The Little Consort's
Eps. 19: Jokes

A different situation precisely appeared in Xingyue Palace. If in Taiji Palace Long Ji Man was in conflict with the palace officials, here, in this Xingyue Palace, Li Anlan was actually having fun. He made a big joke to comfort his own caged self.

Li Anlan dressed his two auxiliary eunuchs in thick makeup. The two powerless young eunuchs were exactly like clowns at the little boy's birthday show. Their noses are polished with a little bit of sinabar powder forming a circle, until it looks like a red tomato nose. The cheeks of the two eunuchs were polished with a cheek milking moistened with water until the color was more concentrated. For the eyes, Li Anlan stained it with charcoal and lip-brushing powder. No eyeshadow, charcoal and lipstick.

Not only dressed them, Li Anlan also had the two eunuchs wear loose maid clothes. Their little bodies look like scarecrows. If they were told to remain silent in the forest, even wild animals would not dare to eat them. The two eunuchs were not only clowns, but also ugly ghosts. Li Anlan's work this time left Xie Roulan speechless. Xie Roulan could only pity the unlucky fate of the two eunuchs, who became apes in Li Anlan's hands.

Li Anlan also told the eunuch clown to dance. The dance that the two eunuchs had to perform was the Oppa Gangnam Style movement. That strange move should be done by his two eunuchs with a smile. As a result, his movements felt like a robot, very stiff not soft at all. The two eunuchs danced awkwardly, occasionally irregularly due to forgetting his movements.

The situation maker just relaxes. Li Anlan swung over the hammock, wearing her sunglasses while enjoying the gentle breeze caressing her body. His hand was holding a plastic corn snack that happened to be still intact. That snack was the last stock of her modern snacks. Beside him, Xie Roulan was sitting watching the unlucky fate of the two clown eunuchs who were dancing.

“Do not stop!” admonish Li Anlan as the two eunuchs fell silent for a while.

“Mistress, we are very tired,” said one of them.

“I don't want to know. Quickly dance again!”

The two eunuchs were forced to return to dancing. Their tongues are often mistaken when reciting the lyrics of Oppa Gangnam Style songs. Li Anlan smiled with satisfaction. Under his sunglasses, he closed his eyes, pretending to sleep.

“Mistress, they have been dancing for a long time,” said Xie Roulan in a sad tone.

“You worried?”

Xie Roulan nodded innocently.

“Then you replaced them.”

Xie Roulan's face pouted.

“Mrs..”.

Hearing Xie Roulan's pensive tone, Li Anlan rose from his casual position. He stared at his servant. His forehead was wrinkled and his face was slightly irritated. The servant girl interrupted his pleasure. Let the two eunuchs please him today.

“How long have they danced?” ask Li Anlan.

“If according to your calculation, it might have been two and a half hours.”

“What?”

It was truly unexpected that his two eunuchs had danced that long. Li Anlan was too happy to forget the deadline. It was fortunate that the bodies of the two eunuchs were slightly strong. Otherwise, Li Anlan might have to spend money to finance the treatment of those who had fainted from exhaustion. No, Li Anlan did not want to lose anymore.

“Enough, you can rest.”

The two eunuchs were no longer able to speak. His voice was used to sing the song. Their bodies were too tired to put out so much energy to perform the strange dance they had just seen for the first time. The two eunuchs took a sweat bath. The makeup on her face faded a little. Not caring for those who were exhausted and in need of water, Li Anlan relaxed again. The woman swung back on the hammock.

Meanwhile, at Hongwu Palace, Long Ji Man put on an unsightly annoyed face. His thick eyebrows fused together to form two arches. His lips were slightly forward and his eyes lit up sharply. If any woman saw his ugly face, Long Ji Man would probably lose the title of Handsome King he had held for four years. In fact, an ant will run away in fear to see his face.

“Your Majesty is still angry?”

Xiao Biqi poured freshly brewed warm tea. The young eunuch already knew the character of his king who would not improve quickly when angry and upset. The incident in Taiji hall earlier must still have left resentment and anger in his heart. He was confident that Long Ji Man would not let go of the officials who had offended him and dared to interfere in the personal affairs of his family.

In the past, Xiao Biqi had witnessed a similar incident in the Taiji hall. A palace official under the Ministry of Defense asked the same thing on the orders of the Minister of Defense who happened to be unable to attend. At that time, Long Ji Man's mood was bad because Empress Dowager Han Yuemei added another new concubine for him.

Without thinking twice, Long Ji Man instantly executed the official by firing him and driving him away from the capital. Long Ji Man also demoted the post of Minister of Defense to Assistant Minister. He was removed from the ministerial post and cut his salary that month by half.

That is the reward of offending a king when his mood is not good.

The incident was fortunately not as severe as it used to be, because the Grand Prince happened to be present in the trial. Indirectly, the Grand Prince has saved the life and future of the Minister of Rites and his family.

