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CHAPTER 25

Fairro's hand shook as he opened the old diary page by page. With the faint illumination of moonlight – faint, Fairro tried to read the contents of the book.

My Diary, honey,

No one understands my world.

I never understood it myself either

I walk in maya

Precede death

Precede for doaka

That night, on that wicked night, I was seven years old, but until now, until I was thirteen, I can still remember every detail of the incident like a nightmare that keeps turning – turn inside my head. I can never forget the moment I woke up from sleep and peeked out from behind the curtains, my eyes dazzled with flashes of – machete flashes swinging there – to and fro destroying the door of our wooden house. A large group of people lunged in.

“Where is the son of the devil? Where?” yelled one of them. I was scared, because they must have meant me. Because the previous afternoon they weren't happy I said that all the chickens – their pet chickens would die. And that chicken – did die a few hours after I told them. Chicken – that chicken will indeed die, I know. But they don't know. And they think I'm the one who made – chickens die. It's a good thing my dad defended me so they didn't beat me that afternoon. But it turned out they were still vengeful and came looking for me again.

On that wicked night I saw my father standing behind a closet, looking at me. His eyes seemed to signal me to remain silent in the curtain where I peeked.But I shivered to see father, inexplicably arrived – arrived I shivered. My body felt freezing cold when I saw another figure standing behind my father. Oh naw...That's...The Angel of Death...To...Why did he come at – this time? Wh why?

“Ayaah!! Let me hug dad!” I ran, and ran towards my father, as if it was so hard for me to reach him. “I'll miss you so much...But Dad will be quiet in nature there.”.

“Nayla?? Jangaan..” Dad's surprised.

Flashes - flash machete machete snatching – photos around me. Blood spurt through my face. I saw Dad know – already sprawled blood between the legs – their legs. I screamed like – when they held my legs and hands.

“Jangaaan!!! Noaaakkk!!”

BRAAK!! BRUUUK!!

Arrived – just arrived – people of large stature that soared high into the air before slamming into the wooden floor of my house. They're swooning.

I saw mom running – run with people – village people into the house. Mom embraces me who is still screaming – hysterical screams.

“Nayla...Nayla...” cried my mother. I still scream – screeching though I know it to be my last scream.

Fairro agitatedly turned – behind the pages of the diary in a hasty manner. The writing of – posts on the page of the book was already a lot of illegible because it was wet. Fairro's hand stopped turning the pages of the book, as his eyes caught the lines of sentences still intact.

My Diary, honey,

Today is my seventeenth birthday. Four years in my sunyiku world. My body is full of scars – because – villagers always throw me and beat me because they accuse me of being the cause of death – deaths in my village.

Yesterday I came to the house of my neighbor Goddess Mother and told her that Kiki, the daughter of Dewi's mother, was going to die. They kicked me out and got angry – got mad at me.

I don't understand why they're angry. I just wanted to help tell them so they wouldn't be surprised if Kiki was really – dead. I don't know why either, but it's like something's moving so I feel that telling them is a must. Today when Kiki died, they accused me of killing Kiki. Though I saw it was the angel of death that came to take Kiki's life, not mine. But they whipped me with horse whips until I fainted.

Fairro shuddered to read the story in the diary, as if exposed in his eyes the greatness of the figure of Nayla, his mother, continued his story...

The rain fell very heavily this afternoon, but my feet did not stop to continue walking up to the rock – the precipitous stone. There's no point in me living if my – people hate me.

“Mute girl Wizard...Mute girl Magician..” as soon as they call me. And I was powerless to protect me. You can only cry and cry. Poor mom.

“Nayla...Nayla's...Why son? Why is your fate so poor?” crying mom. “You know you are different from others...Like grandma...You have supernatural powers...But why is only your fate so awful? Why?”

Oh my God, maybe my fate is terrible and shit. Maybe I am indeed the damned child of the bringer of death!! I groaned in despair.

The stones are so slippery and steep. In front of him the abyss was so deep that it seemed to be waiting for me. Let me fall and die down there.

I closed my eyes, spread my hand wide – wide sideways. Lord, take my life! Lightning struck the moment I jumped down. But weird! I don't feel like I'm crashing anywhere! My body kind of floated slowly and then my – foot feet felt the ground again.

“You are too pretty to crash down there..” a soft voice sounded in front of me.

I was shocked and opened my eyes. A pair of crystal clear – ash eyes were looking at me worriedly.

“Eh...L'm...Indra...You who? And why are you acting so determinedly like that?” ask the – ashes eye ash that was to me. I just looked down and didn't dare look at him. Si...Who her? She's definitely not one of the people in my village because I've never seen her before. Why did he save me and not let me die down there?

“I know people – people this village do not understand your advantages..” si mata abu – ash it continues to talk. He held onto my two arms tightly – tightly when I rebelled unhappily as my intention of jumping into the abyss had been thwarted by him. 

