The Roof You Promised
Section 70 - Don't Feel Guilty

"Why do I have to mind, Mom?" Aurorae scrunched her forehead.

"I'm afraid to see Haidar make you recall your wounds in the past. I'm afraid I'm gonna hurt you again."

Aurorae sighed. "Mas, Haidar doesn't know anything. It's not fair if I hate him either."

Aurorae was once so angry, she was so hurt that she swore to avenge Megumi all her might. But as time went on, the pain faded. Aurorae no longer remembered all of that as a painful thing. It had been a long time since Aurorae had not brought up her wound even if it was only in the heart.

Moreover, Haidar answered Aurorae's curiosity. She told me how Megumi told her about what happened a dozen years ago. About Herjuno being remarried, about why they divorced, and about Satya who is Haidar's real father.

Aurorae was a little surprised. He never asked Herjuno anything about Megumi and Haidar. Aurorae thought, Herjuno still routinely met with Haidar as he regularly visited Ryan and Ryana. The fact that Haidar is not Herjuno's biological son, is enough to make the corner of Aurorae's heart feel tight. Suddenly he imagined how hurt Herjuno felt. All this time, he only cared about his own heart.

"I kept him together until the age of seven until Megumi was released from prison. In one corner of my heart, I loved that child even though it was not my flesh and blood. That's why I still see him secretly. Until the moment Haidar entered the university, I started to keep my distance. I'm a little calm, I think because he's an adult so he can take care of himself." Herjuno.

"Ask the news more often, she must be lonely." Aurorae tries to calm down.

**

Until late at night, Aurorae was not yet sleepy. I don't know what disturbs his mind , it's been thirty minutes since then put out the lights , but he hasn't fallen asleep either.

Aurorae got up, stepped towards Ryan's room. Staring at her son for a while then turning into Ryana's room.

Doing the same thing as in Ryan's room, Aurorae also looked at her daughter's face.

He sighed. His children are growing well. Although he and Herjuno are divorced, but they work well together for the benefit of the children.

Suddenly his chest felt tight, remembering how Haidar lived his life after Herjuno's divorce with Megumi.

There is a little bit of guilt. Is he the cause of the child's suffering?

Aurorae went out, instead of returning to her room she went down the stairs and ended up in her backyard. Standing pecked with both hands crossed on his chest and a face that looked up at the night sky that happened to be dark. There are no stars visible.

"Everything okay?" the sound of Gumilar made Aurorae turn her head.

"Dad saw you alone from the bedroom window, so Dad came down. What's the problem?" ask again before Aurorae could answer.

Aurorae hugs Gumilar. Drown his face in the old man's chest.

"Last noon, we met Haidar. He's a gym teacher at a kids' school."

Gumilar. Thinking about who Haidar meant by his daughter.

"When we got divorced first, it was probably about five years old" he continued. "The boy grew up very well."

"Did he cause trouble?" tanya Gumilar finally.

Aurorae immediately shook her head, then released her embrace. "No, Dad. We had lunch together."

Gumilar pulled the Aurorae towards the seat there. "What's bothering you?"

"The boy grew up well. But the hard road he's been on, makes me feel a little guilty."

Gumilar. He did not want to cut off his daughter's speech, letting Aurorae finish her story.

Aurorae sighed. "Haidar turned out to be not Mas Juno's biological son." he lowered his head, tightening his hands together.

Gumilar remained silent, only staring at the soft Aurorae.

Not finding the surprised response from his father, Aurorae was curious about one thing.

"Did you know that?"

Gumilar. "It was included in Herjuno's divorce suit to Megumi. Jeffrey told me."

Jeffrey was Aurorae's lawyer when he divorced Herjuno. Not long after, Herjuno also used his services to sue Megumi for divorce.

"Herjuno is wrathful, he is already heartened to raise another man's son, but Megumi makes him part with her biological children. Herjuno knew that long before he knew you, but only opened it during your divorce."

Aurorae could not cover her shock. During their marriage, Herjuno never once brought up Haidar. Herjuno never looked for reasons why he married again and cheated on Megumi. He closed his own thing what happened.

Aurorae breathed. Close both sides of the cardigans to cover the tightness in the chest.

"Don't blame yourself. It's all over, after all you said Haidar grew up well, right? Gumilar rubbed the Aurorae's hair softly.

Aurorae. "He's growing up really well. Although Mas Juno used to see him often, he never complained of anything. Including about the many difficulties until the house they occupy is sold and must live in a rented house." Aurorae sighed to pause her sentence for a moment.

"Even when Megumi died, she did not contact Mas Juno for help. The kid, somehow feels. He must be very hurt."

**