“I will cut the salary of the Minister of Rites and ban all his daughters from entering the palace!”

Never mind. Xiao Biqi might have expected too much. He never really knew the heart and mind of his king. In the years of serving Long Ji Man, Xiao Biqi had never been able to understand his thoughts. Indeed, understanding human thought is more difficult than understanding the lessons in a book.

“Your Majesty, how about you take a walk?”

Long Ji Man ignored Xiao Biqi's question containing the suggestion. He stared at Li Anlan's phone located in the corner of the table. During these few days, strange sounds at certain times of the thing did not appear. In fact, the moment Long Ji Man touched its surface, the normally blinding light also vanished.

Without saying much, the man stood up. His slightly tangled clothes he trimmed. Then, he walked out of Hongwu Palace. Xiao Biqi followed him from behind while asking where his king was headed this time. But, Long Ji Man again ignored him.

His wide strides led Long Ji Man towards Xingyue Palace subconsciously. Upon arriving in front of the palace gate, Long Ji Man fell silent. He asked himself, why did he walk here? Didn't he intend to go to Houchi Lake park? Long Ji Man turned around about to leave again. But, Xiao Biqi suddenly prevented him.

“Your Majesty, why not just log in?”

Long Ji Man saw two eunuchs wearing female servant clothes sitting while fanning the body with their hands. Their entire bodies were soaked in sweat. Meanwhile, a woman appeared to be lying on the swing comfortably. Another woman sits down.

“Concubine An turned out to be so relaxed apparently.”

Li Anlan was shocked. He hurriedly got up to make sure the owner of the authoritative heavy voice. Li Anlan's sunglasses reflex removable. Xie Roulan and the two clown eunuchs lowered their faces, not daring to look at the face of his king.

“Long Ji Man?”

Aware of his mistake, Li Anlan immediately corrected his question.

“Y-Your Majesty?”

Long Ji Man ignored Li Anlan's question. He turned to look at the two eunuch-clothed maids who were looking down in front of him.

“Thank you guys head!”

The two eunuchs ventured to raise their heads. Looking at the faces of those eunuchs, Long Ji Man was slightly surprised. The faces of the two eunuchs were really ugly, uglier than his faces when angry and upset.

“You did this?”

Li Anlan widened her smile, revealing her neatly lined rows of white teeth. Long Ji Man sighed. This wasted concubine why always act? Does he have no other job but to prank people?

“Why doesn't this thing make a sound?”

Long Ji Man took out a mobile phone from within the slit of his robe. Seeing that his phone was in Long Ji Man's hands, Li Anlan immediately seized it. The woman then flipped through her phone, worried that Long Ji Man might damage it.

“So you stole it?”

Looks like, ‘thief’ word is too frontal. Long Ji Man looked at Li Anlan sharply as if he wanted to eat her alive.

“Not a thief, no. His Majesty just borrowed it without permission,” Li Anlan corrected his sentence.

“Why doesn't that thing sound anymore?”

Oh, he asked for an alarm sound, Li Anlan's inner voice.

“The battery runs out.”

“Battery?”

Damn it, Li Anlan was not wanting to talk much with the man. He would rather not explain to her what a battery is and what it does and what to do if it runs out. Li Anlan thought, the explanation of such a modern object, would be explained in any detail still would not be understood by Long Ji Man.

“Your Majesty, how about you swing here?”

Li Anlan pointed at his hammock. Long Ji Man was hesitant, but his curiosity at the strange swing was higher. At Li Anlan's direction, Long Ji Man climbed a hammock, then sat his ass there. Slowly, Li Anlan pushed the hammock containing Long Ji Man to swing.

“Pregnant right?”

“Emm.”

It wasn't Li Anlan's name if he couldn't act. The grudge of losing his phone for days has not been avenged. After waiting for Long Ji Man to let his guard down, Li Anlan pushed the hammock with all his might until the swing was firmer. Long Ji Man was suffocated in shock. His body seemed to be hovering uncharacteristically. He shouted, but Li Anlan deliberately ignored his hearing.

Brug…

Long Ji Man's body landed on the grass of Xingyue Palace's courtyard. Xiao Biqi was shocked as well as holding back a laugh. The two eunuchs in front of him lowered their heads deeper and deeper, acting as if they did not see or hear anything.

“Li Anlan! How dare you?”

As he woke up, he saw Li Anlan was no longer behind him.

“Your Honor, I forgot that I had to charge my phone. I won't apologize to you!”

Li Anlan shouted while running away. Xie Roulan followed after him. Not long after, his body disappeared behind the main door of the Xingyue Palace building, leaving the dark-faced and terrifying Long Ji Man.

For some reason, the atmosphere in Xingyue Palace turned extreme like it was about to be buffeted by a storm.

...***...