Creative Novels (Nov novel Collection)
As If Only

Part I

One day I met someone I didn't know. “Oh, forgive me,” my spontaneous reaction. It also says: “I'm sorry too.” That man and I were very polite. We parted and said hello.

But the story was so different, once we got home. That very day, when I was on the phone with one of my best colleagues, with very soft and polite language to reach out to the sympathy of my colleague, arrived2 My son was standing quietly behind me. When I turn around,

almost made him fall. "Surge!!! Play there, just interrupt!!!" I shouted furiously. He left with a broken and sad heart.

As I lay in bed that night, the Lord softly whispered, "I'll have an angel take your life and take your life now, but before, I'll let you see the passage of time after your death. When you deal with people you don't know, your politeness ethic is used. But with your beloved child, you will be treated with care, I will give you a look after your death today, how your boss, your colleagues, your mayhem friends, and your family"

Then I saw, that day when my body was still placed in the family room, only one friend of the world mayaku who came, the rest just pray through the group, the group, even if there is no comment whatsoever on my departure, and some only write 3 short letters, 'RIP'.

Then my friends in the office, almost all came, a moment saw my body, then they were cool with photos and chatting, even some were cool to talk about my disgrace with a smile. The boss I respect, just came in for a second, saw my body in a matter of minutes straight home. And my colleagues, none of them I saw.

Then I saw my children crying in my wife's lap, the little one trying to reach my body2 asked me to wake up, but my wife was against it. My wife passed out many times, I never saw her that you know. Then I remembered how often I ignored his calls that invited me to chat, I was always busy with my phone, with colleagues2 and friends2 world my wish, then I saw my son2.. I often cry and yell at them when I'm cool with my phone, when they make a fuss asking me to be with them. Oh Oh Oh God.. Ii'm sorry.

then I saw seven days since my death, my friends had forgotten me, until this moment I did not hear I get their prayers for me, the company had replaced me with another employee, he said, friends of cyberspace is still busy with jokes2 in groups, with no one to talk to me or grieve about my absence in their group.

However, I saw my wife still pale and crying, her tears always dripping when my son2 asked where their papah was? I saw her so soft and pale, where is your passion my wife?

Oh, God, I'm sorry..

Day 40 since I died.

My FB friends disappeared drastically, all broke my friendship, as if they no longer wanted to see my memories during life, my boss, my friend2 work, no one visited me the cemetery or just sent a prayer.

Then I saw my family, my wife could smile, but her gaze was still empty, anak2 was still noisily asking when her papa came home, the smallest one I loved the most, still waiting for me in the window, waiting for me to come.

Then 15 years passed.

I saw my wife preparing food for my son2, had started to look like old and tired strokes on her face, she never forgot to remind son2 that this is Friday, do not forget the fertility of papah, do not forget to pray every prayer, do not forget to pray every prayer, and then I read a piece of paper that belonged to my daughter that night, she wrote.. "If only I had papah, surely there would be no man2 who dared to be disrespectful to me, I would not see mamah sick2an make a living alone for us, oh God.. Why did you take my papah, I need my papah O Allah.." the paper was wet, it must be because of the tears..

Oh Allah forgive me..

Until 2 anak2 and my wife still pray after prayer, so that I am always happy there.

Then, instantly, I woke up.. And fell off the couch.. O Allah Almighty.. It turns out I was just dreaming..

I slowly went to my son's room and knelt by his bed, still I saw tears in the corner of his eyes, pity, too tight I rebuked them..

“My son, papah is very sorry for being rude to you.“My little one woke up and said, “Oh papah, it's okay. I still love you.”

“My son, I love you too. I really love you, I'm sorry my son” And I hugged my son. Kuciumi his cheeks and forehead.

Then I saw my wife asleep, my wife whose greeting I often ignored, her invitation to talk often I deliberately pretend 2 did not hear it, even message 2 of her often I consider meaningless, forgive me my wife, forgive me.

My tears can't be so hard anymore.

Do we realize that if we die tomorrow morning, the company we work for will easily find our replacement in a matter of days? Teman2 will forget us as a story that is over, some still tell a disgrace2 that we accidentally do. Teman2 cyberspace never discuss again as if, I never fill their hari2 as clowns in the group.

I turn off my phone and I close my eyes, sorry.. It is not you who will take me to heaven, it is not you who will help me from the fires of hell, but this is it.. My family's..

the family that if we leave will feel lost once

Part II

__Andai Saja__

I looked closely at his face.he fell asleep, maybe too tired his body was working this afternoon.Supporting us both to make a living.Suddenly my phone rang.

"udh?"

I sighed, but this one smile I couldn't stand. My mind floated, far back. 10 years ago. in high school. It's true people say, ''' 'cause I know, high School is the most beautiful time.

Ah, if only you and I were still together.if the quarrel had never existed.if you had understood my condition at that time.if you had not avoided when aq approached. if only you hadn't disappeared in a time of need.just a word" if only" that I had now.

hating you for not being with me when I really need your reassurance.If you're with me when everyone asks and urges, "married". and when all the dilemmas I have, you're with me, he was here to make sure to my parents that he deserved to be a priest and in charge of my whole life.What else would he say? just the word "yes, aq willing" that's all I have. on appeal must continue to wait for the beetle that somehow he flew, while the flowers are blooming.

the life I lived after the marriage was nothing less. she deserved. Patiently she led me to have the nature of maturity.but do you know, my heart seemed to whisper rejection.if only she was you. and as often as I dismiss the whisper, as often as our faces and memories are imagined.

and now, after all these years you have no news, after I have been slightly forgotten, you come again with the news.Sometimes little hearts say, you bring a fresh breeze to all the waiting and hope. but then I realized, you were just carrying a sandstorm that would tear apart the garden of the heart is still full of worries.do you not know, I am now at the level of marriage?

unthinkable, what would happen if I chose to leave this relationship. would I still be respected ? will I still be appreciated?

do I still have my flattery ?

I don't know !

my daydream jolts.a message from you comes back. "i miss"

do you know, this message of yours really mixes up the feelings of my heart.how unstoppable is the happiness in this heart.but on the other hand, as if there is rebellion.Why is it now? if only from the first time you said it, I would not agree to his request, and we would be happy together, without any sense of dilemma because of the dissatisfaction of destiny as I have..

I turned off my phone and took the mobile card.Tomorrow he asks why, I answer it has expired.

I approached her body, grabbed her hand and kissed her.

"i'm going to rearrange my heart that has been worried for years.I'm going to try to convince you that if all the questions I have, you're the only answer.."

I kissed her forehead, clasped her hand tightly.

slowly, I will forget the memories that continue to hold me. I will try to remove the word "if only" this slow covering the heart and soul. throw away all this slow taste still exists.

hopefully you and your past memories will soon disappear from my memory.

Yes, I Would Only....