Winter in Hokkaido
Chapter 28: Shackles

If I had known what was on my husband's mind, I wouldn't have gotten this bad. He could suddenly shut up, then become romantic. However, I know his change of attitude holds the opposite meaning. He was trying to cover something from me.

When did it dissolve in this unease? While every time I asked, he always said there was nothing to hide. I also have no more evidence to express my suspicions. If forced to continue to be discussed, the commotion becomes inevitable. I don't want that.

Arguments in the household are indeed things that can be considered normal. But if there continues to be disharmony, divorce becomes a shadow that continues to haunt. I love my husband very much. It's just that lately, his attitude is showing the opposite direction.

Yesterday, from work to sleep, my husband was busy with his cell phone. Something very unusual I see. Reasons to chat with clients. My mind takes 50:50 to believe.

Tonight, I waited for her to go to bed first so I could check her phone. But he did not sleep. I tried jokingly to have him hand over his phone, but he reasoned that there was something important, namely replying to messages from clients. Upset waiting for him to fall asleep, it makes me the first closed.

Then thirst woke me up. I saw a clock on the wall showing 02:00. It turns out it's still early morning.

I felt my husband's position. He's not in bed. My guess was that he was probably in the bathroom.

I'm going down to the kitchen. While passing through the living room I saw my husband sitting on the sofa holding his laptop. After drinking, I immediately approached.

“What's the father doing?”

“Mother?!!” His expression was so surprised, “I..this again finished the job, there are some proposals that I should correct.”

I know I surprised him. Why did he close his laptop?

“Daddy hasn't slept? It's already 2 am loh.” I tried to remind my husband while hugging him from the side. Like I believed what he said.

“Yes, I want to sleep. Come on, go back to the room,” he said after kissing my forehead.

If he's in overtime at home, why when I go to close his laptop? I was faced with suspicion again. The feeling that made me feel very uncomfortable. I don't want that feeling coming, but I'm not the one who invites.

I followed him into the room with growing suspicion.

“Well, if there is anything you can help, I just say,” I said while trying to pull the laptop my husband is carrying. I was very curious about what he did.

“Iya, Mother.”

My husband swiftly pulled back the laptop that was barely in my grasp. He put it in the bag.

“Yes, Mommy wants to ask something can?” I voiced carefully as our bodies leaned into the bed.

“Iya, of course can.”

“Is there anything Dad is hiding from Mother?”

He kissed me again.

“It's midnight, Bun. Let's go to sleep again! Nothing I'm hiding either.”

“But Yeah..”.

“Delay don't mind too much huh!” he closed his eyes, then closed.

After making sure my husband was completely sound, I carefully picked up his laptop and brought it to the living room. I'm very curious. I want to make sure the laptop only contains work files.

I was immediately jolted when I turned on the laptop. Whahuh? Enter password. My husband is a practical man. He never locked his devices. Since when did he do this?

I tried to enter his date of birth, my date of birth, our wedding date, my full name, all of which no one could unlock his laptop. My blood immediately boiled.

I once read an article that wrote one of the characteristics of the husband has another saving that he spends more time with his salary. He also locked the device with a password that was difficult to identify by his partner.

Then, I searched his phone to make sure the same thing happened or not. All corners of the room I searched, but I couldn't find the phone. I don't know where he keeps it. They often lie next to a sleeping light.

I gave up and waited for my husband to wake up. I've lost my drowsiness.

The next morning, after breakfast, I pretended I wanted to borrow my husband's cell phone. I try to hold back my emotions. If I told you about my investigation last night, he'd be mad at me.

“Yeah, can I borrow his phone?”

“For what, Bun?” He doesn't usually ask.

“Kuota Mommy runs out, want to search for baby equipment.”

“Before, Dad fill up your quota Bunda.” He won't give me his phone.

“Kok Dad don't want to borrow Daddy's phone?” I'm emotionally stirred.

“What the hell is it, Bun? It was said that Mother's quota ran out, unable to browse. Mending all Daddy stuff it, right?”

“Ya done.” I quit and gave up a little.

I went into the room feeling upset. Wanted to vent anger, but was afraid to backfire on my own.

My husband followed me to my room.

“Mother why is it so strange?”

“The weird one is Dad. Mommy wants to borrow your phone just can't.”

“That's why? Yes already Bun, Dad left for work first. Dad's a little late now.”

He just left without kissing me. He forgot the routine he was doing before he left for work. Again and again, I have to endure my own frustration. Until the morning changed, my mood was still cloudy.

How long should I be treated so vaguely?! Sometimes happy, sometimes we have to pretend to be happy. If my husband's attention is divided by work, I can understand. But if it were because there were other people, I would never be willing.

