The Steel-Cared Rose
Judgementals

"Before you give any judgment to yourself. Technically you have not carried out your duties as a wife. Either at the previous marriage or the one you're currently in."

Sinta did not tell about her transmigration because it was too absurd. Who can believe the story of transmigration?

But it was this transmigration that prevented her from serving Dean as a wife.

At his wedding to Dylan. She also has not carried out her duties as a wife because everything is still very confusing for her.

Is her marriage to Dean over? Fake deaths. Married to Dylan. Destruction of his career, name and character. Very confusing. Where is the life he will live? Right now with Dylan or back to Dean? Live everything as it is. Even if he has to risk severe mental illness. Depression and even suicide? If indeed everything was too much to bear and he had reached the limit of his tolerance in the face of everything?

Anyone can say that everything can be done well. But in reality not all can bear the burden of reality so heavy.   The reality that would speak whether he could deal with it or not?

Sinta is like entering a very winding and dizzying labyrinth. In the middle of the labyrinth.

Can't see Dean behind him or Dylan in front of him.

He was in the middle of a very chaotic and complicated labyrinth. Dark and no light can enter. Because his eyes can't see anything. Hit it right here and there. Without being able to get out of the maze.

"You're just walking in place if you can't decide anything." Megan started her therapy session.

The sun is shining brightly. The clouds look very white like cotton. The air also feels very fresh. Cold and fresh.

There has been no significant progress on Sinta therapy. Megan didn't want to press Sinta. There is no target to be achieved. The only target is that Sinta can accept reality, make peace and move on with her life.

They decided to go down the river. Take a walk. Carry provisions. Planning to have a picnic. Carry a bottle of water and a basket of supplies as well as a cloth that they will use for the base.

"How are you doing today?" Megan rolled out the cloth they were carrying. Sinta put down a food basket containing food and fruit.

"good. I feel better." Sinta took a bottle of drink from Meghan's hand. Pouring it into the glass it was carrying. Drank it.

Take out the box. Contains meat sandwich bread, slice cheese with tomato and cucumber slices. Ginger cake. As well as pieces of fruit that will be watered with salad dressings that have been prepared.

"How do you feel about Dean and Dylan?"

"I got married to Dylan when my feelings for Dean started to grow."

"alright. I can understand your confusion. Besides you have to leave your old life and start with a new one. You were married to your husband when your feelings began to bloom to your previous husband."

"I talked about it openly to Dylan and he understood it."

"Do you still feel polyandry? Feeling your marriage to Dylan is illegitimate? Your marriage is adultery? Even if you haven't had intercourse at all. Dylan doesn't want to touch you before making sure you feel for him. If you feel confident and can accept the reality that exists. Then you will mutually fulfill the rights and obligations of both of you as husband and wife. That's what Dylan told me."

"Dylan is very nice, mature and comfortable." Sinta's tears melted, "I'm afraid I can't return her feelings. But he convinced me. Everyone has arranged. If it was me and Dylan we were meant to be together. We'll mate but if we're not meant to mate then we'll split."

"Dylan wants you to be cured. Continue and live your life comfortably. You're always his priority."

"Dylan loves me?"

"certain. Why would he make you his priority if he didn't love you?"

"I don't know my own feelings. Do I love her? What if I just want her protection?"

"I think we should finish one-on-one. How do you view your marriage and Dean as still going on or not?"

"Fake "death. It means I'm still alive.  I feel like my marriage and Dean's still going on."

"Right now, I'm thinking like that."

"You think it's possible that you asked Dean for a divorce? Then marry Dylan?"

"I admit that my death was a fake because I couldn't possibly file for divorce like normal circumstances."

"I think you still need time to understand this. You had to fake your death. You have no other alternative to decide your old life."

"I think I have to understand this. I can't process everything yet."

"Take your time."

"Can I be healed?"

"It all depends on your efforts. If you treat yourself too hard. I don't think you're gonna get out of your shit."

"I don't know what to do? I feel like I betrayed Dean. Using Dylan." Tears of Sinta are flowing again.

"Get out all your negative emotions. Your thoughts are also your negative perceptions. What made you leave Dean and your old life?"

"I'm not strong to face the pressure. I'm going crazy."

"Do you have any other way but to fake your death. To disconnect you from your old life?"

"I think faking death is the best. I don't see any better path."

"good. You understand this first and then we unravel your other problems. How's it?"

Sinta nodded her head. They chatted lightly. Not discussing the things that confused Sinta.

"Man has feelings. Sometimes that makes them confused and hesitant. If it does not involve feelings, of course, everything will be easier and practical. Do not think too much, especially to force yourself. Free yourself. You don't have any pressure. If you can't continue your marriage to Dylan. Dylan is ready to accept your decision."

"I have to find out what I really want? Not because of Dean or Dylan?"

"yeah. You're free to decide what suits your heart and your feelings best."

"I feel relieved. At least whatever I decide. No pressure and I'm free to decide whatever suits me best."

"yeah. Just chill. There's no pressure. You're free to decide whatever you think will make you happy and comfortable."

"I'll find out. I'm sure there's been a set up, too. There is a destiny and a time of its own."

"If you choose Dean. Then you'll come back to him. Acknowledging your fake death. If he forgives you. You can get back together but otherwise you will get divorced. If you choose Dylan. Faking death is a way to cut yourself off from Dean and all your past."

"Yes. I'll think about it carefully."

Megan invites Sinta to have a picnic and chat to refresh her mind.

"Free your mind. Follow what your heart says. Peace if we do something according to our own heart."

Please nod your head, "Thanks Megan."