Waiting for First Love to Return
First Meeting

I was still silent in his arms. I felt Arfan rubbing my back gently. My lyrics Amel looked anxiously at me. But somehow later, because as far as I know Amel is a gossip lover. Let it. I'm sure he knows what to say, and what to keep.

"You why the hell? Are you sick? I'm taking you to the hospital, right?" Tanya Arfan breaks down the hug. Directing me to sit face to face, she gently touched my cheek and rubbed it gently. "Your face is pale. You sick? " She was worried.

"I'm not papa." I answered weakly, with lips still heavy to create a smile. I lowered his hand from my cheek. Uncomfortable with his touch.

"No papa? Or because I am so happy to meet you? so keder like this? " Tempts slowly by raising his eyebrows. With my hands I will not take my hands off. Clasping my fingers tightly as if afraid to disappear again.

"Ck." Decakku. Diverting his eyes, choosing to stare at the slowly surging lake water as the strong wind came.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the wind that was blowing in my face. Calms the heart and mind uncertainly. Confused how to behave? And don't know what to say. Not finding the right words to represent what I feel.

"I'm sorry." His words sounded sincere when he saw me only speechless. I just took a quick look at it, and then looked back. While Arfan was still sitting facing me, with eyes that could not be separated looking at me. I don't know what he's feeling right now.

"For?" My toot.

"I'm sorry for taking so long to leave not to tell you. Go without saying goodbye. But I really never wanted that to happen. I never intended to leave you. I've been looking for you for a long time, but never met. Sorry for making you wait so long." He said slowly, with his hands still clasping tightly.

"Keep what do you want now?" Cold speech. Actually, that question is more precisely what I asked myself. What do I expect from this relationship? I have made a sacred promise with another man. Do I have the right to hope for more? May it?

I still believe this love still belongs to Arfan. Although that doesn't mean I don't love Reyhan. I'm comfortable with Reyhan who doesn't give me much regulation in my daily life, never snapping at me at all. Never asked me to do this or that. He never let me down, but that doesn't mean he always makes me happy.

And Arfan? I still love him like in the past. I still feel happy just to remember our togetherness, the happiness that at once felt sad because of the disappearance of him. But now he has come. Would I leave Reyhan for Arfan? Can I be happy with Arfan? But would I be happy if I hurt a lot? Especially the heart. Can I be happy with the suffering of others?

Arfan was silent for a long time, staring at me. Then saying. "I don't know if what I want is the same as what you want. I know I've been gone a long time without news. I never knew how your heart was after so long apart. Is it too selfish if I wish your love was still entirely for me? But believe. If I always loved you. Despite all these years of parting with you, my heart is only for you. Is it wrong to wish I were always with you? I want to repeat our beautiful story, or at least create a new happiness in a halal bond? "

"Do you want us to repeat everything from the beginning? We separated without any problems. I'm sure we can have more beautiful and happier days than we used to."

I was silent, looking at him sharply. After all this time he left without any news, and he kept coming late and making his point? He came to repeat old stories, or to invent new ones? Didn't ask her how I felt and what I experienced after she's been gone for so long? No wonder how my current status is? I can no longer be said to be young. Don't you know that sometimes time can change things? Including the human heart and character?

"How confident are you? You think after all this time you abandoned me, I still love you? Is the man worth loving just you?" My words sneer. But those words more precisely mocked my own heart which turned out to be unable to forget him even though he had disappeared for so long without any news. Even to love a man as good as Reyhan still hesitates. I laugh, laugh at myself.

"Really, Tha. At first I doubted. Not confident to see you again. I'm not sure if you still love me faithfully. I think only a fool would endure loving a man who disappeared without news. But when you see your reaction when you first saw me. I believe and am very sure that you still love you. I stared at the happy twinkle in your eyes, though I also knew you were angry and disappointed in me. But I believe that your happiness is more domineering. I still understand the look in your eyes that speak, when your speech does not want to make a sound. I'm sure there's still love in your heart for me. The look in your eyes never changes when you look at me." Obviously at length.

"Just a fool." I laughed and repeated his words. Only those words caught my brain. The others I don't care about.

Well, I'm the fool.

"No, Tha. No fool, that's called faithful. Faithful to one love until the end of life. I did too." Raised my hand to touch his chest. Feeling the detachment. But I pulled my hand back. My eyes are glazed over for so many things.

"After what you say? I still have love in my heart for you. Are you sure there is a father who willingly gives up his daughter to a man who has disappeared without explanation? Is there a father who entrusts his daughter's responsibilities to the man who has disappointed her? Is it possible for a father to make the same mistake for his baby? I'm sure you won't forgive you easily." I said with a little voice. My tears came back, holding my chest tight.

"If you come three or four months early. I will welcome you with joy. Baby though. I'm disappointed in you." I continued to be sad, desperate for the continuation of this relationship. Is there still a gap to knit the story together?

"I'm sorry. " Saying is sorry. " How is Abah? " Changes discussion.

He knows, I know too. Abah never let his two daughters close to just any man. And when Arfan comes, you just welcome the unfriendly cold. But the longer and the more you get to know each other, you begin to accept Arfan and bless our relationship. Certainly because Arfan tried hard to convince and prove that he deserved to get his daughter. Abah approved On condition that we keep obeying the religious signs that we profess. Abah believes Arfan is not a man who likes to play with women, looks sincerity and seriousness from him. But is it possible to come back to trust after years of making her daughter cry? Made his daughter lose the joy that used to exist.

"You think?"

"I know I was wrong. I have wasted the blessing I have worked so desperately for. I tried so hard to convince Abah, it turned out that I also destroyed her trust."

"Everything's happened."

"But really, I don't intend to do any of that. That's beyond my power. ...."

"It's God's destiny." I said cut his words.