Winter in Hokkaido
Chapter 4 part 2: Certainty

Although my household situation is getting better, but still I have not been able to move on from the story of my husband's friendship with Ken. I'm still trying to trace my husband's communication with that man. I don't know why I feel like the man is still trying to contact or see my husband. But when I checked on my husband's phone, there was no recent history with that bitch anymore. Recording of conversations and phones saved is only the former. I think my husband intentionally didn't remove it.

Maybe my husband thought that if at any time I held his phone, I would open all the phone call history and chat contents. Ah, that event even though it has passed still engulfs my mind. Women who have been lied to have their minds become more sensitive.

I tried to debunk all prejudice against my husband. However, his sudden change in attitude raised suspicions. There is a fear of romantic attitude because it is covering something. I hope my husband is not involved in the play. Sometimes men are better at acting than women.

I kept trying to close my eyes. Sleep might release thoughts about it. But at 01:00 in the morning, I fell asleep. While my husband was asleep from 22:00.

My husband's phone kept shaking. I think it's a reminder that she's set. But the rhythm is not like an alarm on a cell phone in general. The ringing sounds more like a voice call. Who called so many times? Instantly there was an anxiety that tore the calm. I also grabbed my husband's phone.

I was surprised to see 26 missed calls. I saw the clock on the phone, still at 03:00 in the morning. Who is the unlisted number in my husband's contacts who dared to call this much on a dark day when the majority of people were asleep?!

I was prepared to call back the number and ask him his intention to call my husband many times in the morning. Like there is no other time to disturb the rest comfort of others. It's like it won't be noon and my husband won't wake up. What's the most important business with my husband and who exactly is calling? I became furious.

As I was about to press the dial button, the caller first contacted me again. I kept quiet with the intention of trying to recognize who was calling, man or woman, and let him convey the need, after which I would advise.

“Hello…. You finally lifted up too. Sorry, I called you this early.” Sounds like I'm crying.

But the voice of men. Wh who? That guy? I tried to be quiet so that the voice on the other end of the phone kept talking so I could recognize who he really was.

“Some nights I can't sleep. I always remember you, think of you. When you asked me not to meet you and call you again, I tried hard. I'll fill it all up if it makes you happy. But, I just kept thinking about your attitude that suddenly changed.” Doesn't it feel disgusted to hear such babbling from a man to a fellow man.

My emotions are melting away. I wanted to scold her immediately, but I held it for a while while walking out of the room. I stepped carefully so that my husband would not wake up. I also prepared in a high tone to chimed in the man's words.

Meanwhile, the man continued to babble like asking for mercy. “I don't hate your wife, but why she hates me so much. Do you remember when you promised to be my best friend forever? Even after marriage, you said you would always be there for me. But apparently, your wife managed to keep us away. Destroying a friendship that has been so long established. Even now you don't care anymore how and why. You left me when I needed you.”

I felt a groan of sadness from his tone. It's just that this isn't normal. He revealed it to my husband. Very disgusting and embarrassing. He even said I was ruining his friendship. I can no longer be patient.

“Can you not interfere in the happiness of your best friend anymore? As a friend, you should be happy to see your best friend happier with his new life. Everyone has the right to choose who to spend the rest of their lives with. When the choice was made, why did you try to disturb the peace of our lives? Are you really his best friend? Only if you're really his best friend, you shouldn't have to call so early just to vilify your best friend's wife”. While he was listening, because I myself tried not to give distance between words so that he could not interrupt.

“Where's your husband?” voice rising.

“My husband is on break,” reply.

“Where's your husband?” His voice was even more screaming.

“What's so hard for you to hear and understand what I'm saying.” This time I tried not to shout. I was afraid my husband would wake up to hear my voice.

“I have no business with you. Whatever you say and accuse me, I just want to talk to your husband.” He's getting a little shitty.

“So you have a heart with my husband?”

“Yes, I love her. Clear?” I was shocked to hear his answer. I want to tear his mouth if he's in front of me. How dare he say that.

“What kind of friend are you? Using friendship to hold someone back. Use the term friend only to be always close without suspicion. From the beginning of seeing you, I've been suspicious.” I tried hard to defend that man. My heart actually screamed at her every word so that no tears began to flow.

