Winter in Hokkaido
Chapter 12 part 4: Grey

Dad called me many times. He said there was a special guest who wanted to see me. Wh who? My friends if they want to visit will definitely tell you first.

Ken? Is it really him sitting on the couch? Does he want to apologize? This could be a chance for me to lock his attention. What if the scenario I reassembled is destroyed again? Better to try than guess.

“Hai, Ken. What's up here?” ketus.

But the father answered. Although he didn't understand my words, but he said I wasn't good at speaking in such a tone to Ken.

“I want to chat with you for a moment, can?” pinta Ken with smooth.

Ken also asked my father for permission to talk to me. Dad then let us both. Before leaving, Dad advised me to be more mature. He said, I don't have to exaggerate the problem. Okay, I can't cover the look on Ken's angry face.

“May, why did you just go home? I call your number busy.”

Is this Ken really innocent? I was angry, because he didn't care about me. In addition, he gave the dishes I made for him to Add on the grounds that he did not like processed meat. Then, my number was busy because I was calling Minako.

“You think it yourself.” I want to test how tough he is to face an angry woman. If he's trying to cool me down, it means he's worried and there could be a sense in me.

“May, I'm sorry if any of my attitudes are wrong. But please tell me where my fault lies, so that later I can fix it.”

I can't afford to ignore it much longer. Yes, I hope he can understand my feelings with this explanation.

“Good.” I set my breath for a while to be more fluent and calm in expressing annoyance. “First, yesterday afternoon he said you were only out for a while. In fact, you have lunch with someone else. I was waiting for you, and you know that?”

Ken was serious about listening to my complaints, he didn't seem to want to cut my words.

“Oke, you're sorry. I accept. After all, I'm nobody to you. So, I have no right to be excessively angry. Then the second one, I think this morning can replace what happened yesterday. I took the initiative to make you breakfast. More precisely for both of us.”

Ken is just listening. I tried to hold back my emotions so as not to shed tears. “But what happened? Add coming. It's not that I'm not happy that he's having breakfast with us, but his arrival just makes me look like a show. You focus more on Add, as if I'm not in front of you. The thing that then makes me very disappointed, you said you don't like processed meat. Though...”

“May..” This time Ken tried to interrupt.

However, I want him to hear my story until it runs out first. “I beg you to let me tell you until I finish first.”

Ken nodded. My tears are getting more urgent.

“I don't mind you giving that food to someone else. Just, why should you say you don't like processed meat? Though yesterday I saw you so good at eating Wagyu Beef Steak. That's why, I'm trying to impress her with me. I know, you may not have opened your heart to me yet. However, am I wrong if I want to show attention as a friend?”

This time I had to wipe away the tears that came out from both corners of my eyes. There was satisfaction after successfully getting my mind out.

“May, I didn't mean to hurt you like this.” Ken's face looks guilty. “On lunch yesterday, at first I just drove Add to buy a new tripod. I can't believe he's taking me to lunch too. He said, in exchange for me who had rejected the honor he gave for the photo shoot. I'm not good at refusing her invitation.”

Ken seemed to be breathing for a moment. “Then, about the food you gave me, but it was eaten by Add. At first, Add took me out to dinner. However, I remember there was still food from you. I did say I don't like meat very much, that's right. Then, yesterday I also ate a lot of meat and I really like the dishes in the restaurant, that's also true. But if I eat too much meat, I become nauseous at night. Then about breakfast this morning..”.

“Sorry I cut your explanation.” When I heard his explanation about Add taking dinner outside, I felt I didn't need to hear his explanation anymore. “I understand, maybe you are more comfortable with Add.”

“Not so, May...” Ken's face looked flushed, probably from trying to hold back emotions.

“Sorry, Ken! I'm sleepy. I want a break.”

Ken standing. I didn't mean to shoo him out subtly. But hearing him tell me about Add, I felt sick. It was as if I was being compared to that man.

“You just sit down first. I'll call Dad to accompany you for a chat. Sorry yes, Ken!”

