THE OWNER OF THE HEART ROOM
7. Crying in the morning
Nawang leaned over his face on the table, hiding his face that was flooded with tears.
His chest tightened withstanding the anger that was controlling his heart at this moment.
He was tired of his life again.
Real tired.
He let the tears rule him to relieve the pain and anger that prevails at this time.
He believes later he can still relieve the pain that has often felt this.
Her tears flowed again as she remembered her husband's words this morning, before they were each about to leave for work.
The flashback
**************
"Do you have any savings, ma'am?" asked her husband, after returning home to deliver the stars, their son to school.
"Nothing" answered Nawang flatly as he put down the bowl - filled with green mustard vegetables that he had just moved from the frying pan - on the dining table.
His heart was already rippling with pain and feeling hot with that question.
She had already memorized the next sentence her husband would say.
"Your salary runs out every month? Never been nyisa?" ask her husband again in a non-belief tone.
"Yes. After all, make a meal and meet the needs of the house. I even have a debt of five hundred thousand for last month's nambal because of the many donations of babies and mantens." replied Nawang slowly and sharply.
She tried desperately not to let out a high note in front of her husband even though she really wanted to scream even while slamming anything in front of her so that she was relieved and her pent-up anger was channeled.
Talking about money with her husband always makes her heart upset and pain immeasurably.
"The money that I love every month is also not left?" ask her husband again, still in a suspicious tone.
Nawang chose silence not to answer and moved away from her husband.
He chose to rush to get his bag in the room and immediately go ahead to put on his shoes and would immediately run to his workplace.
She also answered questions her husband had asked hundreds of times during their marriage, almost seven years ago.
The answer to that question will remain the same.
The tone of disbelief and the words of her husband will remain the same when it comes to their household money.
Nawang breathed in his stingy breath as he endured the cries and heavy burden on him.
"Your mother went to the hospital yesterday and I had to go home to see her. We also have to pay for the hospital, right?" the voice of her husband was already heard in front of her who was looking down on her shoes.
"Mom's in the hospital? What pain?" ask Nawang in shock.
He was relieved of the heartache that hit him again with news from the mouth of her husband just now.
Her mother-in-law was in the hospital from yesterday and she just found out today.
Even so her husband did not specifically tell her, but her husband told her about her mother's condition because it costs her for her mother, not because she is his wife who has the right and obligation to know about her in-laws.
"Slipped in front of the house. Today, the surgery put a pen on her ankle" replied her husband.
Nawang breathed a little relieved.
At least they do not need to spend millions because Nawang knows all operating costs are borne by his independent BPJS in-laws who every month he is responsible for payment.
"Do you really have no money?" ask her husband again, still not believing.
Nawang just stared at her husband. His eyes began to glaze over with the sadness that was like being given another pile, while his body was hot and trembling withstanding the anger that had been at the end of his tongue.
"Then how do we charge for Mom's operation?" keep Wardani ticking.
Nawang took his breath many times.
Nawang was still as strong as he was not showing his current feelings in front of her husband through his words.
It doesn't feel good this early.
Only her facial expression was read by her husband.
And the man did not like that look of despair.
He thinks it is Nawang's way of escaping his 'accusations' over Nawang's ineptness of arranging the spending money.
Nawang again took a deep breath, hoping the rumbling in his chest could subside a little.
She did not want to get hurt further by the disparaging remarks from her husband's mouth when he was crying at this time.
"But ..we need to look there. Must have provisions also if there, to buy gasoline and give a little grip on Mother." sergeant Wardani still urged.
"I don't have any money, sir. You should still be holding the money. Your hand can make you look at me." replied Nawang without seeing her husband's face.
Wardani.
"Work all this time never had any leftovers made in the tube. So ati-ati if you take out the money." that sentence again he had to hear before he stopped his motor gas.
A speck of tears had escaped from his eye patch when his motorbike had just left the yard.
Flashback off
**************
That sentence always rang in the mind of Nawang.
One sentence that was always able to drop her mentality as a woman.
His heart crumpled every time he heard that word.
As if all this time she was a handyman squandering her husband's money.
As if she is a woman who is not good at managing family finances.
Though all this time every day the contents are brain-twisting how to make money in his hands will be enough until payday next month.
Even for the sake of a full salary every month, sometimes the pain is not felt.
As strong as he continues to go to work so that his salary is not cut.
Throughout their marriage, his salary became the main buffer wheel of the household economy.
Her husband did give her money but only half of the salary of Nawang which is only a number of UMR each year.
Nawang just accept the gift in the hope that the rest of her husband's salary that is not given to her will be their household savings.
But in fact all this time Nawang did not see it.
Every time Nawang asked her where her husband's salary was running, the man simply underestimated the question like he had heard nothing.
And such an attitude of course made Nawang feel unregarded and it again-hurt his heart.
Nawang rushed to wipe his face when he heard that there were employees entering the work area.
He rushed to the bathroom in the corner of his study and washed his face to keep it a little fresh.
He did not care about his eyes that were a bit swollen due to his long crying, after all, would be disguised with the glasses he wore.
"Mbak Nawang has come from earlier?" asked Nayla who had just entered their room.
"Lumayan this morning." replied Nawang while sitting in front of his computer.
"Mbak Nawang has breakfast yet? I bought sego wiwit two. One make Nawang mbak ya." said Nayla while handing over the rice wrapped neatly with dinner paper.
"Thank you, cah ayu" said Nawang happily.
She did not have time to eat breakfast because she preferred to run away from her husband earlier.
He was thankful that God gave him breakfast through Nayla's kindness.
"Yes, ma'am?" ask Nayla in between her chews.
Nawang gave his thumbs a sign of agreement.
"Tomorrow I'll buy again for us. Three thousand of us are full" said Nayla.
"Make you. I don't have to." said Nawang.
" why? I bought it." asked Nayla.
"I usually have breakfast from home" said Nawang.
Part of the money three thousand he can give to the Star for his son's snacks rather than make him own snacks.
"Yes" said Nayla casually.
As they finished their breakfast, the bell without starting to work rang.
Nawang and Nayla rushed to tidy up their food marks because soon it was certain that the production people would take turns to come to ask for helpers material for them to work.
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