Beautiful Goodbye
CHAPTER 33: Gradients

        Someone has been waiting. At least—at least once, someone that peppered long wait wrapped in loyalty. All on the basis of trust. The girl knew very well, how great and valuable a trust that could not be given for free. His dark and deep yearning often tired him in the almanac numbers that rotate throughout the year. Not finding what is expected, while taking without a definite meaning.

      Then the life he lived, unfolded, then melted into a series of stories; a group of events that are not ternyana number. Gave a little color to the ashes. Sohyun learned a lot. Not denying himself to be wiser in the face of something unexpected. Beyond impulse, if you want, sometimes Sohyun thought to verbalize his life story series to the world or share it through writing contained in book bundles that he wrote in several series. Biography, maybe. Or fiction with a pseudonym that is actually telling his figure in real life. Without purpose—or actually share his experience— so that people can take lessons from his history that is not how much.

        But ... never mind. Enough Sohyun and the people closest to him. After all, until this moment, he did not feel important to be known by many people. Level above the shame, how to picture the other side of him. She is still Kim So Hyun, a melancholic female figure who prefers to make ordinary people curious about the sequence of her life story that is too mysterious when viewed straight. The road is winding full of twisting, still continuous to find the end. Closed might be the next name for Sohyun who is used to harboring everything himself. It was so nice for her that she shut all her secret doors tightly.

        And for all the uproar of dreams that he kept secret in a neatly printed graffiti in his diary pile, those dreams had already come true. One by one.

As a woman, Sohyun had a dream. Dream of being a beautiful woman at an upcoming wedding. The day also falls on his birthday. So special, thought Sohyun who was now looking at the twin in the makeup mirror. For just a moment, let Sohyun be proud to see the graceful appearance covered in the wedding dress he used to wear in the boutique with Taehyung. Still fit in the body, although honestly the weight decreased drastically.

         But sometimes, the worry hit and Sohyun could not avoid. The moment where Sohyun thought on the way home after his date with Taehyung on hill—the fact that he did not know himself—lost embarrassed to cover up on the face of the wall. Sohyun. From the beginning, he tried hard to fortify himself so as not to show too much love for Taehyung. insisted to convince themselves, that they are destined to be friends, because he did not want to wreak havoc in Taehyung's life later.

        Laughter scorn will explode, Sohyun need to laugh at himself, look at his form now. He alpa, just an ordinary human being, had no authority to control the destiny of other beings. Sohyun is not God, he is knee-jerk on his fragile life line, stumbling on his erratic footsteps.

          While judging herself, her lips moved—voiced, "Chance."

          Yoon Eun stopped her hand, looking straight at the big mirror— saw the shady expression of Sohyun who had just spoken.

         "Don't look at me like that" Sohyun said. "If it were my last day, would you cry?" he wants to know.

          Sohyun's mood was not as calm as his flat face. Likely, to the point that the ripples of his will gradually ambushed. Silly question. Why ask what the answer already knows. Yoon eun looked away at the other edge, already very claustrophobic looking at the princess who was beginning to be wrung away by despair. He also lost his hope.

         "Why do you think that?" tanyakanya.

          "Just a hunch."

          "Don't trust him."

          "But all this time my hunch has never been wrong."

         Yoon eun exhaled heavily, 'never wrong' too much in her ears? He does not question, for the fact says so. And again, there is no interest in arguing now, because it is certain that he will lose. Too often Sohyun turned his words around sarcastically.

        A few moments quiet. Turn off all activities in the room they live in.

        "Evenings I dream ...," paused accompanied by a breath of fiber. "Dad and Mom came to my dream, they said they wanted to be with me, yeah, like they wanted to take me somewhere."

        Yoon eun remained silent. The shadow of the late Jang hyuk and So Ran tetiba debunks the small space of his gloomy memory. It was so dark that his heart was pierced deep.

       Sohyun added, "They often come with a radiant face, but that last night felt different. Father spoke, Mother ..he kept hugging me. Even if you tell me not to believe my dream, I swear, if I feel it is not just a dream. It feels real, and I want to feel it again."

       "By leaving me!" sergeant Yoon eun.

      Sohyun nodded to him without feeling. Imagine how messed up Yoon Eun is now. When Yoon Eun has started to soften, paying attention and making Sohyun her biological daughter, Sohyun suddenly wants to go that easy.

       "Is it really that hard for you to change it? Change your perception."

