Batari Word
Memory Return
Trying to accept life's destiny, maybe that's the right word for me right now. Amidst the anxiety of the heart, the hands and feet were felt in chains by something I could not explain. In the morning my third day is in this moment that I don't know when I should be like this. What worries me is that if I can't go back to the time where I should have been or I will feel pain and regret when I've fallen in love and the affection that I missed right now, but I just have to leave everything behind me.
Memories of who I am as well as what I am doing in this period still cannot be seen clearly so it makes it difficult to digest all this. Not even their different treatment became something taboo for me to accept. The music of lute, gamelan, and regional dances that are so fascinating sometimes make me feel afraid of my residence in this time. What's really behind all this..
“ Raden Rara.. Sungkem doro, Raden Panji, Patih Andaru who just returned last night, asked Raden Rara to meet him at Bale Delod.”
Said a down-looking ladyboy talking to her and bending back to walk away from the yellowing room
“ Andaru?? A patih? Then. . . . Where's Bale Delod? What is it?”
Kemuning who was surprised suddenly ran out the door of the room trying to chase the lady
“ Raden Rara, Bale delod is in the middle of the main hall of Gusti Rara's house.”
Say the lady back who prostrates with her hands propped forward
“Alright, Thank you”
Andaru's? Father and mother.. Papa, and mama? Papa's name is exactly the same as Raden Panji today. Are they the same person? Doubt about the emptiness of the heart that has long been neglected. The shaking hand indicates that I am really not capable of this. But it dawned on me that I had to live in this time, venturing out of my room down the main street aisle, towards Bale Delod as they say. Honestly, I still really have to familiarize myself with all the habits of the routine they do. Thinking openly, I myself felt strange about my current appearance especially they prepared all the things that even I did not know how to do. Those who bowed their heads as I walked past them, or the swings of the women who were pounding rice or carrying clothes suddenly came to a halt with a bow before me..
“ Respect Gusti Raden Panji, Patih Andaru.. Gusti Raden Rara has come to want to face Gusti Panji”
Said a male knight standing at the door like a security man in the company
“ Login”
There was a loud voice from a man who could recognize
No way, it's just my feeling or it is... How could even his voice sound the same as Papa's? Is this really just my hallucination? How do I stop this hand that doesn't stop shaking! Exhaling a long breath and walking in with stuttering steps, I passed through the entrance gate and saw the lady-in-waiting welcoming me as I walked into this room. Stunned as if losing my self-balance I felt disbelief in what I was seeing right now.
2 figures unimaginable before by me can see them back. Those whom I miss and love with all my heart. My lips froze too fast to speak unworthy, only able to bow while respecting them. Like a noble couple, their appearance was very luxurious and also educated. Their body movements also look very different from the time where I came from. Trying to hold back the crying, the head was held up looking at the sky roof by breathing normally.. How can my mom and dad be alive again? Their faces, voices, and gazes right now with looking at me were very similar.. Mama, papa.. Finally seeing you guys back?
“ My child.. How is Ananda's condition now?”
Said the mother with a beautiful face with a soft voice asking worriedly
“ Me. . . Mam. . . Ma, sorry I mean Ananda's servant both mother”
The half-subdued yellowed speech held back the crying of speaking before his father and mother
“ Come. I want to see your condition directly”
Said the father, Raden Panji Andaru who was worried about kemuning conditions
The warm, tender hand that was caressing my head right now was very similar to what papa used to do to me. The affectionate grasp and hand that caressed my face from the hands of a mother I so longed for could be felt again. I don't know if this is just my imagination? Whether there is karma or punishment I will accept, if I have to pay dearly I will never regret and will accept it only to be able to feel the warmth of this affection. Seen they are very worried about me, finally I try to hold back this feeling can only scream in the heart that is happy for the presence of loved ones back.
“ Ananda is okay? Ananda fell from a horse when he came home from the palace with Raden mas and hit. Does the mother need to call the royal physician?”
Said the mother who was worried about her child's condition
“ Mother just relax. Raka kemuning a tough woman isn't she? Just like that won't be a problem for Raka.”
Said the sister who tried to calm her mother
“ True mother.. Kemuning is okay.. True what Pureswari said, I'm fine”
Kemuning who grasps the hand of the mother
“ Thank goodness. Please tell the truth when ananda feels unwell”
“ Good Ayahanda”
“ We had lunch together. Because it's been a long time the four of us didn't eat together”
“ GOOD DADANDA”
In the yard of the house, there is an open saung with wooden poles surrounding it. The long table unfolds with a variety of foods and drinks that look very delicious. It was unimaginable to me, really far from my current logic to be sitting here with them again by talking and joking about many things. Although I still need adjustments, it is enough for me just to see them smile. As the realm of overflowing water dams inevitably floods the river's headwaters the arid-looking waters try to fertilize it.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
It doesn't feel like a week has passed. Pureswari and I decided to go around the yard area to cool our hearts and minds. I don't know why Pureswari seems to know me so well that everything I'm going to do is read by him even he swiftly replaces the lady to serve me. For some reason since my arrival here, my hand has always been pointed at this bow of arrows. Can I really use this? I have never even shot a shot in my life, but how come when I wake up in this moment, this arrow bow is clearly slung on my shoulder. Finally I decided to really try, even Pureswari seemed so excited to see me practice archery.
