Waiting for First Love to Return

Waiting for First Love to Return
Tearing Down a House vs Waking Up a House


The car drove slowly through a row of houses that were still the same as the last time I passed a few weeks ago. Just before I got married I stopped by this area. Make sure that Arfan has really left and will not return.


Passing through the streets again makes my heart sad. Sick to recall memories together through the streets that were once still the streets of cast cement. But now it has turned black asphalt. His laughter and smile again flashed across his head, his voice ringing back while still wearing his school uniform. My eyes were staring at the location of the house that was not far away.


I rolled down the windshield as I passed through Arfan's past house. The house that used to be the largest in this area, the most magnificent among others. And some time ago the dwelling was worn out unkempt. The paint peels with cracks everywhere, and the wooden frame is porous. Gentile roofs have leaked a lot that makes the floor mossy and the ceiling torn. And now? The building has been demolished. There is debris on the ground. Heavy equipment pushed debris over the rubble. And some officers measure, for what reason.


My heart was pinched sickly looking at the ruins of that house. As if it helped tear down some of my heart that I tried to take care of until now. Memories with him, as well as with his grandmother and grandfather who also knew me well wandered in the shadows. When joking, when cooking together, also when choosing his home for schoolwork group work with other friends. Because if I was at home I would refuse.


Why do I like to cook? Arfan answer. I was not good at cooking. Not even interested in the kitchen. Arfan who likes and is better at cooking. Every time I come to this house I'm just told to sit with him to cook. Try a new menu to cook. And I was always the first taster and was told to be the judge of his cooking. The cuisine is always perfect in my tongue. Whatever he cooks, it always delights in my taste buds.


Until the moment he left without news, I began to learn to remember his presence in the form of cooking. Learning to cook is not that difficult. Following the style and how to play kitchen tools that have been recorded clearly, because it continues to repeat. Even now I intend to start a business capitalizing on his memories. Thank you Arfan.


"Why are you?" Reyhan asked who saw me speechless without a sound, looking at the ruins of the house that is already uninhabitable. He kept staring at her until she was invisible. Even until now our car stopped exactly four houses after, I still look back that has not seen its form, only the sound of excavators working is heard.


"Yes. Wh why? Is there something strange about the house?" Reyhan asked gently. Touching my shoulder from behind, and also staring at the ruins of the house that had been my concern.


I stammered in shock at Reyhan's reprimand. Trying to wipe away the tears that had piled up. Showing the sweetest smile to cover what I think. To awaken to the place and status I now see. Don't let my husband know about my anxiety.


"Nggk papa ko, Ay. Look at the collapsed house. It must be pity, right?" I said origin, trying to master myself. And look back at the back.


"Why pity? The house deserves to be demolished. We want to build a new one." Reyhan said astonished at my reaction. Raising his eyebrows is strange with my attitude.


"Oh yeah? Ayanx knows the owner?" Manyaware. Don't let Reyhan and Arfan know each other. Can you do Berabe, right?


"Nwgk. Maybe Mother knows." Looking at the back that was silent. Mother only smiled faintly looking at the two of us.


"You guys are funny. From home just silence. Talk about something unimportant. Don't you want to talk about why you came here? Talk about people's houses." Mommy shook her head looking at the two of us.


Duars. I am self-conscious at this time. I don't even know why I came here. And I don't know what my husband's taking me to come near my ex's house. Not the ex, right? Because there is no word separate, even though in fact the distance has become a stifling separator. Distance that has given a limit is more cruel than the word break.


"Emang why?" My toot. Because it passed through Arfan's house. Until I forget that I was invited here must have a purpose.


I saw Reyhan smiling brightly with flickering eyes, then looking ahead. I follow the direction of the bridge. Viewing the area around.


In front of us was a new house built. Already stand firm with the support wood that has not been removed all. Some sand and gravel mounds were left right. With unplastered walls on its entire surface. Right left is still a large enough empty yard with a zinc fence at each boundary. There is also a small house on the left side, perhaps as a resting place for workers, as well as a place of some materials.


Why were you invited here? Wh-wh-what for?


I see Reyhan needs an explanation. Got who? That's how my gaze might mean.


"Son Tasya. This is the house Reyhan built with his own money. Even the ones who made the building pictures were also Reyhan. But sorry wasn't when you were married. So you have to stay at home Beti and Rasya first. " Say Mother with pride, at the same time feel guilty.


Staying at Beti and Rasya's house? That word disturbed my mind. Mean what?


"This is my home. The one we occupy is Rasya's bang house. Wanna come down to see?" Ask the husband to offer. Open the car door ready to go down.


"sorry. Mother had no home before. We used to live only a contract that was often angry because of late payment of rent. Sorry for making you uncomfortable living with Beti. " Mother said sad and feeling guilty.


"That means we've been with Beti, Ay? Why didn't you say it anyway? I'm not feeling well with Beti. Good thing he never mentioned this." My words are not good, protest at the husband who does not want to tell.


"Udah ngk papa then. Her Betty also did not know that the house belonged to her husband. Kan Beti entered Rasya bang and we're already in that house." Reyhan came down first. Help Mommy move her wheelchair.


I was still staring at the two-story building in front of me. Still not getting out of the seat. Until the door opened right next to me.


"Manja dh, Yanx. Pake ask to be opened the door of everything. Or do you want to be carried in there?" Reyhan's seductive voice broke my daydream.


"I didn't ask, Ay. You can walk alone." Brushing his hand that was approaching ready to carry. I'm ashamed of myself. Walking down that Reyhan followed while pushing Mother's chair.


This afternoon the workers were deserted. Maybe I'm home for a break. I walk carefully. Because there are still many tools, also wood and nails in the area.


"You guys are coming in. Mother wait here." Mother said holding her son's hand that pushed the chair. With a sweet smile on his face.


"Mother sure you don't want to come in?" My question is convincing.


"Yes rest assured. It must be in more mess. Must be hard on this wheel." The reason mother while hitting her chair. " Mother's entry if it's clean. "


"Yes Mother. I try to get clean soon." Reyhan's promise to walk and squat in front of you. "Kalo gitu Mommy here only. Don't go far. " the message.


_______


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