
“After Arum's father died. I got depressed. I was in shock at the time. Arum's father was very healthy without any pain. That day I cooked a catfish. Arum's father ate very greedily even he increased his food. Not as usual. At 6pm, he went back to eating. Pindang fish that I cooked up when I bought 1 kg of fish. Usually if I cook a 1 kg catfish can last 2 days. I thought my cooking was delicious. The azan maghrib. We pray together. At that time Arum grade 6 Elementary School, Azzam was 6 years old and Aisah 3 years older. We prayed together when prostrating on the 3rd rakaat very long I bowed. But there was no sign he would say Allahhu Akbar. Very long and I clapped 3 times. But still he did not move. I lift my head he still prostrates. I heard Arum ask. Mom, why did you bow down for so long. I stood up straight. I call him to stay motionless. I clapped his shoulders but his body fell to the side. Seeing it like that. I'm panicking. I kept calling her name. I put my finger up his nose to make sure he was still breathing. But there was no breath from his nose. I sat down as if I could not believe it. Arum started crying, and so did Azzam. Aisah so small yet to understand. Then I came back closer and kept shaking her body still she did not move. I opened his mouth and gave artificial breath. It was over my breath to breathe out his mouth. But still he did not move. I sat down and said to Arum to call the neighbors. No one believed he was dead. That day he still went to work on the plantation owned by Mr. Handoko. Back at lunch. That afternoon he came home early. He usually arrives home at 5 o'clock. That day he arrived home at 4:30. After cleaning. At 6 he asks for food. We usually eat at 8pm after Isya prayer. That night I did not release his body. I continued to hug even though his body was cold and stiff. As if she was sleeping. Tears have no stopping to come out. The next day, I bathed his body. When he was in my caravan it was as if he did not see his body wrapped by the shroud. When the ground started to pile up my body I felt like I wanted to jump inside. Then, my gaze began to blur and I fainted. I felt good when I saw I was home. I really can't take it. I have lived all this time. He's the only place I depend on. When he died, I had no one to prepare. I forgot that there were kids I had to fight for. Arum takes care of his sisters and me. She never cried. He always tried to strengthen me. Arum looks so strong. When his sisters ask about their father, Arum will tell them that his father is very happy in heaven and is waiting for us there. She told her sisters with a very convincing smile. But she's just an 11-year-old girl who's not as strong as she looks. I am so ashamed of my son. Since then I have been sick. The doctor diagnosed me with heart disease. No heavy work and stress. I realized that my kids needed me. But what can I do. My condition is no longer able to slam bones. Arum my support. He became my reinforcement. He knew I was good at cooking. So he asked me to make fried food for sale at school. Since the 6th grade of SD he has been selling fried food at school until he finished High School. The fry that was carried by him was always gone. School holidays, and every week. He will work for the homes of the rich people in my village. Clean the house, wash and scrub. If there is no work in the house. Then he will work on the plantation to harvest. When Arum's father was alive, he wished that Arum could become a doctor. His father had studied medicine but did not finish because both parents died so there is no fee.” Siti clearly told her life path.
Anita listens to every word that comes out of Siti's mouth.
“So Arum's father ever studied medicine buk?” Ask Anita.
“Yes he studied at UI. If he's still alive maybe his whole life is the same as Anita's mother.”
“Who is Arum buk's father name,” asked Anita. “If the age may be adek level or brother level is not much different and maybe I know.”
“Mardi Erlangga.”
“Who...” looks Anita coolest to hear that name.
“Wait a minute ya buk Siti.”
“Iya buk.”
Anita went up the stairs to her room. It carries some photo albums that look like old photo albums. Anita began to open the photo album.
“Is there Arum's father here.” Anita said while looking at a photo of a woman who looked very beautiful, and sat in the middle. On the left and right side of the man. The girl's face looks similar to Anita's. The one on his right looks the face of Jhoni when he was young similar to Habibi. On the left.... Siti's tears immediately flowed when she saw Arumi's father.
“This..ini... Dad Arum.” Siti said while no longer being able to hold back her cries.