The Humaira Virtual Zone
Istikharah

Carrying a lot of unfinished burdens, endless coming alternately to hit a brown-eyed girl. The girl was trying to talk to the creator.

Today is the fifth night after the statement of an Al-Ghazali. Trying to find the right answer. Humaira is undaunted to perform tahajjud 12 rakaat, along with witir, hajat prayer, Dhuha prayer, istikharah prayer, even prayers of repentance. Correctly reciting the Qur'an, sprinkling every verse of the word of Allah Subhana Wa Taala.

Though he found no answer, he still did not give up. Later in the afternoon he will meet the young man with mature skin. Humaira said prayers, after the dawn prayers. He read the Qur'an Surat Ar-rahman and the Qur'an Surat Al-Waqiah.

Having taken a bath before dawn, he immediately headed for the kitchen to cook breakfast. While chopping the ingredients to make fried rice. Humaira recites morning dhikr. After he finished he took Istighfar repeatedly. Makes time feel short.

No taste of green lado fried rice is ready to eat. He arranged it and put it on the table to eat, then called the mother. Anora looked at the child with a sad look, then she sat down on the chair. After reading the prayer, he ate a mouthful of fried rice made by the child. He looked at Humaira who did not touch the fried rice with a clipped egg and a little crackers on a plate.

"Is there a problem?"Anora felt that her daughter was hiding something.

"Well, Aa Alif got married on Friday. I don't know what to do, "Lirih Humaira started spooning a mouthful of fried rice into her mouth.

"Alhamdulillah nice dong, means he has met his soul mate. That must be right and good for him. Don't be sad!"Anora rubbed Humaira's arm gently.

"I want to piss off Mah, I hate him. Why do I still love him? He was someone else's husband! I'm confused Mah!"Humaira complains about her heart that some days she is quiet.

"Yeah, you let him go! or you want a mate, because some time ago there were good intentions for you!"

Humaira looked at the irritated Mama, then shook her head strongly. As if to affirm if he does not want to marry in a state of his heart that is injured. He does not want to seek escape, he believes there is no reason to choose between being loved or loving. Because we have to have both.

If we only choose to be loved, when we do not love, it will feel bland. If we choose to love, when he does not repay it, it will be more painful. So he just doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings right now.

"Mah! Al asked me to get married, I couldn't marry him. I've been trying to find answers. He tried to talk to the power. But I didn't find the answer at all."

"If you're not sure, then don't do it!"Anora arranged the spoons and forks she used, arranging them on the dirty dishes she used. He indicated he had finished breakfast.

"Okay, I'll see him this afternoon. And reject it firmly!"Humaira said as she arranged the dirty dishes and carried them towards the sink, to wash.

...****************...

Ghaza circled the park after finding a black girl sitting on a corner bench. He breathed a sigh of relief, feeling lucky if Humaira still wanted to see him.

After chanting and greeting, Ghaza sat on the bench on the left. Surely after Humaira turned his head, then answered his greetings and allowed it. Ghaza looked confused about to start a conversation with what kind of sentence. While Humaira often like he was sighing.

"Al! I'm sorry, I can't accept your offer! to me you're just a little brother I love the most!"Humaira breathed. It made Ghaza smile wryly.

"I see," murmured Ghaza in the end. Makes Humaira look at him.

"We're still friends, aren't we?"humaira said there was fear at the bottom of her heart.

Ghaza nodded quickly, he knew that Humaira would get hurt because of this. The man felt stupid, had expressed his feelings. He failed to make the girl he loved heal from her wounds. Precisely he included the cause of the wound that is in the recesses of the heart of the girl of his puja.

If Ghaza had not done this, would Humaira not have felt as devastated as he was today? Is it after this, that girl will stay away from him?

Just thinking about it made him feel so frustrated. Didn't want to show his sorrow to Humaira. With a heavy heart, the man immediately resigned to go to the airport. As both parents are waiting, the plane leaves tonight.

After saying goodbye, Ghaza walked quickly without looking back. He didn't want Humaira getting hurt by it. Therefore he rushed immediately to take an online taxi, which he had ordered earlier.

Humaira stared at Ghaza's departure with a shaken feeling. The sturdy back is getting farther away and smaller when caught by the pupils of his eyes.

"I'm not worthy of you Al! Even if those feelings will arise, but I'm not the one who deserves you."Humaira shed her tears.

The feeling of tightness increasingly gnawing at his heart, he looked up trying to hold back the tears that would spill back. At first Humaira thought she would marry Ghaza. But two days after Ghaza's statement, the man's parents met him. Asks Humaira to refuse his son's request.

Humaira felt ill, she understood that a marriage without the parental blessing of either party, would also not be worth considering. Ridho Allah is the Ridhonya of parents, if Ghaza's parents are not ridho, maybe Allah will not condone their marriage later.

Walking slowly, Humaira down the path that is in the park. He stared at the afternoon sky which began to turn orange. The sky looked beautiful, not as beautiful as her complicated romance.

...****************...

Today Humaira will meet Gus Abdan, to provide a letter of resignation. He felt unable to work there anymore, so many memories while with Ghaza there. He admitted that the seeds of love began to grow, albeit very little.

He did not know why his heart was at ease, instead he was unfaithful. She is the most loyal woman, it is difficult to fall in love. If he falls in love, it will be difficult to take him off.

Like his love for Alif Fikri. Until now, the taste has not faded. He did not forget his memories, his love, or an Alif Fikri. But he just forgot the feeling of having. He realized that the man now had a wife. The taste for Ghazali may appear due to the impingement. Or feel protected and unaffected.

Humaira continued to step, but immediately stopped him when he saw the figure of Gus Abdan who was carrying wood that would be delivered to the builder. Because currently pesantren in the renovation period.

"Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarokatuh Afwan Gus. I'll just have a minute,"

Gus Abdan stopped his steps, turning to Humaira. Then he took down the wood he was carrying. Answering his greetings, looking down he immediately asked what Humaira needed for him.