       This time it was a sack. Sohyun smiled wryly, he was unable to brag anymore. How can it be like that, while his stomach feels burned along with a suffocating explosion nan wrapped around. Sohyun desperately tried to take refuge in the skin of his face that was made numb. I don't know until when he hangs on to the exhausting mask.

        Door handle moving. Opened.

        Yeri who had just arrived, felt a cloudy atmosphere on the faces of the two women in front of her. Not knowing what they were talking about before, it must be something serious, until this room felt empty of sound.

      Slowly he stepped closer to Sohyun, carrying a bouquet of flowers for Sohyun. Three forget me not florets are among them, along with celocia, daisy, candytuft, and gaillardia. At first glance, like not a bridal bouquet in general.

         "May you like it." Yeri advocated the hand, handing the flower to Sohyun.

         "Your taste is always good." Sighing deeply into the soft fragrance of such flowers. Sohyun.

🔔

       The dense fragrance dyed the air, as the door opened and showed a woman appearing behind it. Not the arbei she often craved, the female figure, who was so alluring she was walking, carried the remains of a soothing oceanic fragrance.

       The man patiently waited for his bride-to-be to walk closer to him. Admiring the elegance of Sohyun's long steps that flanked his right hand on Han Woojin's arm, as guardian, while his left hand, grasping the hand bouquet contained a variety of flowers.

        Gorgeous

        Taehyung turned to his sweetest smile to welcome Sohyun. The closer the swing step comes, the more the performance of his heartbeat increases. Rhythm is unreasonable, too harsh. In a split second, the anticipated woman stopped right in front of him. Sejemang Taehyung was glued, staring at Sohyun's natural face that was dammed with thin makeup. The man admitted that he was fascinated for the umpteenth time, uncountable, Taehyung was unable to tell how many times he fell into the aura of his bride-to-be.

        "Get up Sohyun," Woojin said softly, looking at Taehyung who was facing him while smiling in agreement. His hand patted the arm of the man who was soon to be his daughter-in-law, sad. How not, Woojin just felt how happy he was called father. Sohyun even rarely shows his potent nature and now he must be released. It's more difficult, in case Woojin has to take Sohyun off for a long time. He could not imagine life without Sohyun, fearing that it had also haunted him as Yoon eun has been wreaking haunt for days, fear of loss.

***

        Not many people attended the wedding ceremony this time. There were only a few, both from the Sohyun and Taehyung families. It can be counted using fingers.

        Those who watched, dissolved in happiness. Yoon-eun is increasingly unable to hide her desire, her feelings getting slashed no matter what. A big lie, if he does not know about Sohyun's words before his daughter leaves the room. The pain stoned the bottom of his heart periodically, he could not calm down to see it.

       "I know it's very heavy." Woojin was already sitting next to him, squeezing the clump of Yoon eun's fingers moving restlessly. The woman looked down upon her wet skirt. It's a trail of tears.

        "She's already our daughter. But I haven't been able to be a decent mother to her."

        Woojin understood, understanding how his wife felt. "I told you how many times? Don't cry on your happy day. Stop, can't you see Sohyun as a strong person?"

       Yoon eun was silent, as lightning quickly erased the liquid marks on the cheeks, when Sohyun turned his head towards her. His daughter smiled.

***

        Taehyung did not want to look away, there was a gurgle of displeasure while his net saw the pale face sweat Sohyun.

      "You okay?" tanyanya's worried.

      Booing Sohyun, "Don't worry about me. Just a minute, until the show's over."

      Taehyung noticed, Sohyun could no longer hide the pain in front of him. "We can put it off" he whispered again.

      Sohyun smiled faintly, rejecting Taehyung's suggestion. His gaze turned to the priest, hinting that he was ready, as well as Taehyung. The man nodded, despite being struck by an acute panic.

🔔

        "I, Kim Taehyung accept you, Kim So Hyun became the only wife in a legitimate marriage, to be owned and maintained, from today onwards, he said, in joy and sorrow, in abundance and lack, in sickness and in health, to be loved and cared for and cherished, until death do us part. I will make my pledge to you."

      Taehyung's oath that there is no doubt in his pronunciation. Delivered so smoothly layered honesty.

      Not yet, Taehyung has not been relieved after pledging the wedding vows. In front of him there was still Sohyun who tried hard to stand in line, still waiting for the woman's turn to say the sacred promise as she did.

       Sohyun was not in good condition, he could feel it, the pain emanating from those teary eyeballs.

       A moment the priest said, letting Sohyun make a promise. The woman could even smile, and more and more passed Taehyung's chest watching her.