The thing I need to find out again is the person who might be close to my husband. To be honest, I still suspect my husband is close again to Ken. But Aunt Selly said Ken was in Germany, and it was likely that he would not return to Indonesia again. I'm sure Aunt Selly didn't lie. Then, who would shadow my husband if not Ken? I could feel someone sneaking around to steal the attention of my life's lover.

Rather than continue to be mired in speculation, I thought of calling Ferdi instead. At least, he was the one who saw my husband's activities in the office.

“Siang Fer, are you busy? Sorry I interrupted again.”

“Ngga, Fay. This is just for lunch. Want to ask about Dave?”

No wonder Ferdi can guess what I mean. If it wasn't about my husband, I wouldn't have called him.

“Iya. I don't know who Fer should ask. Again, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to involve you in my household.”

“Involving what the hell, Fay? I’m fine, okay.”

“Thank you very much yes Fer before.” Ferdi's the only friend I can confide in right now.

I took a breath for a moment to display my core purpose, “Lately my husband's attitude has been very strange. He password his laptop, even I can't borrow his phone. Before, he wasn't like this. In fact tend not to care too much about his gadget.”

“Maybe he doesn't want his privacy compromised, Fay.”

Privacy? I am his wife.

“What kind of privacy? I am his wife. I'm sure someone else is close to him. I beg Fer, if you know, you tell me. Don't cover up to keep my feelings!”

“Which way, Fay? I'm...”

“Fer, I beg you!” Tears began to rush out.

“Gue really does not know Fay who is close to Dave.”

“You're one office with him. You're pretty familiar with him, too, right? At least to a fellow boyfriend, he might be more open.”

“Iya, but..”.

“Did he often have lunch outside, Fer? Or is there someone who often meets him at the office? Does he seem to be with someone after work? My husband's activity is like that you know, right?”

I may not be able to read my husband's mind. I can't even look at his activities. But I knew my husband, knew all his habits, and was sensitive to his change of attitude.

“Fay, until now I have never seen Dave walk with another woman. No one came to the office looking for him other than the client. Dave never told me about another woman. I swear I'm brave, Fay. My advice, try to ask the same Dave! Sorry, Fay, maybe just pregnant so you're a little paranoid.”

“Already, Fer. I've asked her nicely, but she always says there's nothing she's hiding from me. However, his words were in stark contrast to his words. I wouldn't be like this if he had been..” No. gabe. I can't tell Ferdi my husband and Ken's story. It's already in the disgrace category. Not only the disgrace of my husband, but also the disgrace of my household.

“Whose phone is Fer on? After lunch I wait for you in my room.” Suddenly there was an interruption sound near the mouthpiece of Ferdi's mobile phone microphone.

“Gue close yes phone!” ferdi said as if in a whisper.

I was quite familiar with the voice that made Ferdi rush to hang up. Yes, my husband's voice. Hopefully Ferdi doesn't give my words to my husband.

In my mind, the name that always comes up as the cause of my husband's change of attitude, is only Ken. Although he is abroad, but to meet at any time by phone or video call, right?!

Once again, only Ken has great potential to be close to my husband. My husband doesn't have many ex-lovers. He was just his last ex in college. It was just a one month love. So, there can't be any other name than Ken.

Oh, myGod! I was so afraid my husband was straying.

I checked my husband's office. Then, I rummaged through her wardrobe and all the bags she used to wear to the office. However, there was no clue. It seems like the biggest clue is on his phone.

The clock's like fatigue. Time feels longer. Whatever happens, I'm determined to ask my husband's phone to see the contents of his phone calls and chats.

As I walked up the stairs to my room, I heard the sound of a car parked in front of my house. Thank goodness he came home early. So, the sooner I interrogate him.

“Siang, Yeah. Tumben Dad came home this afternoon?”

He didn't answer my question. Also, my greeting was ignored.

“Dad wants to talk seriously with Mommy!”

He moved towards the middle room. Obviously I followed him.

“What's so serious about getting Dad up to permission to go home early?” I don't want to make any more pleasantries.

“Bun, I've said many times, if there are things you want to ask, ask directly to Dad. Mother does not need to ask or tell others.” Without hesitation, he raised his voice.

So Ferdi was caught calling with me earlier? Or maybe he told my husband? In fact, I always said not to tell my husband when I called him. Men, they are more pro to each other. It is difficult to understand the feelings of women.

“Mother has asked Dad, but Dad's answer did not answer Mother's question at all.” I don't want to impress me with being guilty of this.

“Ask what? What kind of answer?”

Men tend to forget their own words more easily.

“Mother asks, is there anything that I hid from Mother?! Father replied no.”

“Ya means it does not exist.”

