Victims of First Love
The Abandoned Sanctity

The girl came home empty feeling as if her soul had been taken out of her body. Tears kept flowing down her cheeks. It cannot be described as the girl's feelings breaking. The person he once respected and loved, had scratched a deep wound and could not be healed.

The girl felt worthless again. Hate that word that can describe Siska's feelings. Disgusted and dirty, of course, he felt that he was very disgusting and dirty. Siska heads to the bathroom, trying to rid herself of the shadow of the incident that happened to her. I don't know how many times he took a shower to clean himself. Wishing this was all just a nightmare, Siska hoped that when she woke up, it wasn't real.

Siska was crying, she did not expect, if Cakra had done him any improper. Cakra raped Siska. In Cakra's mind, Siska is Nabila, the girl he loves. Nabila is married to Nathan, but Cakra doesn't know. Cakra only knows that Nabila is still dating Nathan and is getting married in a week.

And sadistically Cakra vented his disappointment towards Nabila to Siska.

Siska woke up from sleep, after a night of crying and thinking why did this happen to her? He got up from his small bed in a narrow room measuring 3 x 4 m. Room in his rented house that he had occupied for almost two years after the bankruptcy of his papa company.

When compared to the suffering when his father went bankrupt, last night's events were more painful and traumatized Siska. Even the shadow of Cakra treating him harshly was still vividly remembered by Siska. Like seeing a documentary in front of him.

"Bang, consciously, this is Siska, not Nabila," Siska snapped, hoping that Cakra would hear his words.

Instead of stopping Cakra was increasingly trying to forcefully kiss Siska. And try to take off Siska's clothes.

"Bang, no," elak Siska brushed off Cakra's hand that had begun to enter her clothes. However, Cakra threw Siska's body into the bed violently.

Siska shook her head, so as not to remember the incident.

Not only physical injuries experienced by Siska, but also psychological trauma. He was scared and dirty. What about his future? Can he get back to work tomorrow? What if she meets Cakra again, the first love that destroys her. What should Siska do? He was unable to meet Cakra anymore.

Avoiding it would be very difficult, given the scope of his friendship, there must be a time when he meets Cakra.

"Sis, are you awake?" siska's mother asked while knocking on Siska's room door.

The mother was surprised, not usually the only princess woke up at noon. Siska always gets up early even before the cock crows. Prepare breakfast for them. Siska's mother thought, maybe because Siska worked up the night shif and she was exhausted, so she woke up late.

"Yes, Ma, just let Siska out." replied Siska. He headed for the bathroom, re-cleaning himself for a long time. The more cleaned up, Siska remembered the fateful night.

Siska stared at herself in the mirror, eyes as well as tears, dark circles due to lack of sleep. Slight bruising, due to the slap of Cakra and other bruises on his body. Siska thought about how to cover her face. The wounds on his body can he cover with clothes, but the face?

Siska covers facial bruises with a little make up. She doesn't want her mother to know what happened to her daughter. If her father's bankruptcy alone depresses her mother, what if she finds out that her daughter has been raped? It would definitely shock him.

Siska would not if her mother committed suicide, like her father. Only the mother Siska had. Siska was willing to give up her life, so that her mother would be happy again like before. When they were still a rich family and lived luxuriously, without the need for Siska to work hard.

Siska looked at her face reflected in the mirror in front of her. Siska is satisfied with the results of her makeup, at least her mother will not know, what she has experienced.

Siska stepped out of the room, she headed towards the small dining table with three chairs. Siska's mother sometimes felt her husband was still there. Like today he prepared a fried rice breakfast for three people.

In their home, Siska's mother owns a greenhouse. There he spent time pursuing his hobby. While since living in rented, they only have a minimalist garden.

Siska looked at her mother, may she bear this burden. Siska knew God would not give trials to His people, if His people could not. Siska can only resign, hopefully it makes him more mature and patient.

"Mama, sorry." said Siska ambiguously, sorry because he could not take care of himself and sorry not to keep the promise yesterday.

Widia, Siska's mother, looked at her daughter's face in confusion. He could feel the sadness his little girl was experiencing. Widia thinks what happened to her daughter? Why is he apologizing?

"I'm sorry that our road event yesterday was off," elak Siska, she knows that her mother is confused and Siska doesn't want her mother to feel her sadness. A mother can certainly feel the sadness and pain experienced by her child. It doesn't matter if the child is an adult. His instincts are very sensitive.

"It's okay, honey. Mama understood." Widia smiled at Siska. Although he did not know what happened to his daughter. But, he wished his daughter to remain steadfast.

"Oh my goodness ... Mama forgot .. I'm sorry Mama, dear." Widia's consciousness returned, she took out a plate containing another fried rice. Fried rice for her husband. Is this what makes Siska sad? Because she still can't accept her husband's departure?

"How about we go for a walk today?" tawar Siska distracts her mother about the fried rice. Siska knew her mother must be feeling bad. Mothers are still confused about their lives, even though this has been going on for two years.

"Alright, Mama will clean our used cookware and breakfast," Widia replied, she then washed the dishes and cutlery.

Siska confused what to do? The class schedule is ten in the morning. Finally Siska busied herself by cleaning her house. He needs a distraction from the problems he faces.

"Siska, what are you doing, honey?" wonder Widia, when she saw Siska cleaning the house. Widia knows that Siska must have been exhausted from taking two shifts yesterday. Siska just looked at her mother confused?

"Let Mama clean it up" Widia suggested again.

"No pa-pa, Ma, Siska just looking for busy before going to campus," declined Siska.

"Are you not tired, dear? Yesterday you worked two shifts," replied Siska lying, but she was tired, let alone her mind. Real tired.

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