My Future's
Expressing Feelings

Jaye brought Tata in the area of the sugar cane garden, not meaning anything because in the area of the cane plantation is quite quiet quiet, there is also a breeze in the afternoon that is not too hot today. Jaye stopped the speed of his motorbike at the edge of the lake, of course, an artificial lake to water the sugar cane during the long dry season.

"Mbah Ni must have been very sad to see her beloved granddaughter like this" Jaye started the conversation.

"You know? I used to be sad and devastated when I learned the fact that my parents died in an accident. It all happened suddenly and I still have good dreams to live with them" Jaye told me about her, but Tata was just listening.

"I couldn't draw a picture of how I felt back then, which must have been a lot of pain and destruction. But no matter how bad I feel, my life has to go on and it can't stop. Moreover, there is still Bli Wayan in my life. So I turned to get out of that destruction. Although the pain of loss never goes away no matter how much time is missed. The pain of the loss remains real" Jaye stared softly at Tata.

"I'm so sad to see you like this" Tata stared at Jaye.

"While you've been down like this, you won't be returning Mbah to this world again" Jaye stroked Tata's hair.

"I'm alone" he said.

"There are many people who love you"

"I lost my house Bli, my only backrest, my place to go back to.hiks.." Tata's sobs began to sound.

"Would not your Lord replace everything that was lost in the life of his servant?" Jaye remembers.

"But Mbah is not a changeable item, MBAH CANNOT BE REPLACED WITH ANYTHING, AND MBAH WILL NEVER BE REPLACED..!!!!!" Tata is venting her emotions.

"I know Mbah will never be replaced, Mbah will always be in your heart, but in front there will definitely be someone waiting for you with love and affection" Jaye hugged Tata, trying to calm the girl.

"Don't fool me Bli, if my father doesn't care about me doesn't even want my presence. Then how can others wait and receive me with love and affection?" Tata releases Jaye's embrace.

"I'm not fooling you, we never know destiny in the future right?"

"Then from that do not make me dream and dream too high. Because if I fall, I won't be able to get up again" Tata wiped her tears.

"I'm used to living as I am, even to having an ideal I don't dare. The fact that you never cared about me and my mother's death, both of them tortured me so much. How's it feel in dad's car? how does it feel to cry on your lap? How does it feel to be in school with my dad? what does it feel like to eat a mother-made breakfast? I don't know all that..hiks.... I don't know how can my God give me such a bad destiny in my life? I really wonder what kind of happiness did God show before I was born that I was willing and willing to be born into this world? hicks..hiks..." Tata covered her face with both hands. "It hurts so much huhu.hu..."

The girl looked so fragile and so down that she blamed God for the fate line she received. It seemed like he was really at his lowest point.

"Hey.don't talk that way" Jaye re-coupled Tata's body carrying her in his arms. "We live this life slowly as you said, without dreams or ideals. Relax everything will be fine, I will always be with you, you can count on me" Jaye patted Tata on the back.

"I'm afraid to be alone Bli, why Mbah does not take me hiks.hiks..."

"If Mbah takes you away, then what about me?"

"What happened to Bli?" Tata raised his head that was in the chest of Jaye's field.

"I don't know if it's the right time or not? but I want to say that I love you so much that I love you even" Jaye replied, staring into Tata's eyes.

"Bli.." Tata unravels their embrace.

"I know what you're thinking, even I've talked about this with the late Mbah Ni, when your graduation was the other day" he said.

"Then what did Mbah say?"

"Bah did not forbid my feelings, Mbah also thanked me for loving and loving his grandchildren, and of course Mbah also reminded me of the differences between us"

"Then why did Bli tell me?"

"I only did what Mbah suggested, because I myself was unable to remove it. Yes I admit that I like you even love you somehow since when. But for sure since our first meeting, I've been very interested in you" Jaye said with confidence.

"Bli, a.ak.u" Tata suddenly became gago.

"You don't have to answer now if you're still confused, but I'll still wait for your answer" Jaye didn't want to impose his will.

"Ehemm... So when will Bli be here?" Tata shifted his gaze towards the lake, Jaye smiled seeing Tata's reaction.

"It wasn't easy for me Bli"

"But that doesn't mean it's impossible, right? slow down, I'm always by your side"

"Did Bli not have a job?"

"My work is very much, therefore, quickly return like the old Tata"

"So why did Bli stay here for so long?" Tata looked at Jaye.

"Because I have to make sure the girl who stole my heart is okay" she replied with a charming smile.

"Ish... Does Bli now open a clothing store?"

"I'm not flirting or bragging dear" Jaye knows the direction of Tata's question, and Jaye's answer makes Tata blush because it ends the word 'honey'.

"Is there a job for me in town?"

"You want to work?"

"I have to start supporting myself" he said.

"What kind of job do you want?"

"I don't have any skills" he regretted.

"Alright, how about helping me keep the counter?"

"Bli's gonna open up an HP counter?"

"Hem.."

"Is it a big counter?" Tata enthusiast.

"It's just a small shophouse, but I also need people to help" he explained.

"Well do I agree, so when do we leave?" getting excited to see the outside world.

"When are you ready?"

"Tomorrow I'm ready"

"You sure?"

"Hem" Tata steadily nodded his head.

"Okay, we leave tomorrow, but we have to permit Arif and Bik Mini first"

"definitely. But Bli's got a lot of patience to teach me later"

"Sure, it's not a difficult thing"

"I am one of the students who is difficult to teach Lho Bli"

"I know that" Jaye smiled then her hands ruffled Tata's long hair.

Finally Jaye can make Tata talk a lot, after venting his pent-up emotions, the girl was satisfied crying was now looking better, although not as cheerful as usual. but at least no longer protracted in his sadness, and most importantly Jaye has managed to express feelings that he has only been quiet even though there has been no answer from Tata, but not yet, but Jaye is so confident that her feelings must be avenged.

TB

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