Just turning around, Ken called.

“May...” Her gentle calling made my steps stare. “Later tonight, will you be dinner with me?”

Dinner's? Is that some kind of date, Ken? Or do you just want to entertain me? I was worried about wanting or refusing.

“Please!” I responded while turning around.

“I'll pick you up at 7 o'clock ya.”

“Successful, but I don't want to hope.”

“I'm serious!”

I continued my steps while calling out to Dad. Dad came straight. I'm telling you Ken wants to talk to her, and I need a break.

I'm glad Ken deliberately came to the house to explain and apologize. But from Ken's exposure, it occurred to me that Ken and Add might have every dinner together. Uncle Yamada is not around. Ken stayed at the hotel, and Add also slept there. Ah!!!

I dropped it on the bed, forgot all the fear. All of Minako's allegations that Ken might also be gay or bisexual, I tried to prevent him from getting too far in my mind. I'm sure Ken didn't sleep one room with Add. They have their own rooms, right?!

Drowsiness finally forced me to stop thinking about all the possibilities for my fear. It didn't take long, my eyes were tightly closed.

I don't know how long I slept. It feels pretty fresh too. Indeed sleep can release a moment of restlessness.

I saw the clock on the phone, showing it at half 7. Then, there was a chat from Ken who said he was heading to my house. I'm glad he's serious about what he says. Although this might just be to reduce his guilt towards me, but let it be. If he didn't like me in the slightest, he wouldn't have gone this far to ease my anger.

I immediately took a shower, dressed, and polished my face. Half an hour for women to prepare their appearance is very short.

Father called. He said Ken was waiting. I hope you're not interrogating Ken a lot. I'm afraid Ken's uncomfortable. Especially if asked how she feels about me. I hope you still know the boundaries.

When looking in the mirror and making sure my appearance has been maximized, I remember the previous events. Could this romantic meal fail like the previous two events? Fear exists, but joy cannot be hidden. This is how women, if given attention again, the heart quickly brightens back.

The point is, I'm trying not to fantasize and write the screenplay for this time. I just try to live with the hope that there are no more distractions. Add's not coming, is he? If so, at least I feel like my date will be safe. Yeah, I'm just saying it's a date.

He smiled at my appearance. He said I'm very pretty tonight. Unfortunately, I'm not too happy that compliment came from my father. Of course, I wish Ken had said that.

“You’re so beautiful tonight.”

My heart stopped for a moment. I'm trying to make sure that it's actually coming out of Ken's mouth. That's not my hallucination. That's not the sound of the wind I'm dubbing right?

I saw Ken smiling at me. He stuck out his hand a sign asking me to leave immediately. Then I saw Dad looked bright. Ken praised me in front of my father. Is this a signal Ken is starting to open his heart to me? No, I promised not to make any more imaginary scenarios.

Then, with courtesy Ken paid his respects to Dad. I see Dad's face never been this happy to see me go out with men.

“Take care!” dad said, patting Ken on the arm. Ken replied with a very sweet smile.

But once ready to leave, suddenly Ken's car does not want to light up. Later, Ken got out of his car and checked the condition of the engine. Not wanting tonight's plan to fail, I got off to get my car keys. But, Dad was already standing at the door watching us from earlier. He immediately pulled out his car keys.

Ken was hesitant to accept my father's car keys. He asked for time to check the condition of his car. Dad suggested we leave before the night got late.

Eventually, Ken replaced his car with my father's. Dad also said he would call a mechanic to fix Ken's car, which seemed to be a constraint on the engine.

I don't know where Ken's gonna take me. Every time I'm with him, I don't want to know his destination and the way home.

Usually Ken would ask me for a place recommendation. This time, however, he drove the car without asking for a purpose. He already knows where to go. That means he has also prepared a special place.

I remembered Yuriko's suggestion, which was to get Ken drunk and act like I had Ken fucked when he was heavily drunk. Looks like it's a good time. Plus Ken is feeling guilty about me. If I increase her guilt, she could be mine.

