WAIT FOR ME AT THE DOOR OF HEAVEN
TAPS. Section 32. Grief and regret

But instead of stopping, my tears flooded both of my cheeks. I'm sorry for what I've done so far that it's never been fair to treat her. If the word time can be repeated I want to repeat it once again, I will redeem all my mistakes that always do rude to him.

The warning from the imam of the mosque who arranged the funeral procession was not able to make me stop crying.

I tried to hold her back, but my chest was claustrophobic considering what I had done to her during her lifetime. I remember how much I never paid attention to her health. I almost never arranged for her to eat. Though he always regulates what I eat, he pays attention to the vitamins and drugs that I must consume to maintain my immune system to be strong in all weather conditions.

He never absent reminded me of eating regularly, even bribed me if I was lazy to eat. I never knew what he was eating because I never asked. I don't even know what he likes or dislikes. My ego overcame all its sacrifices that meant nothing to me.

The whole family knew that my husband was a fan of instant noodles and thick coffee. My chest is claustrophobic, because I know he may be forced to eat instant noodles because I almost never cook for him. At the funeral, I couldn't help myself anymore. I fainted when I saw his body disappear with the hoarding soil. I didn't know anything until I woke up in my big bed. I woke up with regret filling my chest cavity. My mother persuaded me in vain they never knew why I was so hurt, lost myself and that night the night she came came came to say goodbye to me.

The days that I lived after your departure, were not the freedom that I had wanted but I was trapped in the desire to be with her. In the early days - the beginning of your departure. I sat staring at an empty plate. Mother who saw no movement from me mother stood up then filled my plate with rice and side dishes, pauk,

But I had no response there was just blank stares and tears. This body is like a body without a body. My body has gone with half my soul and my countless regrets. All I remember was when my husband persuaded me to eat that I was having a snack first. Every night I wait in the bedroom, and hope tomorrow morning I wake up with her figure next to me.

I used to get upset because he used to fall apart in our bedroom, but now I feel like our bedroom feels empty and empty.

All that stupidity I did because of me, only to realize that she loves me I've been hit by the arrow of her love. I'm also angry with myself, I'm angry because everything seems normal even though He's gone. I'm angry because the clothes are still there died, the smell of it that makes me miss. I was angry because I couldn't stop all my regrets. I was angry because no one else persuaded me to be calm, no one else reminded me to pray even though I now do it sincerely.

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Connect please stay in the footsteps. Thank ye.