Winter in Hokkaido
Chapter 21: Prejudice

My husband looked even colder after returning from Japan. Even when he got home, he went straight to sleep. He said he was not feeling well and was exhausted. In fact, I hope he hugs with longing before deciding to lay down on the bed.

A week without seeing me feels like a year. I, who was enthusiastic to hear his experience in Japan, had to be satisfied with his indifferent attitude. He only showed pictures of snow in Hokkaido, not much. When I asked him, he said he didn't have enough time to go around. But that's not what I want to hear. I'm waiting for him to tell me about Winter in Hokkaido with a beaming face.

I try to understand from different sides of perception. Perhaps because the trip to Japan was the longest and furthest official trip, my husband had completely exhausted some of his energy. Yeah, I'm trying to understand that.

Unfortunately, day after day passed, his attitude was still the same. After work, he immediately rested. No more jokes or togetherness that try to be inscribed.

Looking at her lethargic attitude, it obviously made me uneasy. Before he went to Japan, everything was fine. There was a small debate, because I suspected he was back to see his best friend. After my suspicions were broken, we returned to harmony like the previous days.

Even when he was in Japan, there was no sign he would come home with his attitude contaminated with snow. He always reported his activities every day. In a video call, he seemed cheerful to tell the details of the place visited. Whether it's in a hotel room or watching a snow festival in Sapporo.

What is it with my husband? What does this have to do with his job? However, he said his meetings were smooth and successful. Was there someone who made him sad?

Suddenly the sound of the door removed all my expectations.

“Tumben Daddy's coming home this time?” soft ask.

Time showed at 3pm when I opened the door to welcome my husband home from work. As the day before, his face was still not adorned with a smile.

“The work at the office is done. Dad wants a break at home.” He said the sentence while walking towards the room.

I'm glad he came home early. It means we have a lot of time at home. But if he comes home, then just rest, it's the same. Our time is not quality.

“Daddy want to drink coffee all massaged?” I follow him back in his footsteps.

“Nevent gone, Bun. Dad wants to sleep first yes.”

“Iya.”

I dare not ask any more. His face was exhausted, though I don't think it was because of work. No, I don't want to dream. I'm afraid my suppositions are coming true.

I'm trying to calm down. Don't make my husband angry because I'm too paranoid. I decided to go to the kitchen to break up the speculation by preparing for dinner later.

However, in my mind it was like something was hanging. Something I suspected, mixed with excessive fear. I tried to see my husband in the room. He looks so slumbering. He slept in sweaty work clothes. His neck is still hanging around his neck. He just unbuttoned three shirts for body circulation. In fact, he always took a shower and changed his clothes first after work, before deciding to lean on the mattress.

I returned to the kitchen feeling anxious. The change in my husband's attitude made a huge question mark on my brain.

I tried to call Ferdi. Maybe he knows something.

“Hello, Fer. Still working huh? Sorry I interrupted.”

“No, Fay. I'm going home already. What's up?”

“This Fer...I want to ask a little.”

“Many can also kok Fay, as long as do not ask about the school exam aja.”

I don't really want anyone else to know the state of my household. But there was no other way to calm my mind, other than to extract information from people I thought knew and could be trusted.

“I'm serious, Fer. Did you come to Japan yesterday?”

“No, Fay. I told you it was a big boss show. Anyway, you didn't persuade your husband so I'd come anyway.”

“Hehe, sorry.” I'm still awkward to the point.

“How long does it take from that office, Fer?”

“Sunday. Why why?”

“Seven days?”

“Yes, didn't Dave come home? But he's been in the office since he came back from Japan. Don't-don't he...”.

“Fer, don't start yet. I mean it's not that. My husband's attitude since coming home from Japan has been cold. Is it because the project failed or what? He was like an exhausted person, but on one side he was agitated. Bottom line, I think of something heavy.”

“Nah, I also happen to want to ask that anyway. When it comes to projects, I don't think it's Fay. We are busy revisiting the budgeting and initial restructuring process. Mr. President Director even praised the continued performance of your husband.”

“But his attitude is so strange, Fer.”

“That's what I was asking. In the office, his attitude was cold. Every lunch person says it first. Talked, answered as necessary. He always looks the most excited in the office. Sorry Fay, I thought maybe he had another problem at home or something like.”

