Two Traitors
Eps. 43 GIVE UP

Pov Arfan

"When do you want? you shut yourself up like this." said Mother as she continued to bribe me.

I did not answer mother's words, I just focus on chewing the food in the mouth. The pain is so deep, so hard to be treated. I was more closed, I was more closed, I wish an angel would pick me up. Without having to end life.

Five months ago, I tried to take a sedative, at such a large dose, that I could leave this world unable to withstand such a bitter reality, friends I have always been proud of, with such a good wife.they have the heart to betray me, they have the heart to have sex in front of my eyes, without any remorse.

But the attempt to leave the world full of deceit failed. After I was saved by my mother, who quickly took me to the hospital, so that my life could be helped.

Since I got out of the hospital, I have never set foot out of my room now.I often shut myself up, spend time sleeping.

"If you do not have the spirit to live, try to see this old mother.do you have the heart to see the old mother filled with sadness, Remember the message of the late Father. when you can not provide benefits to others, at least you do not make it difficult. You must rise! there is still a lot of happiness that you can pursue." said the mother looks from the corner of my eyes, her eyes release a clear liquid.I want to feel like I hug her, but my body seems to refuse, to do that. I just stared back and forth, like a sane person, but my heart's same brain was still working normally, so my tears couldn't hide my sadness now.

After she finished bribing me, Mother gave me a little medicine to calm down, because I could sleep well.

"Sana, you rest! you must be strong! You have to heal.Pity me, you have to bear everything yourself." said Mom as she lifted my body, then took me to bed.

He did not feel disgusted, even though I had never cleansed my body, since coming home from the hospital.he sincerely took care of this useless child. Without complaining, but he continues to give me motivation so that I immediately rise from the slump.

"You want to use a flashlight?" mother asked after bowing my body on the bed, because my room lights often I break so that my room is very dark so that I can be alone in the darkness.

"I'm sorry mom." I said so quietly, ever since I was in this room, I've never spoken a word to anyone who's seen me. I'd rather scream as loud as I can, to vent all my emotions, rather than having to tell each other.

Mother who was about to take the flashlight, which she had put on the floor, immediately stopped and then stood up while staring at me

"You don't have to ask! I just want you to get up. You're excited again like Arfan I know. I sincerely take care of you, even for the whole life of the mother, but the mother will feel sad, when the mother's child is always proud, now like this." said the mother.

I was silent again, staring blankly, without answering mother's statement.Seeing my attitude returned to ordinary mode, silent without regard to the surroundings. Mother also continued her intention to take the flashlight, then she put it on a nightstand that had been damaged, formless.so that my room room became bright, and the room was, even though he knew what I was going to do with the flashlight.

After saving the flashlight Mom passed away, came out of my room. left me back, in solitude and regret so deep.

After a long time I sat on the edge of the bed, while paying attention to the surrounding area, which began to dim, because of the lighting of the flashlight using the battery. So that the flashlight was not strong to last long. slowly my eyes began to sleepy, maybe the effect of the drug I had been drinking. I threw my body into a mattress that was not wearing bed linen, with a slightly yellowish color. it smells like ****** water-strapped, because when I'm about to urinate, I'd rather pee in my pants, like a 2-month-old kid.

Before going to bed, do not forget I gave the choice to God, between depriving my life, and returning me to a very happy time, when I was with my wife.

*****

The next morning, as usual before Mom left for the office, she would take the time, to get into my room, give breakfast and give medicine.

"Assynnya!" she said, pushing the door of my room, which was never locked. Maybe he thinks I'm not a gil4 so don't bother. Mother would say hello before entering my room, even though she already knew the answer I was going to give.

"Glamma!" I answered in my heart, an answer I couldn't reveal.

Mother was silent for a moment looking at the flashlight, which was still in place, slowly approaching me, then sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Let's wake up! Breakfast first!" exclaimed Mother while pulling my hand to get out of bed.

I lazily followed the pull of my mother, then sat down and looked out the glassless window. It was destroyed after I threw it.