“I don't care if you want to say anything. This is your husband's phone. So please give it to your husband, because I want to talk to him not with you.” He could have told in a bluffing tone.

“I am his wife, then I have the right to determine not to give this call to him.”

I'll just turn off the phone. If I keep hearing his chatter, I could just die standing up. I blocked his number, because I'm sure he'll keep calling even if he knows my husband's phone is on me. That guy has no shame.

One side, I want to wake my husband up and beat him. But that guy sucks. He who pursues my husband, on behalf of a friend only to be always with my husband. My blood was made to boil by the man with the mask of false friendship.

I thought the greatest temptation in my marriage would come from the many women who approached and tried to seduce my husband. My husband is good to everyone. It sweetens his handsome, dashing, tall, athletic, and pure white look. He also always polishes himself quite fashionable. The use of glasses also creates the impression of intelligent and harmonious appearance. I fell in love when I first saw her. For almost half a year I tried to recognize him by sight, but he did not respond. I was less aggressive. Because women are supposed to be chased, right?! Not the first to chase men.

Until one day he approached me when I was tired of attracting his attention. Like a dream come true, she asked me out on a date. In the duration of the 4-month approach, he proposed to me. I felt like I was the happiest woman at the time.

After I got married, I quit my job. My husband asked me to focus on the house while I was on a pregnancy program. Office rules also do not allow any employees who are married or blood, because it is feared that there will be an uncompetitive work pattern and nepotism.

When my husband said he'd been expecting me since I first met him, I thought he was a grumpy. If so, why not say it from the beginning. He said he waited for me first to show signs of attraction to him. I told you he was too innocent.. I'm a woman. Although times have changed a lot, gender equality has become a common issue, but saying likes first to men, for me is still taboo.

Luckily, God predestined us to be bound in marriage. For three days I cried happily after marriage. There is a sense of disbelief that God gave this miracle. Gave me a coveted soul mate. With his looks, his good looks, my husband never tried to share his love charms with other women. He just gave it to me. But about that guy?

Instead a man tried to enter this household and tried to control my husband. The man with the shield attached the story of the past.

I could only sit in silence while tightly grasping my husband's phone. Tears are flowing unbearably. I don't feel the sun starting to rise. The feeling of annoyance, sadness, and disappointment is getting smoldering. There was a wound that returned to the heart.

Then, my husband came down the stairs. I won't welcome him. I let him come to me and ask him for an explanation on the veil of dawn.

“You haven't cooked yet? Misadventures? We will have breakfast outside. It has not been breakfast outside for a long time, ” he said, caressing my body from behind.

I was silent, holding back the anger. I tried to be completely annoyed at that man alone. My husband also has to take responsibility. He could not resolutely give understanding to his friend until the incident continued so far. The light of happiness just came back.

“You're sick again?” Then he opened the window. Perhaps to more clearly see my face with the help of the morning sun. “You crying? Why?” She did look worried when she saw my face filled with tears.

I take a deep breath. Then, he grabbed my head and leaned against his chest.

“What's up? What happened so early that you cried?”

I felt a little calm from his embrace. However, I want to make it clear. I don't want anyone else trying to sneak up on me to take this.

“Sit Mas!” I'm ready to chirp.

Just a few seconds into the recording, he already looked shocked. “What does this mean?”

“Please don't say or ask anything first. Just listen until it's over!” My love rubbed the remaining tears that were still stuck in both corners of the eyes.

When the rant was heard on the tape, my husband seemed to want to make a sound. While I continued to signal silence through the eyes of him.

I thought about recording a conversation on the phone with the man as the “halo” greeting voice began to remind me of my rival. If he later complained to my husband, there was authentic evidence explaining the words I said to him.

The recording was heard by my husband. Then, my receding tears again urged to come out.

“Why didn't you wake up Mas and give the phone to Mas?” he asked, who seemed to be getting angry.

I didn't expect the first sentence to come out after listening to the tape like that. I was impressed wrong.

“Oh, so Mas is angry because I answered the call from Mas's affair? How many mornings did he call when I fell asleep?” I was carried away by emotions.

