Waiting for First Love to Return
Resignedly

"Assalamualaik." My regards when I get home. Direct entry without waiting is welcome. Not even waiting for a greeting.

"Assalamualaik." Repeat again in a louder voice. Yes, all the other times we gather in front of Tivi, but there is an unanswered greeting. I felt unexpected about my arrival.

"Waalaikum salam." The answer was in unison with a loud voice, being shocked by my loud voice. And look at me at the same time.

"Sister Tasya." Excited Marta who happened to be still at home too. Run up to me, and snatch the satay parcel I brought. But I kept it away.

Ah, because he came to me because he was kangen and intended to hug me. Uh, just want to grab some souvenirs. I spread my arms ready to receive a hug.

"Basin a bad boy." I said while shaking his head. Keep out of reach of the package I brought.

"What the hell, brother? Sick know?" His complaint, rubbing his forehead.

Abah, bang Bagas and his son and wife just laughed to see us both.

"His brother came to be greeted by a cake hug, or kissed that hand? Cook just want to doang." I said reaching out and bringing her mouth closer to being kissed after she welcomed her.

"Yes ni Marta. Just finished eating lo. I was so excited to see the package look like the skewer is that." Said Bang Bagas who complained Marta who really likes to eat, but the body is not fat.

"Eating continues to be fat. Where's the food run?" Tymphal.

"Run to the Wc at most." Tama followed the voice, which was met with laughter by everyone, and she got a gift of tangled hair from her abyss hand.

"Ni's out of it." Hand over the package that there are three servings of satay.

"Nggk so ask for a hug, brother? " Width of the hand.

"Related." Choose to approach four people who remain cool in front of tivi while snacking on boiled beans. Ignoring Marta who humped her lips and lowered her hands back.

"Your arms don't do it anymore, Mar. The new bride is satisfied." Reply sister Ina teased and glanced at me. Which makes the family room more rame by laughter.

"Where is your husband alone?" Ask Bang Bagas who saw me enter the man. I followed her looking back that Reyhan hadn't seen coming.

"Where is he?" Mumamku.

"Don't say marahan again? Cook the newlyweds a week in conflict." He accused Abah with a serious face. Like my defendant.

"Nehh, Bah . Still out." I answered and shook my hand, plus kissed my cheek.

"Really?" As if I couldn't believe it.

"Yes really, ,abah. Since when do I love to lie?"

"Why yes?" Ask Marta who has opened her food.

"Then I want to ." Approaching Marta.

"Assalamualaik." The voice of my husband's greeting that we answered simultaneously. Who went in and embraced everything that existed. Except me and the other one eating?

"So healthy?" He asked who was sitting next to Abah. Right in front of me sitting sideways.

"Thank God be healthy."

"Ngapain first anyway? How long has it been coming in?" Ask in a low voice.

"There was a phone call earlier. Why indeed? Are you a kangen? " Haddoh. Why be a gini kepedean him? Where the sound is not allowed anyway.

"The new bride is like that, Rey. Kangen keep on." Bang Bagas replied, which made me glare in disbelief. Shame to be more exact.

"Well, bang Bagas, brother Ina, don't want to eat this? " Tanya Marta pointed to the package that had not been opened. He ate a meal with Tama.

"Gone up." Bang Bagas santuy.

"Pengen the hell bang, but it's not fit." It was her satiety.

Everyone gathers and tells stories. The thing I miss so much, the one I didn't get at home. At home in-laws gather only at the table to eat for breakfast, after that go all. Dinner is rarely complete with family members. Often Rasya who has not come home at dinner, his wife also rarely dinner with me and Reyhan. Prefer to spend time in the room. Not compact family there mah. Only crowded when distant families gather.

_____

"How do you want it?" Still a relaxed mode.

"Slide." Pushing his body that was completely useless. Because his body doesn't shift. It was heavy.

"Far away there you. " Try pushing repeatedly. And put away her comfortable hand wrapped around my waist. But always come back again and again.

"Don't blame him if his sleep isn't this far away. Salahin is his narrow bed. I don't want to jatoh." Even looking for her scapegoat, hitting the cot that knew nothing. Take an innocent bed.

I chose silence, no longer rebellious. Raise the head look and measure the mattress that has not been replaced after this marriage. Although fit to sleep together, but still not as fast as in Reyhan king size, according to the room is also spacious. Even though my room is also not quite narrow.

"Tomorrow I'll change." I said finally, and turned back my head.

"Nggk. I like this." Forced to pull me to see it, and turn my body to face it. Which makes us sleep facing each other. Which instantly makes my heart dag dig drug not careless.

"I want to sleep always hugging you like this." Close my arms, and put my face on her. Smelling clearly the fragrance of his perfume also sounded the heartbeat that is not much different from me. I held my breath for a moment, to control the heart working out of bounds. But the fragrance of perfume I am so sad. I inhale deeply into this soft scent.

I felt my old kiss, and the not-so-clear recitation of the prayer in my ear. Suddenly my body felt strange. Feel the bristling and twitching of certain areas. Something new I feel now. Even I did not resist and resigned when the kiss was now down to the eyes, and to the cheeks. Continues on the lips.

"Are you quiet?" Ask in a voice that sounds loud. I dare not look at it. Choosing to close your eyes. Confused about what to do.

"What should I do?" I asked a little nyolot, wanted to refuse the truth. But there's no power to it. Although this is my body, but this is already his right.

"Nggk know it. You've never kissed at all?" A question that sounds really annoying. Wanna mock him?

For six years dating Arfan we never had more contact. Never kiss, never hug. At best hand grip. Just it's. Not more. He takes care of me.

Where are you, Ar?

"Why not yet? Want to tell me I'm a cathartic and tacky woman?"

"Snk dong. I'd like to say thank you instead. In vain I refrained from dating all this time, it turns out to get a wife who is still sealed everything. I'm grateful. It turns out that God's promise was proved true." His words sound sincere.

He continued his activities. Although there was no reply from me at all. Didn't even ask for my readiness or willingness. Don't I have no choice but to leave? So, don't expect me to give you a reply. Because I don't know how to pay it back either.

Now it's time I really buried my hope of living with you, Ar. I hope there are no regrets for you or me. My inner.

As much as I love you. Whatever I wait for you. I am still afraid of the wrath of my Lord. If indeed one day fate wills to bring you before me again, and there is still love in your heart for me. Don't ever question my virginity if you want to be with me.

*I'm sorry, Ar. If I can be honest. Right now, at this moment I wish you were really no longer on the same page as me. So that I don't regret betraying the love and promises we made. Even though I wouldn't be willing if you really didn't exist.

Believe, Ar. Even though I'm married now. And getting comfortable and used to the man who is now my husband. You remain in my heart. You still have your own place in my heart. Then, now, tomorrow, and then.

I'm always waiting for you if you're still breathing. Return,Ar*!

I was busy with my own thoughts and feelings. Until without me knowing now I have not worn a single outfit at all.

The guilt of betraying the love of the heart made me not enjoy Reyhan's touch at all. Let the body's natural response reciprocate.

At first I enjoyed the touch. But why is Reyhan talking about dating? Which brings me back to the past.

Am I too stupid? In front of me was a gentleman who had sworn before God a witness and a forerunner, who would love and protect me. But I'm still thinking about people who don't know where. Just for love reasons.

Hiks hyks

"Sorry ? " Said Reyhan Stopped his awfulness when he realized my sobs. And tears that melt from both my eyes.

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