The red dot for the bow was already attached, along with some pottery on display. They even asked me to shoot the stick standing at the middle end, splitting it in half. I who felt that it was all impossible and just wanted to try it out because I was bored, arrived when this hand grabbed the Bow and tried to aim the arrow, my position changed. The hand that grips strongly tries to push it. Eye shots that adjust the direction of the wind became my main goal. My first shot was that stick, trying to clear my mind and focus on one point, I tried to breathe out slowly and I released this arrow and straightened it apart. Feeling still strange, I pulled back the bow rope and released it back to hit the red dot with 2 broken pottery. The atmosphere became lively at this time, even Pureswari ran clapping and feeling excited. But arrived..
“ Your skills are getting further away from me. You're getting better at kemuning”
The words of Atma who arrived suddenly came to witness the kemuning archery
Stopped the steps on the figure of a handsome knight who stood firmly firmly in front of me. Why did the Atma become like this? Is he like me interested in this time? But if you look at his expression and behavior, it seems not because this man looks no trouble at all. Then, what is he doing here? This is the second time I've seen him here.. Trying to ignore it by turning my eyes away, Pureswari arrived who looked like he was embarrassed, decided to leave us with a few ladies and now I was alone with him.
“ After this what will you do?”
Said Atma who walked forward towards Kemuning
“ Ti, no.”
Kemuning turned his face back and turned his back to Atma trying to pick up a bow of arrows
“ Why do you seem to avoid me? Wasn't I your future husband”
“ WHATAA?? AAHH . . . . PARDON ME!! I'M SORRY!! YOU OKAY WHAT??”
Kemuning who was surprised accidentally released an arrow and deviated from the wooden pole to almost injure a ladyboy who was standing there
“ What are you doing kemuning??”
Atma immediately took the bow of arrow from the kemuning hand
“ Sungkem doro Gusti Raden Rara.. Slave is okay what”
Say the ladyboy by looking down towards kemuning
“ Thank goodness.. Thank goodness.”.
Kemuning patting his chest
“ Come with me, I have something to show you. You must have liked it”
“ What?? Do you know the consequences if we go silent??”
“ Silence? You're so funny. Of course I have obtained permission from Raden Panji”
“ What is true? When did you meet your father?”
“ I've been here since morning to see your father because there's something I need to talk to him about. So are we leaving now?”
Atma extended her hand again
I don't know why when my mind says no, but this heart can't resist until the helping hand I reply. Atma held my hand towards the stable where the horse was resting beside my house. Atma brought 2 horses and handed me 1 beautiful white horse. Feeling stunned I was silent for a moment to see this horse that looks dashing standing firm but also very feminine in action. This horse seemed to know me so well that it fell silent and I felt very fond of this white horse. Atma, who saw it, smiled and told me to ride it and we went riding together.
A gust of wind also hit me in the middle of the speed in running. Atma and I caught up with each other, even occasionally trying to corner one of the horses to slow down. Until we can not escape the laugh of the silliness of our behavior both towards a large green grassy land, which is very large, by being a banyan tree under a small lake that is clear where the stork or bird that just alight to quench thirst. Even with the clearness of this lake, I can see fish running around here and there. Wind gusts are really different in the middle of a sunny day like this at all I do not feel hot especially sunburn. Horses are locked onto tree trunks by filling their bellies eating green grass that looks delicious to them. Me and Atma were sitting beside the lake, under this beautiful banyan tree..
“ Beautiful once”
“ Right. This is one of the places you really like”
“ Really?”
“ Did you see that? You also tried archery practice here. Do you remember when I said my heart to you here at the time?”
Atma stared fixedly
“ Fill.. A liver? Wait for.. Are we right.. be...”
Kemuning suddenly stopped talking because his head was back in pain
“ Kemuning you okay? Kemuning?”
The worried Atma tried to support the kemuning leaning on him
My head hurts again. What's the matter? But I tried to quit like never before. I let this pain flow until I somehow explain this absurd thing. It was as if I was seeing a picture of the other me that was in this moment. I finally remembered who I was, my family, and how I was related to Atma. Feeling that I was adjusting to all these memories, I asked Atma to bring her back home. Atma also without thinking long stood up and released the horse bond and helped kemuning ride it and then drove back riding a horse to his residence.