The plan sounds very dramatic and not good. However, it's a way to drive Add away from Ken's side as well. Minako says I should be able to get Ken away from Add. Don't let Ken drift away in the comfort provided by Add, then he can't not be with the troublemaker.

The restaurant we went to was in Susukino. The area is filled with restaurants, bars, and hotels. I am not familiar with this restaurant. Somehow Ken knew this place, whereas he himself rarely went around Sapporo City.

After having enough dinner, I ordered a beer. I purposely eat only a little, because if most will make my stomach full so I can't afford to drink as much as I planned.

After my order came, Ken looked shocked.

“You didn't mean to spend it by yourself, did you, May?” ken asked after seeing 12 large glasses of beer on our dining table.

“Take it easy. If you want, you can take it.” To be honest, I was a bit confused as to where to start this drama.

Quickly two beers passed through my esophagus. I tried to lure him in, but I did not see him react yet. Don't let me get drunk!

“Drunk is a way to let go of the problem,” I said as if I had begun to lose consciousness. Even though up to 5 glasses I still will not feel drunk.

As soon as he entered the third glass, when the lips of the glass had touched my lips, Ken snatched it. He slightly stomped the glass so that the contents spilled partially. Then, Ken waved to the restaurant waiter. The gesture showed the service to bring the remaining beers.

Does Ken not like to drink alcohol? Then Ken wouldn't like a woman who drinks alcohol either, would he? It's critical. My plan is threatened with failure. I was too careless, not trying to figure out whether Ken likes to drink alcohol or not.

Ken kept pushing my hand away trying to grab the beers. Even with his left hand he could lock both of my hands. His eyes were staring hard at me. No, my plan is a mess. I felt very stupid, because I carried out the plan without careful preparation. I just looked at the situation without thinking about the conditions that would occur.

“Tonight, I want to make my mind drift.” I tried to let go of my locked hand. This is already over. I am the one who is drunk. What will happen, let it happen.

But when the waiter approached, Ken instead asked him to leave. What happened to Ken?

I was very surprised when Ken grabbed a beer and immediately gulped it down. His left hand was holding both hands. While his right hand was no less sturdy lifting the beer glasses. Yeah, quickly three beers he spent even though some of them flowed from mouth to chest. It was obvious that the white shirt was wet and stained.

“Ken, already!” I tried to stop him in the 4th glass.

Ken coughed after lowering the third glass, but still forced to spend all the remaining beer at the table. Ken is not a drinker. Now I'm worried something's happening to her.

I kept begging him to stop drinking beer. Unfortunately, he continued until the 6th glass. I could only speak without being able to move my hand to stop his ridiculous actions.

Ken grabbed the 7th glass. There were two beers left in front of us.

Since the 3rd glass, Ken's movements began to slow down. It seemed like the influence of alcohol was rapidly flowing into his body. I was planning to get him drunk, but not by provoking his emotions either.

Ken is starting to feel helpless. His grip began to fall off. His head slowly fell to the table accompanied by nausea and almost vomiting.

I confirmed Ken's condition by shaking his body. He still responds if he is okay. He was still trying to get back the remaining beer. I also asked for service to clean our table.

I moved Ken's body again, he didn't respond. I became frightened. He was drunk or something happened to him.

About my plan, I'll think about it later. I'd better take Ken home to Uncle Yamada's first. I have to make sure he's only drunk for a while.

I tried to lift Ken's body. It sounded like he was talking, yet it was unclear, like muttering.

This is the first time I've ever touched Ken's body. Put his hand on my shoulder. If only this had happened while Ken was conscious.

Just stepping in to take Ken, someone came snatching him. I was shocked, because he appeared all of a sudden.

“Let me take him home,” said Add.

How did he know we were here? Is he following me? I tried to take Ken's body back. But the service actually helped Add more, because he claimed to be a good friend of Ken.

“Wait ahead. I'll be there soon,” my orders to Add. But he continued to step with Ken, regardless of the words I said.

