Losing Teaches Me
Want to Go Back Like Before

It's starting tonight, and tonight there's a family dinner between the Berlin family and the Sam family. Berlin was ready with a knee-length white dress without arms, he was already in the car, looking at the beauty of the night and see the passing vehicles.

"What do you love to see? " ask Diamond as she watched her daughter continue to look towards the window.

Berlin glanced at his mother with a smile, "No ma'am I just want to see this beautiful night sky, "reply Berlin, Berlin turned his gaze back towards the car window.

Diamond smiled, he really did not know what to do when he knew the truth of his son's current condition is very alarming, if only in exchange he wanted to change his life with Berlin. The love of a mother is huge.

Berlin continued to look at the area with a smile, he wanted to see the world and the situation before everything he could not see, sometimes he asked God why this happened? but sometimes he is aware and knows the reason why this happens to him, life feels so complicated if complicated, but it will feel easy if lived with sincerity and gratitude. And that life is what Berlin is currently doing trying to summarize and be grateful for what happened to him, because even though we are healthy someday we will definitely still meet with death.

A few minutes passed until they were in the fancy restaurant that the Berlin family had ordered, the four of them sitting at a table on the top floor, Berlin who had booked a seat there, and the other four of them were sitting at the table, he said he wanted to see the world more.

After a short wait, the Sam family came and the Berliners stood up and invited them to sit down, and everyone sat down. When Sam came to look directly at Berlin while Berlin tried to avoid the gaze that would only make him sad, Berlin night played the drink glass in front of him.

"We order food first, "Diamond calls the waiter and they all order food first.

"How are you guys? " ask Angga while smiling kindly at Sam's exit.

"Of course we're fine, "reply back Juna who also returned Angga's smile.

"What about you Sam? " Angga asked Sam while raising a gaze that was not easy to guess.

Juna patted Sam on the shoulder gesturing for Sam to smile and be friendly. Sam looked at Angga with a flat gaze, "I am good om, "sam replied with a smile and turned his gaze back.

"How is your relationship with Berlin? whether it has started to improve, I can't stop thinking" Angga's remarks were cut off by Berlin.

"Dad don't talk about it anymore, besides my relationship with Sam is much better, " berlin said with a clumsy smile and glanced at Sam who was looking at him with a sharp look.

"You know what the hell, Berlin don't lie to us, "reply Diamond he knows that Berlin is lying.

"No, I'm not lying, is it Sam? we're fine, "reply Berlin while looking at Sam.

Sam nodded slowly while smiling at Berlin, but it seemed a forced smile. Food came at last Berlin could breathe with relief, because if eating there is a tradition of not talking, so they will focus on the food for a few minutes.

"Then why did you bring me here, if in fact you will ignore me, "tio murmured inwardly.

"To show off your harmony, okay you guys managed to show it to me, I lost, " he continued with a wry smile.

While Berlin was currently in a state of confusion, he really wanted to leave this place immediately. A few minutes passed at last their dinner finished the cutlery was also tidied up by the ministry, and began to return the uneasiness in his heart Berlin.

"Why don't you want to understand me, " murmured Berlin inwardly.

"Look, tomorrow you pick up Berlin? because Tio has an event on his campus, "the word Diamond on Tio.

Tio nodded, he was lazy to speak.

"Will I go to the bathroom first? " part Berlin while walking towards the bathroom.

"I also went to the bathroom first well aunty, "Sam also paid to the bathroom, Sam walked trying to catch up to Berlin. When his parents could no longer see him because he was blocked by the wall, Sam pulled Berlin's hand to go with him.

Sam brought Berlin to the bathroom, he took off his hand violently, "Lu can't really do not act plain in front of them, not satisfied you always memgerepotin I continue, " snaps Sam right in Berlin's face.

Berlin stared at Sam, "I'm sorry but I never said anything to them, let alone to you, "Berlin tried to tell Sam the truth.

Sam smiled wryly as he rolled his eyes lazily, "I'm not stupid, don't ever make me angry, why the hell you love me so much? can you forget all that? never love me! " the last words from Sam before leaving Berlin.

Her eyes were hot, her chest was tight, but she tried not to cry. If he cries his parents will know he is crying and they will ask him why he is crying.

"I never asked for love with you, but my heart chose to love. If you talk forget this love, if I can I've forgotten it since this love existed, but if you know forgetting love is never as easy as falling in love, " murmured Berlin while staring blankly ahead.

Berlin went into the bathroom and washed his face, and now he wipes a tissue he carries in his sling bag. Berlin leaned his body against the wall while staring at his reflection in the mirror.

He also stared at the device he had installed in his right hand, "After you are present, the people I love are all acting differently to me, I want to want my life to be the way it used to be, where my parents were fair to me and brother Tio, Sam was always in every beautiful story of my day, " murmured Berlin.

He wants everything back to the way it was before he was told about his illness, he wants to do what he promised as a child with Sam, which is to live together only death separates