The Path of Love Halimah
Episode 33

Three days long I'm staying at the boarding house.

I felt so calm there.

Umi's request for me to stay there got me back to thinking long.

I haven't talked to Mom and Dad because my heart is so confused.

With the night I lay on the bed looking up at the ceiling of the room where there was a little spider's nest.

My eyes are not sleepy at all.

My mind was far away staring into an illusion that was quite far and long.

I fell asleep for a moment.

Imagine how peaceful my heart is when I am in the cottage, sharing stories with santriwati, watching every study given by ustad and ustazah every night sehanis prayer isya and dawn. It all felt so soothing to my heart.

But maybe I could leave Mom and Dad. They had started to age and murmured their hope. I want to always be able to keep them by my side. I don't want to be away from them both. I also could not bear to let Mom make cakes and sell independently in the market.

"Yes ALLAH.." I said complaining long.

My eyes are still not closed.

'Tut.. tut.." a message came in my HP.

I opened it and read it slowly in my heart.

"Assalamualaikum Halima... How are you doing? Yesterday I went back to the village and came back looking for you, but you were not there.. You where? I want to talk to you four eyes.. I want to apologize for my past words that might have hurt your heart.. I got too carried away by emotions, and then I felt so guilty.. Can we meet again? I'm begging.. Call me immediately if you're willing.. I'll be back in the village soon as possible.. Rahman" that's the message I received from Rahman.

I fell silent and went back to reading the message.

"Waalaikumsalam Rahman's... Thank you for the good news.. Hopefully Rahman is always healthy there.. Yesterday, for three days I was not in the village, I went to visit the house of my father-in-law and made a pilgrimage to the death of my husband.. Sorry Man..It's not that I don't have time to meet, it's just that it doesn't seem good if we meet four eyes.. For the words you said back then, it doesn't matter to me.. I fully understand everything, there is not the slightest bit of resentment or hurt for all your words.. Let it all be our time.. I wish you more success and happiness.. Wassalam.." I wrote back the message quite long.

May Rahman not be offended by the reply to the message I sent, I just don't want any more relationship with her given her Mother who hates me so much.

"Astagfirullah.." I said privilegedly while rubbing my face repeatedly.

"YES ALLAH.. It was 01:05 at night.. I must go to bed immediately so as not to oversleep.." I said again in my heart and took a bolster pillow to cover all my face.

I read a sleep prayer, then forced my eyes to shut.

Slowly the drowsiness began to attack me.

'Tut.tut..tut.." My HP sound woke my eyes.

Rahman's name was again clearly emblazoned in the HP incoming message.

But I don't care.

I was no longer able to withstand the drowsiness that had attacked.

I let the message go without opening it at all.

I don't care much about the contents.

For me, between Me and Rahman is only a matter that can no longer be related properly.

"Good night Halimah.. Have a good dream." I said to myself before falling asleep.