I took the car keys in Ken's shirt pocket earlier. Then I ran towards the parking lot. I need to get Ken home soon. But while in the car, I remember Ken's cell phone and suit still inside the restaurant. I went back to the restaurant to get it.

After that, I wait for Add and Ken in front of the restaurant lobby. A few minutes passed, but they were not seen in front of me. Are they still inside? I started to get nervous and panic.

Then, one of the security men approached me. I just explained that I was waiting for two friends, and conveyed the characteristics of Ken and Add. The officer explained that the person I was referring to had left by taxi. It sucks! Add really didn't listen to my words.

Without a second thought, I immediately stepped on the gas. I should be able to catch up to Add. Where's he taking Ken? Why did he suddenly appear in a drama? I'm not gonna let that thief get away with Ken's body.

Ken's not at the hotel. I've searched his room, as well as Add's. Not even the receptionist saw them go back to the hotel. If not here, where did Add take Ken?

My feelings were so anxious mixed with annoyance. Then, the suspicion spread throughout my brain cells. I was worried that Add would do something that was in my fear.

I can't see their existence now. If not back at the hotel, where would Add take Ken home? To Uncle Yamada's house? I'm not sure Add knows where Ken lives, other than at the hotel. But there is no harm in trying to go there.

I drove straight to Uncle Yamada's house. When I got there I saw the door open. Is Uncle home yet? Isn't it still a week's worth of Uncle in Seoul? Without making a sound, I went straight into the house.

I heard someone's voice coughing. It was Ken's voice. I immediately approached the source of the sound. Through the door of the room that was slightly open, I tried to scout first.

However, I was very surprised to see Add taking off Ken's clothes. There was a sense of worry, I went in or watched outside like this.

Then, I noticed what Add did again. I almost screamed. After stripping off all of Ken's clothes, Add kissed the helpless-looking body.

Sometimes Ken sounds whimpering. No. gabe. My fear became real. Then, Add turned Ken's body around. My heart's poetry looks resigned too. Add tries to enjoy Ken's helplessness in order to vent his lust.

Tears flooded both my cheeks. I don't even understand myself. Why am I just silent like this? I can only watch Add's disgusting deeds against Ken.

What am I supposed to do now? Suddenly Add was in front of me. His presence obviously surprised me.

“What's up, May?” tanyanya polo's.

I watched her body covered in a towel. Remnants of sweat are still clearly drawn from the face to the chest.

Aplaaaak!!! My right hand just flew and landed hard on Add's cheek. At least he didn't move.

I'm getting furious. Want to tear his face like there is no sin. My emotions are so burning.

“You are indeed a jerk”, I swear with a pounding heart.

Add staring. I don't want to lose staring at him more sharply. I'm not afraid, even if he might hit me back.

“Originally you know, we love each other. We do it with love.”

Really dickhead. With confidence he said that. I wanted to slap him one more time, or if possible several more times until he realized his speech and behavior were so depraved.

When I swung my hand to the cheek I had slapped, he parried it first. My hand was clutched tight enough that I had to try my hardest to let go.

Then, there was Ken's voice that seemed to still be in pain. Add let go of my hand, then he rushed towards Ken.

Again, I can only be silent. There's no more scenarios I can play. My body suddenly stiffened. It's even worse than any fear I've ever imagined.

Add didn't tell me to go home. However, the incident already hinted at this. Staying here also only makes my mind more sick. Let me ask Ken for a direct explanation for what just ripped my eyes out.

My heart was like it was sliced when Add said he and Ken loved each other. I can't believe what he said. I'm sure it's just a way for me to understand his perverted deed.

Add can take advantage of this moment to fuck Ken. Stupidly, I was just a spectator.  My crying is getting unstoppable.

But, why is Ken so resigned when Add launched his lust? He just groaned in pain without a fight. Although in a state of heavy drunk, Ken can still respond. That means his consciousness has not completely disappeared, right?

Pain and pain quickly mixes into wounds on the body. As fast as I drive this car at 100 km/h.