But in the midst of unexpected events approached us just like that. Instantly 6 men riding on a cloth to cover part of his face so as not to be recognized to block my path and Atma. We tried to stop the horse pace by going silent watching them aim a long sword that looked very sharp at us. I was very surprised at this moment, but Atma Calmly told me to back off as if preparing to be ready for the possibility.
“ What is this? Whoareyou? Do you know who we are?”
Speak the Atma with Firmness and an authoritative Body
“ Ciihh..!! So arrogant of you!! Precisely because we know who you are, then we will finish your lives at this time also”
There was no long heard the laughter of the six men
“ You cowards. If you dare to face me one on one, not with a woman”
“ DO YOU THINK WE DID NOT KNOW THAT THE WOMAN IS PRABU STIRA KINGDOM?”
The six men shouted and increasingly pointed their sharp swords at kemunun
“ Then what do you want? We have nothing for us to give!”
“ You are not. But it looks like that woman... Let's see what you're saying is true. ATTACK THEM!! KILL HIS LIFE!!”
The six men immediately patted the horse they were riding on to immediately run
“ YELLOWS TAKE FURTHER SHELTER BEHIND ME!”
Atma did the same thing the six men did
Trying to listen to Atma's words I pulled my horse back and stopped not far from Atma at this time. As lifeless, the pounding of iron that splashed the flames, the horses that were firmly running, the body-breaking motion of Atma did it to protect me. It's unfair for me to see him fight those six strong men. But even a little Atma did not look daunted even his movements seemed invisible to the enemy. It did not take long for Atma to finish off all four of the six men in cloth masks. But when one of the men tried to run away from Atma and tried to run towards me, Atma came down from her horse and ran after the man without seeing another man riding after her and Atma realized it too late. The resistance was seen blocked by the horse's blow that hit Atma's chest to sleep on the ground and the sword also scratched one of Atma's arms with a lot of blood flowing. But Atma was still running trying to chase after the man who ran towards me, until finally...
“ ATMA.. SUBDUE!!”
Kemuning suddenly took the arrow bow that was beside his horse mount
The widened eyeball tries to find the target point with a range of distances blocked by tree branches and wind gusts. The undaunted hand muscles pulled the arrows, the chest swelled forward, and the regular gasps, I again tried to release these arrows by ending at the chest of a masked man. Before long the man who was riding a horse was getting closer to me, returning swiftly I took the arrow back and pointed it right to the stomach until it bounced down from the horse. Instantly the atmosphere feels changed I can feel gripping if lingering here. Despite my fears I tried to hold him back and tried to help Atma drive back to the city and treat his injuries once I reached my Bale residence.
The wounds in Atma's hands were seen to be very open with the endless flow of blood. Seen by the ladies even Pureswari was frightened to see Atma who looked pale. If it continued to leave it like this, Atma could bleed out! How am I supposed to help him? Thinking of withstanding the wound, the scarf I was wearing accidentally removed and I wound it on Atma's wound while only pressing it to prevent the blood from flowing until the healer came to the aid of Atma..
“ ANANDA KEMUNING WHAT'S UP, SON?? RADEN MAS, HOW DID YOU GET HURT LIKE THIS?”
Said Raden Panji Andaru who happened to have just returned home and saw kemuning and several maids helping the injured Atma
“ Gusti Panji. Slave and kemuning attacked in the middle of the forest road to kota”
Said Atma who tried to endure the pain and stood facing Raden Panji
“ WHAT ARE THEY YOU TOLD ME ABOUT YESTERDAY? THE MIDDLE FOREST VILLAINS?”
“ True Gusti Raden Panji”
“ IMMEDIATELY TIGHTEN SOUTH AND EAST PART OF THE HOUSE. THE EASTERN AND WESTERN PARTS MUST BE KNIGHTS WITH SWORDS AND BOWS. I'm gonna investigate all this. My son, be careful. Take care of your mother and Rayi”
Said Raden Panji who felt angry by directing all the knights in his house and stepped away by patting kemunun
“ Wait. Let me come with you Gusti Raden Panji”
The arriving Atma bowed before him
“ Ap.. WHAY?? NO. NOPE. YOU HURT ATMA! EVEN YOUR BLOOD IS STILL FLOWING!”
Kemuning who pulled Atma's hand tried to stop him
“ This is my responsibility as well as my duty. Kemuning wait for my return”
Serious Atma stared dumbly and tried to let go of his yellow hands
“ Alright if that's what a Bhattara Sapta Prabu says, We go now.”
Said Raden panji who walked away from Bale's residence
The eyes that were looking intently at his departure stopped when they saw the blood from his body that was still clearly visible on my hands. Concern also struck when loved ones and loved ones left without news of the guarantee of his safety and when he returned.. Rows of warrior horses that stretched with a flag were fluttering. They all went to be cut off, swallowed up by the night.