“It is precisely because I also have no problems with him, so it is surprising to see his attitude so. When he was in Japan, our communication was fine. At first, I thought he was just exhausted. But days are the same, no change. She didn't meet anyone in Japan?”

“Who?”

“Ya...” I can't possibly tell Ferdi the name of my husband's best friend. “Yes, his ex or who is.”

“No way, Fay. It was a work trip. Is there a ex Dave in Japan?”

“Ndon't know either. Or does my husband often have lunch outside? Visited someone or seen frequent phone calls?”

“Not there, Fay. He had lunch in the office cafeteria. No suspicious people came to the office looking for Dave. Continue if about the phone, he if in the office what else works, I forgot if you have hp.”

“Seriously right you, Fer? You're not in a conspiracy with him, are you?”

“Fay, my time is a lie anyway. You know me. Or try Fay, you ask him to fit in again joking. Or look at her phone and laptop. But I'm not sure Dave is playing behind. Time had a wife as beautiful as you she is still snacking outside.”

Ferdi doesn't know about Ken. It was precisely that person that I was deeply worried about back in my husband's life.

“Iya deh Fer, thank you. But you don't...”

“Bun!.” Suddenly my husband called. His position is behind me. “Whose phone is same?” I immediately disconnected my phone with Ferdi.

I don't know when he was behind me. I hope he just came and didn't hear me. We are committed not to tell the family to others outside the family. We agreed that there was a problem to be discussed first, although I've felt our deal was tarnished ever since he lied about Ken.

“Both friends.” I put both hands behind my waist.

“Ferdi?” he nodded with suspicion.

“Feee...Ferdi? It's not. His name is Fera, a high school friend. She called to talk about reunion.”

I have no friend named Fera. I had to lie because I didn't want my husband to interrogate me and Ferdi later.

“Oh... In the refrigerator no food, Bun?”

“There's Pudding, Dad. You want to eat now? But Mother cooknya not done.”

“Later. I just need a hungry hanger.”

My husband ate Pudding voraciously.

“So noon Dad's not hungry.”

For fear of trouble, my husband no longer wants me to make lunch. Nemun, he's never missed his lunch. I was worried and hesitated to see his attitude change.

“Daddy is thinking about what the hell? Since returning from Japan I have been very nervous. Dad's exhausted?”

“Nothing. Mother do not worry too much. Daddy shower first ya!”

He said I shouldn't worry too much, but he wouldn't tell me. Even this time, he very clearly avoided the topic I was proffering. He stopped eating Pudding, but I saw he was enjoying. He must have left because he didn't want to answer my question.

Tomorrow, everything goes as usual. We had breakfast together, and my husband left for work. A million questions remain unanswered. I could have waited for the time to show, but I don't know when. Waiting for an uncertain period will only further hurt your mind and mind.

After waiting for a bit of daylight, I left for the Green Apartment. Where Ken lives. I know, it's working hours, maybe he's not there. I don't want to meet him either. I just want to make sure he's there or not. I was afraid of the receptionist's explanation on the phone back then, part of Ken's game.

Arriving in front of Ken's apartment, I pressed the bell. But what I pressed was not Ken's bell, but in front of him. I intentionally.

Before long the owner of the apartment opened the door. I have prepared a sentence to apologize. Then I asked about Ken. May there be enlightenment.

“Happy day!  Can I help you?”

“Siang! Sorry to bother you. Want to ask, is Ken there?”

“Ken?”

I'm nodding.

“His front room is there,” point to the Mother.

I was almost locked in by the situation. “Oh it, sorry ya Bu.” I'm moving towards Ken's apartment door. Should I press the bell? What if he comes out? I'm lazy to see it.

“But the person is not there,” said the Mother.

Mercifully. I turned around and approached the mother.

“Work yes, Bu?”

“Not. Already moved.”

Moving out? There was a feeling of relief, but it still had to be traced through the information.

“Moving to where yes, Bu”

“He said to Germany. Come on in first, let's just talk inside.” Mother is very friendly. He also seems to know Ken.

We introduced ourselves for a while. I claim to be Ken's friend, while this friendly mother is Selly's mother. Turns out he's a close friend of Ken's father. He had not moved to this apartment for long. Previously, she lived in Beijing following her husband. During his stay abroad, his apartment was rented out. Now she is back in Indonesia with her husband's mutation.