“I know they hate you...But this is not how to solve all the problems..” said the – ash eye ash it again.

My Diary, honey,

I don't know but arrived – arrived I felt deep peace when Indra, the Eye of ashes – the ashes were beside me. Charming senses, cheerful senses. It felt like all my troubles and suffering were gone with him.

“Your excess is a worthless gift from the Creator...You should be grateful to be the one chosen to have it.” Indra said. The ash eye – the ashes know I want to refute it even though I can't say – words.

“Nayla sweet...Happiness is always there where – where as long as you want really – really feel it...Thought about...Try...” Indra continued while closing his eyes as if – was breathing the air around him. “Trust...Try to feel how amazing you can know the death of a human or an animal...God has always kept his secret to death...But you were given permission by Him to know...Isn't that something amazing??”

I just gaped at hearing the word – said Indra. No one has ever said that knowing death is amazing. Everyone always says that excess is something terrible and full of misfortune. But Indra just said another. Oh really is that? Or Indra just to cheer me up?

My Diary, honey,

Indra...Indra...Today he took me to a beautiful garden. I've never seen a park like that. Full of flowers – flowers of various shapes as fragrant invite us to pluck them...Shady and green trees cool the eyes...The pool water is so clear gently rippling makes fish – peaceful fish swim in it...Oh, I don't know where the garden really is...Because it feels around my village there has never been a garden as beautiful and beautiful as this season. This...It's like heaven...

Indra taught me to dance. To enjoy life, he said. She then danced – nari in front of me while humming a cheerful song. I pulled my hand to dance with her. We danced – nari a long time ago, rotating – swivel, facing – forward, jumping there – here. Ah, Indra's...Indra...Doesn't it know you? You were so funny, so cheerful, made me forget about my suffering. If I could laugh, I would be laughing happily right now.

My Diary, honey,

Charming handsome Indra, who has gray eyes – clear ash like a god – gods in fairy tales, cheerful Indra, Indra who always entertains me and loves me, drives away my loneliness, and, I defended myself when I was scared and in pain.

Sometimes we just stare at each other between our breaths without a word – words. But I knew we could feel each other. Feeling our burning love, feeling our turbulent desires. I cried in Indra's arms. I cried as our bodies fused together. But I'm happy. Even if the sin has been broken. I happy.

“I love you so much, Nayla is beautiful..” whispered Indra ditelingaku. “One day I will take you to my palace and we will get married officially there..”.

The palace? I'm just afraid I don't really understand the word – he said.

My Diary, honey,

My mother panicked when she saw my stomach growing bigger and bigger.

“Nayla, you're pregnant!!” yelled mother hysterically. “Who did it?! Who, Nayla?? Who??!! Tell mom!!”

I stroked my stomach, while writing ‘Indra’ on a piece of paper. Yes Indra, Indra did it. But I'm willing, I'm happy, because Indra is my love, my dear, I gave up my whole life to her.

“Who is Indra?” mother asked. “Why don't you ever see it?”

I was just surprised to hear Mom's question. Never seen it? Impossible! Indra always drove me home to the front of my fence. It's impossible you never saw her!!

“Nayla?” arrived – arrived heard Indra's voice in front of the door. Ah Indra, fortunately he came at the right time. I pulled – narik mom to look towards the door. It's Indra, mom! It's Indra!!

“What's Nayla?? Why are you pointing at the door? No one – who's there!” my mother said it surprised me.

Ti's...No who – who?? Ta's...But obviously – clearly Indra is standing there...Why don't you see Indra?? Arrived – arrived I creeped. I saw Indra still standing at the door and smiling at me as mom walked past. The drops of sweat that drenched my face poured down on my eyes, blurring my eyes, blurring everything ....Everything was...The dark...So dark, everything arrived – suddenly went dark..

My Diary, honey,

Ever since my –-year-old knew I was pregnant with no idea who my baby's father was, my fate had gotten worse. That day they were about to kill me, fortunately the crying mother rested on their feet, making them cancel her intentions. But instead they put me in. They see me as a bad disgrace that defames my village.

Every day mom – mom sneers at me as they pass by me, there's even throwing rotten eggs at me. Child – little boy yells at me ‘Crazy man! Crazy people!’ My fathers spit in my face. And my mom could only cry and cry watching all that.

But I can't afford to think about it all. In my mind there are only a thousand questions about Indra. Arrived – just arrived I feel very scared with Indra. Why can't anyone see my senses? Wh why? Many times – times Indra tried to explain to me, but I still could not understand the story. Indra says there is not only one world, there is another world besides here. A world that also has a life like mine, but a little different. Similar but there is something else. I just stared at Indra in disbelief. Which world is it? What world?

