The Light of Love Pesantren
Maybe We're Not Mates

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Maple leaves fall in the autumn wind in January, the streets began to look lonely because people prefer in their homes rather than facing the cold that increasingly feels piercing the skin along with the sinking of the sun on the western horizon

A girl enjoying the sunset view that looks so beautiful in autumn, a cup of hot chocolate at the table can reduce the cold that feels more piercing

Nazwa looked at the deserted streets of Oxford with a mind wandering far away

Cclek

A woman with a distended stomach entered, making Nazwa turn his gaze to the person

"This time you can't run anymore" said the woman who sat near Nazwa

"Hm, I've left all my decisions to my father, I'm sure the parents know what's best for their son"

"Are you sure? Whatever it?" Ask the woman

"I'm sure Bianca, don't shake my decision again, I'm afraid, I'm afraid if I choose there will be one who gets hurt"

The woman is Bianca, she is married to a Moroccan who works as a teacher at one of the schools that happened to be close to the hospital where Nazwa and Bianca koas, who is a school teacher, the beginning of their meeting when Bianca one bus with Ahmad on a trip that coincidentally unidirectional, indeed love does not choose to whose heart he will be adrift even in unexpected places

"Then by telling your father are you sure they won't hurt?"

"The pain must have been Bianca but at least if my father had spoken to them God willing could understand" Nazwa took a deep breath and spoke again

"let them think I'm a coward of Bianca, I know I'm a timid girl who doesn't dare to make her own decisions"

"That's what happens in Nazwa's love, if you love you have to be ready to be hurt, that's your lack you're too concerned with other people's feelings, until you don't hear your own heart" said Bianca advising her best friend with a slightly raised voice

"I know Bianca, if love is to be prepared to be hurt, so I don't fully love someone before he is truly my priest"

"The heart can't choose who it will conquer, if I say love it but my soul mate isn't her isn't that painful?" nazwa

"Love can grow over time, if I'm married to someone doesn't that mean I have to accept her and love her? Because it is my priest who will guide me" Nazwa said with a deep breath

"Learning to love someone for me is easier than forgetting someone we once loved wholeheartedly but not fooled" for some reason when saying that was beset by an indescribable pain in his heart

"Hahhhh, your life is so complicated Nazwa, it's even more complicated than a stubborn patient" Bianca said, making Nazwa shake his head

"Someone has his own way of life, this is my life then this is what I'm going to live"

"Are you and Ahmad going back to Morocco ?" Tanya Nazwa shifted the conversation

"I'll go and be a general practitioner there, wherever he goes I'll go with him"

"I was curious when the distance between Morocco and England is far and far from the continent, why did he get here? And I find it strange to your husband that he lives in Morocco but chose a school in Al-Azhar and now teaches here instead, I think your husband is an explorer" Nazwa said, causing Bianca to turn her back on him

"This is how Nazwa's life journey, following the heart where the foot will step with confidence to get to the destination, maybe this is destiny until we can be met. As far as it is if it is a match God has many ways to bring it together"

Hearing Bianca's words, Nazwa recalled Gus Fatih, who often spoke the sentence to her

"Oh yeah, last night Ahmad told me he had a friend from Indonesia, but different majors it's just that they live close together"

"Truely then take him to Indonesia, so that we can also meet"

"Don't forget your wedding invitations"

"Hmmm" Nazwa replied with deheman as to why his heart felt something else when Bianca said that

When he got to the door of the plane, he stopped making the officer astonished. Nazwa looked at the 278 xx plane that would take him back to his country, but somehow his feelings were agitated and became unsettled, he held his chest that felt increasingly tight and strengthened the grip on the prayer beads in his hand

"astagfirulloh, what's wrong with me?" the question is confusion

"Are you okay?" the clap on his shoulder made Nazwa tiptoed in shock then nodded and smiled

"Yes" Nazwa replied with a smile to the middle-aged woman

The woman nodded and walked up to the stairs, Nazwa who saw her also came up because soon the plane will leave

"Astagfirullohaladzim, Nazwa get rid of your bad thoughts" he said shaking his head slowly and starting to drag the suitcase into the plane ready to fly

"Bismilahbornrohmanirrohim, if this best strengthens my heart O Allah"

The 278 Xxx started flying, Nazwa looked at the window of the plane and soon it was leaving the UK. Nazwa took a deep breath and leaned his body on the plane seat.

"Assalamu'alaikum Nazwa" said his father across the street

"Wa'alaikumussalam Father"

"Dad has made a choice that you think is good for you" said his father made Nazwa sculpt, he can not avoid again now is the time he must be brave, he had to be brave, he told his father to choose for him because he believed the choice of parents was always the best for his daughter so he had to accept whatever his father answered

"Who's dad?" nazwa asked with a slightly trembling voice

"Gus Rayhan"

There was no feeling of clear liquid dripping from his eye patch, not not wanting or hating his father's decision but his heart seemed to refuse because it was contrary to his true desire

"i will learn to forget and learn to love" he said slowly

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The sky looked dark covered in cloudy clouds, the specks of rain began to fall soaking the earth, the sky as if supporting the mood of the man standing in front of the window, the, he only watched the drizzle more and more until there was a big rain

"Is this the best, O God?" his question while holding his chest and not feeling a clear circle began to fall at the end of his eyes

"Am I not meant to be with him?"

"I pray and love him sincerely, are we not meant to be together?" ask her to yourself while holding the bracelet Nazwa gave her

"Am I not supposed to be selfish for just this once?"

"Did they not believe me because it was still considered unstable? immature?"

"Do they not realize that maturity is not seen from age alone"

"Hiks... Nazwa" His tears came out but his mouth was locked tightly not roaring let out a sound of crying, he was just silent, crying silently unable to see his loved ones along with his own brother

Not everyone is strong, not everyone is able to face things like himself, he knows he realized from the beginning if he has dared to know love means must be ready to be hurt, he said, but he did not expect it to feel this sick

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Sorry friends, the new author was up because of a lot of busyness and health problems especially the weather is now again erratic, hopefully healthy friends always yes and always in the protection of God...

Sorry if you guys feel the flow is too fast or do not connect...🙏🙏🙏🙏

Thank you to the friends who are still faithfully waiting for the author's story, the author is very touched...🤗😭