The Path of Love Halimah
Episode 40's

"Sir Halimah." said Wati when I woke up from my fainting.

"Goddess... Naakk.." said Umi also hugged me with great worry.

I cried so much in Umi's arms.

"Halimah... All this misfortune is by the will of GOD son.we are unable to fight against his destiny.." said Umi interjected with tears.

I didn't answer a bit.

I still continued to dissolve in my deep pain.

Faintly with Mr. Kades, Abi and several community leaders were talking to immediately bury the victims who had been found and identified in accordance with existing procedures.

Led by my Father-in-law, the late Father, Mother and the victims were then sholated along with the surviving citizens and sympathizers who came to help.

The funeral was finally completed just before the Azan Ashar reverberated.

And after the Ashar prayer, we also returned to the lodge with mixed feelings, crumpled and dim.

No one spoke during the trip.

All dissolved in sadness and a very tired feeling.

After taking a bath, I sat leaning on the edge of the bed accompanied by a woman who was still faithful by my side.

My body was crumbling, my heart was hurting, my eyes were hurting, my brain was messing up, and my feelings were breaking.

My tears have all been shed all day.

But my heart still hurts so much that it feels so hard to breathe.

"Halimaah.. drink a little warm tea is yes son.." said Umi thrust a glass of warm tea made.

Without answering I gulped little by little the tea that Umi gave until it was gone.

"Wati, tonight please accompany Halimah first... Soon azan magrib, we pray together at home, yes." said Umi on wati and me.

Wati nodded slowly, while I just kept silent not beegeming.

Umi became the imam of the prayers of the three of us, because Abi prayers magrib congregated in the mosque.

After the prayer, Umi led the prayer to pray for both the deceased and my parents.

It felt like confirming every prayer that Umi said.

"YES ALLAH... Too sudden.. I'm not ready for it" cried my own heart.

And I came back crying in their arms.

It was still at 21:02 wib when I decided to lay down his body that felt increasingly weak.

A plate of rice with side dishes served Umi can not be swallowed by me.

Even the water was bitter.

I also fell asleep among the cries that were still in my eye bags.

At exactly 3:00 wib, I woke up.

I saw Wati sleeping on my left side.

Slowly I got up to the bathroom.

I did the tahajud prayer accompanied by a 5-watt yellow light that was still on.

I came back crying.

To re-imagine the faces of my parents I saw this afternoon for the last time.

A pale face but smiling.

The face that during their lives fought for me.

The face that I no longer see can see his smile.

"Dad.. Mothers... Forgive the sins of Halima.. Forgive Halima who has not been able to make Father and Mother proud." I said slowly with a restrained cry.

I don't want my cry to wake Wati who is still asleep.

"Dad.. Mothers... Still can't believe the taste... It all happened too quickly... Halimah is not ready Buk... Halkmah wasn't ready Dad." I said again.

"Dad... Mothers... Who else does Halkmah depend on now? who else did Halimah tell her stories with? complain? complain? it's indulgent? why did you leave without saying goodbye??" I said I still talk to myself.

"Remember not ready Dad... Halima is not in vain... Ibuukkk!!!" my screams are slow in my heart.

"YES ALLAH... Atgfirullah.." I said quickly to master myself.

"Astagfirulah... Astagfirullah.. Astagglory.." I kept on worrying in the crying that kept flowing anyway.

"Punish Me, O ALLAH... Save Me.. Ikhlaskan... Shed the graves of my parents.. Forgive all their sins.. Make them members of your paradise paradise without a hishab... And put them together with those who are sholeh... The people you care about...Aamiin ya robbal alamiin.." My prayers are full of resignation.