“No, Nayla, no! I'm not a ghost.” Indra is like knowing my thoughts. “I'm like you too, only I live in another world...Well...Humans – humans like you always call us a lost society. We exist but we cannot be seen by just anyone. Only – people who have advantages like you can see us...So you understand why your mother and the – people in your village can't see me?”

My Diary, honey,

I don't know, ever since I got pregnant, ever since I was shackled, as if some evil force had always enveloped my village. I don't know what, but I feel it. Because death – death more and more haunts around me. Strange deaths are sometimes terrible. Even my mother said, my village began to like being visited by creatures – strange creatures that are not known where it came from. People – village people are scared and think the creature – creature came from me. But to my astonishment, Indra looked even more strange, she gave me a necklace with a Pentagram bobble, forcing me to wear it. And every night Indra always sat curled up beside me. He told me to take care of me and the baby in my stomach, but I couldn't believe it.

Until one day, Indra came to visit me with a blue face like someone had just slapped her hard – hard.

“Don't mind me!” indra. “But we have to get out of here, this place is no longer safe for you and your baby.”.

I just look at him not understand, not safe how? But Indra seemed to rush open my chain and invite me to run away from the village.  

I did not have time to bring what – except this diary, a diary that always accompanied me during the insertion. At the end of my village, I was waiting for a girl with a fancy looking car. It seems that girl is a city person. I looked at the girl. Who her? She was so beautiful, doll-like, her long hair sheen, bangs almost covered her eyes that were shaped like Almond nuts, making her face look very oriental. And hmm...Her perfume...So fragrant like a jasmine flower.

“Nayla, this is Tsako...He's my best friend...He is also a human like you, a human who has supernatural advantages.” Indra seemed to answer all my suspicions to the woman. “ Tsako will help us...For a while we will stay at his house.”.

Indra told me to get in Tsako's car. And let Tsako take me away, far away, out of nowhere, which is obviously far away from my village. Maybe to the city.

Until that part, Fairro could not concentrate anymore on reading the diary because the delicate creature woman who had been reading the book, crying very hard, as if wanting to tear down the wall of the stone well. Fairro raised his face, frowning at the woman.

“I know...I know Indra your father has made a very fatal mistake...I know...Indra and Nayla have already done that damned wedding! I know..” the cry of the delicate creature woman is lewd. “But I also know how holy their love is..”.

“Per...Cursed wedding?” Fairro was confused to hear it.

“Yes...You know your mother, Nayla is an ordinary human being, while your father Indra, is a prince of the supernatural world! Lost world of society, world of creatures – subtle creatures. If they marry and have children, in this case you, then the child born is a mixture of the two worlds. Child – that child will not be perfect...The human blood that flows in your body will always be dry absorbed by the fire that nourishes the part of the subtle creatures that are on you. Now you know why you are always in pain whenever the fire overwhelms your human blood, and to stop the fire and restore your human blood flow system, you must suck fresh blood. Your brother Anggra is not as strong as you, the fire is more dominant in him, his human blood flow system can only return to normal for a few moments, just a few moments, therefore he can only be real as a human being at a certain – hours, in this case at two in the morning until dawn.” the woman explained at length.

Fairro rubbed his hair with trembling hands. His body that was curled up in the water as if it was no longer able to withstand the burden that was stifling his thoughts and feelings at that time. The young man seemed to be suffering greatly, he found it hard to believe what he had just heard from the delicate creature woman.

“But on the contrary, you also need fire to live the part of the subtle creatures that exist in your body...Therefore Anggra is more dominant fire, automatically he is the one who is always looking for a place for – people to perform mystical rituals, such as Jelangkung games, spirit worship or what, or, in order to restore the power of fire in the body of both of you...You know, for delicate creatures like us, ritual – mystical rituals performed by humans – humans who believe in our existence will increase our strength.” continued the woman. “It is complicated for you, but that is the result of the mixing that happened as a result of the cursed marriage!”

“Ja...So I'm...I and Anggra are a mixture of humans and subtle creatures? And that causes the strangeness of – weirdness that happened to me and Angra all this time...Blood dependence disease...All the...All because of that damned wedding?” fairro's voice seemed choked when he said that, the gondrong closed his eyes because he felt his head arrived – arrived throbbing – unbearable pain beats. ”Ta...But why can't Angra suck her own blood? Why go through me?”

“I told you earlier...Your brother is not as strong as you if in the human world.” said the woman. “Even at the time of his birth, he almost died because he was not strong enough to receive sunlight...Good thing I quickly closed all home window blinds..”.

“Lo?” Fairro opened his eyes again.

“Yah's...L am...Ka's...Because I was the witness of the birth of you both.” the woman looked at Fairro in her tears.“Because I am Tsako..”.

“Lo?...Tsako?...Ta's...But why do you...Now..”

The delicate creature woman who turned out to be Tsako stroked Fairro's hair, looking at Fairro with a look that made Fairro shudder.

“The story is long..”