“How long has Ken moved, Bu?”

“About two months. Mother was also shocked when she saw him in the lobby carrying a suitcase. When I asked, he said he wanted to move to Germany. I wanted to stop you first. But, it seems like his decision is already round.”

It's been two months, and to Germany. If I rewind him, then maybe he left after we had a fight on the phone that time. Thankfully, she understood my intention to stay away from my husband. Even though I didn't ask him to leave the country.

“Sorry, if I may know, he told me nothing to do with Germany? How long is it?”

“That's what I don't know for sure. He's a very closed man. That time, he said it might be forever. If there's any business, I don't know either. As far as Mom is concerned, she has no brothers in Germany. A close friend, nothing. I just saw him like he was sad again at the time. Whether her boyfriend left her or something, I don't know. I've never seen anyone else stop by her apartment. Only if it's true she broke up with her boyfriend, pity it. Ken is his good son, handsome, diligent, which is the term woman who does not like to see him. Mother also if still single and young must be chasing him. Hehe…. But yeah that's it, she's a very closed person.”

I can't possibly tell you the truth that me, my husband, and Ken were involved in a triangle conflict.

“Oh so yes, Bu.”

“Indeed Ken did not tell Mbak he again had any problems or why would he go to Germany?”

“I'm here, because I didn't know he had even moved. Emm…. You see I contacted him never responded.”

I was forced to lie again to cover up the real events, and convince Selly's mother that I was Ken's friend. I'm pretty sure Ken left, having been in conflict with my husband too. That time after the dawn war with Ken, my husband left the next morning after I told him. When he came back, he hugged while saying “Don't worry, I just love you”. The mystery began to be solved.

“Iya, because yesterday there was also someone here looking for Ken. He up gedor-gedor door all.”

“Burn?” Suddenly I was not calm.

“Iya. A few days ago anyway.”

“Male or female Bu?”

“Male.”

“How are you kayaking Bu?”

“People are tall, handsome, his hair neat, yes eleven twelve is like Ken is handsome.”

“Wear glasses no Bu?”

“Ngak.”

Not husband. Everywhere I go, my husband wears glasses. Even so, I still have to ask to be more convincing.

“Em, roughly how many days ago was it, what date is it, Mom?

“What date is it?! Night anyway. That time had a chat too, just did not have time to acquaintance.” Selly's mother seemed to think. “That 9th is it?! Yes that date is like.”

The 9th was my husband's 2nd day in Japan, and again the characteristics that Selly's mother mentioned were incompatible with him. Thank goodness! At least I can breathe more easily now.

After feeling that I got an answer, I and Mother Selly chatted about something else, namely about my pregnancy. He gave me a lot of advice so I wouldn't do much hard work and travel far. Also, suggest a good food intake for me and my fetus. The other important thing is that I can't be stressed.

So comfortable talking to Selly's mother, I forgot to go home and have lunch. But when he was about to leave, he forbade me to come home and take me to lunch first. I'm glad to see such a nice Selly mom. My weakness was also answered.

Then, Selly's mother offered to drive me after I told her about coming here by taxi online. She said she was worried that something might happen to me, especially if I was a woman and pregnant. However, I rejected his offer saying nothing would happen. I always pay attention to the suitability of the car I ride, from the license plate to the driver. At the very least, it can ensure online taxis booked one level are safer.

Once home, I couldn't stop developing a smile. Ken has moved to another continent. My feelings are much better.

My husband's cold attitude may be right because he is in a time tired of his work. Not because of his best friend, let alone another woman. From dating, my husband never cheated. He even explicitly said he already had a girlfriend or wife when a woman approached him.

Before going to Japan, my husband had a day's overtime. However, I instead suspect she's playing back with her best friend. Now I feel like I have had a lot of bad thoughts about my husband.

Hopefully tomorrow or the day after tomorrow my husband's face will be bright again. This morning he started to smile a little. Again, I believe his cold attitude must have been due to work. All this time about work he didn't want a story, for fear that I would be overwhelmed.

She always worked hard, even harder when she found out I was pregnant. He tried to give a good life for me, and also our future child. I'm too overstuffed with prejudice. I should have understood my husband better, comforting him when he was overwhelmed.