“Then why Dad password Daddy laptop and do not want to lend Daddy's mobile phone to Mommy?”

I hope this is the last fight.

“Until you suspect Dad? Until have to check the laptop and spy on mobile phone Dad everything.” My husband can always turn things around like I'm the sassy one.

“Why? Before Dad went to Japan, Dad never bothered about it.”

“Iya, right. But, Dad is also privacy.”

Again, privacy! What is the foundation for fortifying yourself when the scent of infidelity is sniffed? Basic men!

“Hah? Do you know this Mother is Daddy's wife? Now Mother is pregnant with Father's child too. You didn't forget that, did you? Privacy. Can a wife not know her husband's privacy?”

“Everyone has rights over himself, Bun. I also did not forget who Mother was. But Father also has privacy, which although we are husband and wife, the room is not for Mother to touch. Never mind Bun, don't overdo it!”

I'm exaggerating? I don't play drama. I am speaking the contents of my heart and mind. Crying again! When a woman cries, she is struggling to encourage herself.

“Oke, now where's Dad's phone?” I reached out to receive my husband's phone.

“For what?” I've guessed he'll refuse.

“If there is nothing, can Mother see it?”

If he still doesn't want to give it to me, then he's hiding something from me.

With a look in the eye that indicated doubt, he took out his phone from his pants pocket. Then, put it in my hand.

I immediately pressed the power button to turn on the phone screen. “Password what, Yah?” I'm sure he used a password to unlock his phone as well.

He didn't respond when I asked to tell him access to open his phone. He just looked straight at the window, not one bit looking at me.

I tried to guess it, but all the words I had in mind were nothing matching the embedded password. I gave up, and again asked my husband to tell me his password.

“Yeah, what password?” My love gently. Maybe he needs some courtesy in my voice.

Ahaaaakkkk!!!!! My husband took his phone in my hand, then slammed it all his way to the floor. The phone case was destroyed and took out all the components inside until scattered. I didn't think he'd do that. My tears are witnesses to my husband's anger.

“Dad does not like to be suspected of continuing like this,” he asserted in a soft voice.

His tone was low, but I knew there was a great emotion wrapped around him.

“What Dad and Ken actually still meet often?” The ultimate question from me.

He remained silent for about two minutes while bowing his head.

When he raised his head again, his face grew even more lit. Like the newly abandoned fire.

“Why Mother always concerns linking Mother's suspicions with Ken?” Every time I asked her best friend, she couldn't answer me gently. “Ken already settled in Japan!”

Like there was a bullet that just hit my head hearing my husband's words. Ken is not in Germany but in Japan. It is fitting that his attitude and attention change after Japan. Apparently, there he met the bully.

“So Dad to Japan is not for work, but met Ken?”

He was silent once I asked for his clarification. Just scratching the head and massaging the forehead.

“And I believe in you. I believe in all your promises. Why do you always play with words and close my eyes? You prefer your best friend. For her sake, you are willing to fly from Indonesia for hours.” I admit my words have gone out of control, no longer using friendly pronouns.

“Mother see Dad's letter of duty, right? See also the condition of Dad while there? Dad's there on work.” He gave me a sharp look, looking full of anger.

I also have the right to be angry because I have lied to him again. “Iya, I see. It's just how you and that son of a bitch met, it's beyond my sight. Don't-don't you know he's in Japan, right, and you're planning a meeting there?”

If he is unable to answer, then silence means yes.

“No!” He answered loudly, but did not set his eyes on me again.

“Long!”

“Already, until when to fuss about things like this continue. Daddy tired!”

He walked into the room, leaving me. He didn't even notice the tears flowing down my cheeks.

He said he was tired of fussing about things like this. But why keep on lighting the fire that was once extinguished? Am I the one who deliberately provoked his anger? Huh! I am tired of being shackled by his lies.

Why is Ken still shadowing my husband? I really couldn't help but cry questioning that sentence.

Or is it my husband who can not forget it to catch up with Ken who has now settled abroad? Never mind, I don't want to be in their game anymore. This time, I gave up!

I rushed to the room. I saw my husband changing his clothes. Without speaking a word, I pulled the suitcase on the bed. I opened the closet, and then stuffed all my clothes into the suitcase. My husband just looked. It made me even more eager to show that I didn't playfully want to go back to my parents' house again.

But as I dragged my suitcase out of the room, my husband closed the door and locked it. I tried to grab the key from his hand, but he threw it under the bed. I looked at him with emotion, he hugged me.

I also resigned as soon as the decapannya more tightly binding. The warmth that he was flowing did often make me not wrinkled.

Yeah, I love her so much. If I have to without him, I'm not sure I can make the day. However, why does he always give me mystery puzzles?