Mas Zain also went to the mosque just with papa, right?" I opened my hands to see his disappointed expression.

"Lied, right? You pray at home, right?" his whining makes me feel guilty. Despite this, my answer still shook my head.

"De, I can't wait another week. That's too long." Zain ruffled his hair, he looked so frustrated.

Sorry ....