The Path of Love Halimah
Episode 58's

A week has Brother Zaky been cold to me.

Yup... From that great night, to this very night, he was so cold, so stiff and so frozen.

Go on and keep quieting me for no reason I know.

Amazingly, he always behaved as usual in front of his family.

Several times he took time to eat breakfast together.

Let me serve her breakfast.

Bandaged, hugged Chia and let me kiss her hands before she left for work.

But unfortunately, every room in our room was like a cold war.

He did not greet me one bit.

What else to tell me so much.

And how much I wanted to share my story every night before we went to bed.

Sometimes he even prefers to sleep on a long sofa that is right next to his desk.

"Abangs.. Tonight Halimah sleeps in Chia's room.. Chia is not healthy.. It was a bit warm this afternoon." I said permission and left without waiting for another answer.

I was too upset with his attitude.

So I chose to sleep in my son's room tonight.

"Bundaa.." cried Chia who saw kj enter her room.

"Chi'ah take medicine huh? Chia's body was a little warm this afternoon, dear." I said bring her medicine down the heat.

He nodded letting me help him take the medicine.

"Chia sleeps, son... God willing tomorrow will be healed soon.. Aamiin" I said while lying right next to her.

"Aamiin.." he answered and then read the prayer before going to bed.

I rubbed it gently.

"YES ALLAH... Were it not for this little boy, this marriage would not have happened.. And I will not be entangled in this complicated marriage.. It hurts so much, O ALLAH.. You have to act like everything's okay.. Trying to make a smile while my heart continues to cut.. Until when I am strong, O ALLAH. "my whisper is in my heart.

Tears that were held up this week finally burst slowly making a very tight tightness in my chest.

I don't want Chia to wake up hearing my sobs.

Slowly I walked to the bathroom.

Spit out all my cries among the flowing water faucets.

"It hurts GOD." I said, holding his chest.

"Until my heart treats me like this... How good it is to me... I'm his wife... Did he realize that?? When should I have this unhealthy relationship? I don't have to always act like nothing's happened.. Though I am wounded by ALLAH." I cried bitterly.

"Astagfirulah... Astagfirullah.. Astagfirullah.." I said a thousand times while trying to wipe away the tears.

"Strong Halimah... Robust... There is no test that GOD gives beyond the ability of his servant... Robust.. Strong." I said I encouraged myself.

I then went back to lying next to Chia after feeling calmer.

I hug my beloved son.

I'm raining some affectionate kisses.

"Dear mother Chia son... God willing Mother is strong for Chia's sake." I whispered hugging her again.

Tonight I spent time crying over my hide that was grim.

How much I miss the past.

Missing Mom, Dad, Brother Hafiz, Umi, Abi and my once free life.

Now it all feels hard.

I'm stuck in a marriage that's not clear where it's headed.

"Until when is ALLAH... Can I preserve this marriage?? Could there be a chance for me and Brother Zaky to become a real married couple.. Can we be a Sakinah, mawaddah and warohmah family like the prayers of the guests they say for this wedding... It is too hard for me, O ALLAH.." I have a softness in my heart.