“It's not so, Fay. I mean..” My husband tried to deny.

“Perhaps if this is not the case, I will still continue to be deceived by you guys. Mas who confidently will not be related to the man again, now why get angry when I answer the call? I believe in you so much, Mas.” My words made him fall down. He was seen massaging his forehead with his right hand.

Then, he hugged me like that. He also rubbed my hair as a sedative. As if he knew that my head needed to be cooled.

I couldn't refuse his embrace despite being angry. His embrace never fails to melt little by little resentment and anger.

“I mean Mas, let Mas serve him. I don't want you to be like this. I don't like to see you cry. Not because of anything else”, he said in a peaceful voice. It turned out pretty quickly the fire in his head went out.

“Mas, once again I do not forbid you from being friends with anyone. But am I wrong to prevent you from being taken by someone else?”

“Mas does not blame you. After all, no one is trying to snatch Mas from you.”

“No?” I was upset to hear my husband's statement. “Then what about the man? Here you go, please explain and answer honestly! What was Mas's relationship with the man before Mas knew me or before Mas married me?” I let go of his embrace while asking that.

“We're just friends. Just friends. Not more. Not what you think. Maybe he's like this, because he needs friends. But Mas hasn't been in contact with him since Mas told you that promise, Fay.”

I feel that my husband's explanation was a defense for the man. How hard is it to tell the truth?! Still let the situation go wild again.

“Why is it so hard for Mas to tell the truth in this section? If only friends, if Mas does not respond to his feelings first, if you do not have a relationship outside of friendship, why is he so aggressive?”

I got out of my seat and ran up the stairs to the bed. It doesn't really make any sense to me.

“Fay, wait Fay!” he screamed while trying to chase. But I am determined not to pay attention to it.

I dropped the body on the bed. I hugged the bolster, I also pulled the blanket to cover all parts of my body. So painful. The pain I didn't think it would be like this. A pain that does not bleed.

“Fay, listen to Mas first!” My husband kept saying those words. I'm getting close to covering both ears. I was afraid of the words he was going to say. I don't want to hear him defend that guy all the time.

“Fay, try saying what Mas should do now!”

I set my breath for a moment. Then, I looked at her always charming face. Hopefully this time he can really hold onto his statement. “I want this to never happen again if indeed Mas really choose me.”

“Fay, don't say such a thing keep going!”

“Why?” My husband became such a bitch and continued to fuel my emotions.

“Mas is tired of hearing that phrase. Does what I do not show you how much I love you? If you had Mas choose between you and Ken, Mas couldn't, because you were in a different position. But if you ask Mas no longer related to Ken, Mas has tried to do that.”

Again, my husband always gives diplomatic answers. Just mentioning me or him is so hard.

“OK, I fixed the redaction of the question. Can you choose him or us?”

“We?” My husband looked very surprised when I said that word.

“Yes, me and our baby-to-be in my stomach”, I explained. “So choose who?”

“You pregnant?” ask her to gently convince.

“Yes. I knew I was a few weeks late. Yesterday I tried to see a doctor, the results were positive. But I did not tell Mas, because last night Mas looked exhausted. After dinner, I was busy with my laptop and went to bed. I think it's quite fitting if I give you a surprise this morning. Unfortunately, it was me who was given a surprise first.”

“You're serious?” My husband looks in disbelief.

“Why? Do I seem to be lying so you can be more sure about choosing me?” I'm not that guy who used a grief shield to gain my husband's sympathy.

He then hugged me tightly. Smell my forehead and stomach. I couldn't stop her touch of love, even though she was angry with him. However, the fetus that I bear is the fruit of our love.

After feeling satisfied to kiss the prospective baby in my stomach, he then stood up like he was preparing to go somewhere. Work it? It is impossible with such sleeping clothes. Must've met the guy.

“Mas as if preparing, where are you going?” my many.

“Mas go for a minute. You wait here! Mas has promised there will be no more disturbing the peace of our household,” he replied steadily. With hasty footsteps.

I could only keep quiet, obey, and believe his words. Before leaving, he kissed my lips long enough. Looks like he's trying to convince her that her words aren't just a series of words without action.