After I finished bribing me and giving me medicine. Mom was willing to go to the office, even though I did not give any response, she will continue to tell me about what activities she will do today.

After Mom left, I was still sitting without taking my eyes off the window.This activity I can do from morning to evening. Nothing can change that position, except sleepiness that comes.

"If you can't benefit others, at least you're not a hassle." long pensively making my hallucinations seem to catch the voice of the father, who whispered near the ear.

Slowly I turned my face to look around, making sure the sound I heard was right the father's voice, but the room seemed quiet, as before.

"Yes I must leave this world, so that you do not bother taking care of this useless person." I thought as I looked back at the window, thinking of the best way to get out of this world.

I got my body up from the bed, walked up to the window.looked down, guessed the distance, calculated mathematically.when I dropped down, Would I die directly, did I die, or just injuries, because if it were just injuries, it would make my mother even more sad. And tormented with my bod0h attitude.

After I considered, it turned out that such a distance would not be able to kill me, so I thought of finding another way so that I could die instantly.

I set my foot toward the outside of the room door, looking for a way to climb into the rooftop of the house, because according to the calculations, there were no survivors, when it fell from the 3rd floor. but unfortunately the door to the Rooftop was locked, and the key was not there, so I just stood there staring at the door. I wish the door would open suddenly.

20 Minutes passed I was still on the stairs, heading to the Rooftop of Mom's house thinking how to open it. But instead of the idea of unlocking I got, I had another idea to end my life. Because after I thought for a long time, when I died, and Mother knew my stiff body, she would definitely feel such great sadness.

After weighing the bad good, in what way I had to leave this world. I finally decided, I must die without anyone knowing the carcass of my body.

I slowly turned my body, descended from the stairs of Rooftop.to my room back.then took the bed linen and bolsters scattered on the floor.

after finishing tidying up my room, I went out to continue my Intention, looking for the place where I died quietly without anyone knowing. After being outside of Kamark, I went outside, I continued down the corridor of the 2nd floor of the mother's house. Carefully, I went down the stairs, afraid of making the person in the house suspicious.

There was the sound of people cooking in the kitchen.maybe it was Mbok iyem who was preparing food for lunch. I continued to walk down the stairs slowly. I noticed the situation outside through the window.I saw Arman who was guarding his post, but shortly waiting, he also left the security guard post to the toilet, Maybe he wanted to pay his wishes.

Seeing such a good opportunity to get out of my mother's house. I quickly opened the door of the house, ran close to the gate. Lucky the gate, unlocked, not locked, so I can get out of the house easily.

I kept walking down the street of the Complex, to get away from Mother's house immediately.Many people saw me as if disgusted, because my body had never touched water, as long as I was at home mother. so it might give off an unpleasant smell.

30 Minutes passed, finally I arrived at one of the bridges that had been unused. Usually, bridges like this are used for temporary bridges before the bridge is built is completed. Only pedestrians pass this bridge, but they do not pay attention to me. Maybe they consider me a person who is not sane, he said, not so much to attract their attention.

I stood in the middle of the bridge, which was already rusty.noticing the torrential flow of water, re-imagining the gloomy life that had befallen me. So that I don't regret doing this.

"B, bod0h! if you want to kill yourself don't go to the water, because if your body falls into the water, it won't hurt you." shouted a woman standing not far from me.

I didn't care about it, my eyes kept staring downwards, gathering the pain I was suffering, for me to leave this world without regret.

"Beg0! why is It Still Standing There! if you plunge down.it's a waste of time, mending let's go to the cave eat chicken noodles." said the voice of the woman earlier, making me very upset, so, the time he likened my distress to just a bowl of chicken noodles.

Irritatedly I glanced at the voice, and there was a woman standing not far away, from where I was standing, slightly pulling one corner of her lips up, as if mocking.

Seeing that everyone did not care about my life, I ended up thinking no more, I jumped into the river with the water so heavy.

"Agggrrrrrhhhhhwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"