Baby Twins CEO's
Oh God, I'm sincere

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POV Anellis

I opened the door of my house that was previously closed, as soon as the cold air peeked into the sidelines of my skin pores, even though the sun had perched on his contest, but in fact the cold still felt so bone-piercing.

This is where I am today, in a village far from the hustle and bustle of urban density, a small village surrounded by a range of tea plantations that stretch across the eye.

Then, what about my residence in the city?

Right, I sold him. More precisely forced to sell it. Even my favorite motorcycle I can no longer have.

I felt heavy when I had to choose a way of life that I had never imagined before, a simple dream that I had carved before, now vanished already.

Not grandiosely want me, not high in my dreams, just get a decent job and be able to make my mother happy, that's my ambition.

Want me to blame fate, want me to be angry at the Khaliq, want me to curse at will. But my mind is still sane, and unlike that, the way life works, the wheels keep turning, sometimes up, sometimes down.

And now it is time for me to be under a slump, blaming fate for nothing, swearing at the Khaliq even more. I do not want to increase sin, my sin is too mountainous, I do not want to increase despicable, I do not want to increase despicable before the Khaliq who is full of perfection.

At least I want to be solid, to meet my God, is my greatest desire.

I reopen my memories, go back in time, when adversity begins to strike my heart.

Yeah, that day. The day that the man so boldly insulted my two children. Pain is not playing, my heart is like being scratched by a sharp sword that is incessantly wielding sharp, thousands of daggers even stuck there, the old wound re-opened wide, the pain and pain were fused into one.

My tears were unceasingly breaking out, wanting to hold back but unable, I was angry, the tightness in my chest was getting more and more over, my heart throbbed more and more when the man did not know himself to use the term illegitimate child for both of my children.

I wanted to beat the man up, wake him from his long slumber, drag him to the memories of the past, as he carved out sin along with my helpless self.

But I did it would be in vain, the man was too insistent, his heart was petrified, even harder so that the water would not be able to soften it. That arrogant nature has blindly made him blind to the truth, I strongly condemn him, may I never return to meet him. My prayer is sincere as it is.

After my departure from the hospital, I took my children back to my home that I had left for a week.

On the way, I tried to neutralize my emotions that still plumbed into my heart, as hard as I tried not to cry or look sad, I thought of my two children, she said, I don't want to make both of them feel sad let alone worry about me, especially my son.

I know very well that my son is no longer a child who can be lied to, he has grown up before his time, whether I should be grateful or even sad, but for sure, I will no longer be able to hide my feelings in front of him.

And sure enough, what I had been afraid of was actually happening, my son sobbed, even crying in front of me. I never found him crying that hard, because I knew my son was a tough guy, a strong guy, even more than me.

But now different, my son now shows his true form, he is still a little boy who wants to cry in his mother's arms.

My son cried as much as he could, he felt guilty, many times he apologized to me, I endured my cries, I just wanted to calm him down, I didn't want to add weight to his heart.

But no matter how hard I couldn't, my tears fell unstoppable, my heart throbbing in pain as I looked at my guilty son's face.

Not my son, it's not your fault. It's mommy's fault baby.it's mommy's wrong for bringing you to that man without my heart. Forgive mommy dear...

I grabbed the little body, cried as much as I could, I could no longer endure all the tightness in my heart, the pain was throbbing more and more.

It's not your fault, son.

Sufficiently

Just get here, I'll get up, I'll start all over again, I'll rebuild my little family, bring happiness to my two children.

I went back to my daily routine, becoming a mother and a breadwinner father for both of my children.

I thought my normal life would go back to what it was, but in fact my estimate was wrong, the money I was selling the motorbike would have been enough to pay my debt to him, now it's not enough, it won't even pay a quarter.

I am haunted by the debt I have to pay, I do not want to owe the heartless man, I do not want my simple life to be kicked out of him at any time because of past debts.

I turned my brain around, looking for valuables I might be able to sell or pawn. But the goddess of fortune seemed to be on my side, not even gold I had, no more precious things, other than...

My home.

Do I have to sell it?

I stared at the simple house left by my parents, is it really what I think right now, is it true that my decision to sell it is the right thing?

I mused, honestly it's not easy, I'm stuck in two stifling situations, between memories and the future.

I don't want to lose that house full of memories, it's the only one that's in my memory with my mother's father, it's the only one that bears a silent witness to my struggle. However, on the other hand, I do not want to have past debts that might damage my future, or even damage the future of my two children.

I'm racking my brains.

No, I can't be selfish. I don't want to make both of my children miserable just because of my selfishness that doesn't want to lose memories with my parents.

With a heavy heart, I let go of the house, I let go of those beautiful memories along with the tears that burst from my eyes.

By sincere, I let go of everything, let God keep that memory in my heart, let God keep my heart stronger in the face of life.

Once again I open my heart.

Oh God, I'm sincere...

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Annyeong Chingu

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