Rattleheart
Meaning of the World

The eyes could not take his eyes off the sunlight, he sunk, turned yellow and brought all the sadness lost swallowed by the world. Stop, all this fighting is over, leaving me speechless, unable to stare blankly, and questioning, what I've been doing in my life.

The body that had been standing at the end of the cliff, began to lower its gaze from the valley that was enveloped in golden light. Feel enough, turn around, and start walking slowly into the middle of the forest. Shortly from behind there was a voice that reached the ears, slowly but sounding friendly and soothing.

"Are you leaving?" he said, I only answered with a smile. The legs continued their steps towards the darkness, leaving the middle-aged man alone.

I don't want to bother him. Apparently, their village had completely run out of money to hire various mercenaries like me. So, receiving that kindness might bother me a little.

But on the way back I asked...

What does life exist for?

I don't understand, I don't know. The eyes cannot avoid or lie. The voice and the scenery were still imagined, 10 years had passed, and I still did not understand. Why does all this keep happening?

Walk, walk through the woods, and disappear in between. Want to camp, but have nothing to hold. Only a few gold and bronze coins I brought. The body wants to rest, but somehow it refuses. I should have spent the night in the village. But I've decided, no rest for today. It's weird, it's inconsistent. Apparently, I really need a break.

The moonlight shone through the forest, quiet, dim but enough to open the view. Only the path is in front of me. The animals of the forest began to show their voices. Wolves howled along the way, birds flying, snakes and small mammals began to cross from the roadside.

It's really an atmosphere you can find in any forest.

Today everything went well, and I started asking myself what happened.

Is this all enough?

Has this fulfilled the purpose of my life?

No, it shouldn't be this road I've been on all this time.

The ideals? I have even long forgotten over that, becoming the number one magician in the Village? Ah, my village has even disappeared from civilization. Strange, but this is the harsh reality that I must accept.

Walking, down the path that seems to have no stop. Dark, alert, the grip of my hand is getting stronger. Ready to attack at any time. I don't know what kind of beast will attack me. These eyes are quite well trained, no longer need to carry torches like before.

Experience has become a teacher, unwilling to leave a trace, and unwilling to show where it goes. Like a torchbearer at night, I think this self has completely shut the door of his heart.

Torches...

Relax, warm. Giving a view in the middle of the night, a warm light guided the journey, accompanied by a small layer of smoke that airs above the embers of the fire. Like hope, the torch is the guide of man.

But with the warm light it is also human will die, but with the warm light it is also human will lose everything he has. The light attracted others to come and take part in the warmth of the little fire.

Sometimes they are good, sometimes they are bad. Who knows all that? Their intentions are one, come and mingle. Maybe like that, maybe. Stupidly the little boy smiled, opening himself up to anyone who wanted to approach the torch. Spreading the doors of heart and manners to people he did not know.

Fool, don't do that, you have actually dug your own grave. You have built a monument of death for yourself. Stupid, what are you doing. Be aware, don't be rash. Don't open your heart and kindness to those people, don't!

My eyes opened again, unconsciously I had walked far away relying only on my subconscious. The end of the forest, now visible before my eyes, stopped, accompanied by the pale full moonlight a scene now appeared before me.

Long ruins began to be seen, with a stretch of field around it. Heart hurts, really hurts. Familiar, not curious, and not wanting to admit it. Unknowingly I have returned, I have truly returned to this place. To the place where it all started, to the place where I put my hope for the first time. To a place where I shouldn't have decided on the mistake I made.

Nobody cares about this place, I can feel it. Nobody's trying to occupy this area anymore, I can see it. Various ruins, still felt very clear. Memories, I can remember. This little street, where I used to play. Ah, memories flowed all over my body, grimacing from the tip of my foot all the way to the crown.

My head hurts...

Unknowingly, I began to lose consciousness of myself.

***

The scorching sun began to reach my eyelids, sting, and slowly awakened from my sleep. His head lifted, slowly, and began to look around. Before long, the right leg began to take a swing, support, stand and now both hands clean clothes that are slightly exposed to dust.

Strangely, the buildings here are not completely touched by the bush. 10 years have passed but there are no grasses or tall trees growing between the buildings.

This house is very familiar, I can feel it, the warm smell is still clearly smelled. Who doesn't know this place. The delicacy of the soup from Mother Anna, and the boisterous little children who came and greeted her every day are still recorded clearly. The small streets that were always crowded with merchants, as well as the village gardens that continued to be occupied by poets from all over the continent can still be imagined.

In this place, many people gather to play with each other, sing and dance, share food and do performances. A happiness that is rarely found on this continent, with the establishment must end just like that in the hands of irresponsible and immoral people. At least that's my mind. But now I have no right to say it.

Footsteps continued to walk, circling the village, finding a large ruin that was still awake in shape. The black, flame-retardant marks were still engraved clearly on its walls. However, all can still be remembered, this place. The place where I got my dream for the first time.

The village library, unmistakably, the roof fell underground, overrunning its foundation. But the stairs are still the same. In the past, piles of books were stored between the circular stairs, a village wizard, Mr. Rudolf often guarded the library and served the villagers. Although he was old and often complained about his many jobs, Mr. Rudolf was a good man, he smiled at the sick little boy, though afterwards scolded him for their mistakes. He helped various village projects with his intentions, and many others.

One day, curious I stared deep into the shelves full of magic books inside the library. But I was always scolded by her, she said the magic book was expensive, the little boy should not approach her. But even so, every day I come, and come again. No giving up, peeking in from there and here. Until Mr. Rudolf finally gave up, and allowed me to read it, even though I did not know what it was all about.

Until the time came I explained my ideals to him, wanting to become a Wizard who saved many people, helping the duties of villagers like Mr. Rudolf, he said, to me seeing large and heavy objects so easily flying or being created by a wizard like Mr. Rudolf is interesting. Like a hero, ever since I wanted to, I really wanted to be like him.

Mr. Rudolf gave up, and finally smiled slightly upon hearing my ideals. He then gave a sheet of paper, and told her to give it to her. I smiled at him, I remember, this guy running fast through the rural blocks, eyes looking back and forth, and his mouth began to scream. Calling the mother who was cleaning dishes at the back of the house.

Astonished, he looked at me, and this hand carefully gave the paper to mother. Mother was confused, but after reading she understood everything. His eyes were staring at me, giving me a smile and now looking very happy to hear it.

By a few days, my mother took me back to the library, she said as the first attempt at seeing my potential as a Wizard. The smell of books smelled from afar, alluring, and made me want to meet Mr. Rudolf immediately, seen Mr. Rudolf looking at me quietly from his desk. Then he was seen talking to my mother for a while. A wave of hands was shown to me, a sign must follow them there. Slowly, walking I followed the movements of the two of them.

Before long I arrived at a very luminous room, he said this was where Mr. Rudolf kept the magic tools. Gently his thumb pointed his finger towards an object at the end of the room, round in shape and made of glass. He said it was a magic detector.

Mother and Mr. Rudolf looked at me closely. My hands, guided and then stretched out the two towards the crystal ball.

Yet....

Nothing happened.

The atmosphere became silent, no one spoke a word to me.

Until, Mr. Rudolf stared as he shook his head at mother. A sign something has happened, something has been decided.

L'm....

It has no magic energy at all...