       "I ... Kim So hyun..," her voice trembled. "Receive thee, Kim Taehyung becomes the only husband in a legitimate marriage, to be owned and maintained, from this day onward, in joy and sorrow, during abundance and deprivation, in the past, in sickness and in health, to be loved and cared for and cherished, until death do us part. I will make my pledge to you."

        Although stamped with a small ring, Sohyun can finish it. Everyone was silent, even Taehyung who looked nimble facing Sohyun who was never tired of looking at him. Proud.

       "With this I announce, they have officially become a couple. In the eyes of religion and law. No more two but one."

        Happy rails were absorbed in his sense of sight, Sohyun seemed to have found one of his ujud; carving various laugh wrinkles on the faces of those who had been present coloring the ashes more and more bright.

       The ring that had been stored in Taehyung's pocket, now embedded in Sohyun's ring finger, his eyes glistened to see the silver ring coiled perfectly on his finger. Taehyung's turn to receive the ring, trembling and carefully, Sohyun grabbed the hand of the man who had been her rightful husband to be fully owned.

       Taehyung endured the cries, as the cold spread as his fingers touched Sohyun's pale white epidermis. Tremor that makes him worry again old.

        "Smile, on our happy day."

        Taehyung's mangosteen was silent, in the body of Sohyun before landing a kiss on the lips of his wife. His eyes were both closed, ten seconds in defense.

         "Thank you," Sohyun whispered.

         "I should be thanking you" Taehyung said, deepening his grip.

🔔

        Just briefly.

        The soft whisper was again ringing in the ear. Sohyun said only briefly, but for Taehyung it must be the opposite. It was almost midnight, after the blessing ceremony, Taehyung took Sohyun to the church garden. While the witnesses who had been present, had come home carrying feelings that were not even able to be designed. Sohyun collapsed, in a semi-conscious state, asking to be given space with Taehyung. Spend time with her husband for a while. Just moment.

       Under the dim light of the moon, they sat on a bench, next to each other to gaze at each other. Without changing clothes and covered in a white coat that Taehyung had worn, Sohyun shivered with the cold. A series of syllables inside Taehyung's brain faltered in his stiff tongue. Do not know what to say and how while the woman is now in the stage of worrying.

        "I want to be the eighty-ninth constellation," Sohyun lamented, his gaze pointing at the twinkling stars. From where he is now, he can see the constellation cygnus. The beautiful constellation attracted its attention since then, a swan-like star cluster. Although he did not really like the legend behind the formation of the constellation cygnus, but Sohyun liked it. At least for some reason, and one among them, is that tonight the constellation appears to adorn the night sky, which is near and clear in its eyes.

       Taehyung, who was apparently reluctant to take off his arms, followed Sohyun's gaze, before focusing only on his wife's tired face.

       "Why?" tanyakanya.

       "So you can look at me in the sky."

        Taehyung. Smile broken. It was not easy to accept such a statement from Sohyun's lips.

        "God Zeus will be angry. What if you're just gonna be one constellation for me? Just for me without needing to be one of the occupants in the sky." Taehyung looks begging. I don't want you to be that much, you're more special than that Greek mythological story."

         The knot smile is shown Sohyun, slipping deeper and deeper into Taehyung's chest. The man was right, Sohyun agreed to it without protest. "Behold, I will be with you whenever, so don't feel alone even if my body is no longer beside you."

       "We're just getting started, and you want to get away from me?"

         "I'm sorry, I should have worked harder to heal, not give up as I am today."

         "It's not your fault. There's no need to apologize." Taehyung's stern arms shook the advice, giving Sohyun a warm back.

         "I'm happy."

        "I'm happier."

       "I love you."

       "I love you so much."

        Perhaps, a series of words is just spoken, a simple form to express something in the heart. However, each has known how the outpouring of flavors that can not be expressed just a word sweetener nan entertaining.

       It's been twenty minutes.

       The conversation was short for both. Too briefly. Sohyun was already tired, only a light hiss, as well as a heavy offsetting of his wheezing breath. Like..had just completed a frustrating long-distance run. Sohyun bowed more and more.

       "You tired?" Taehyung asked. When the roar of strong breath occasionally hit the arm that darkened the body of the wife.

       "Can I rest?"

       Taehyung did not answer.

     "I feel that today is so long and tiring .. I need to sleep, maybe that way, I can forget my pain a little bit."

      "Please promise me a little, like you said," Taehyung said. Garau accompanied his voice, as if heavily assenting Sohyun's plea.

      "Do you have the heart to see me continue like this?" Sohyun again said, very shrewd.

      "Then, what about me? Do you also have the heart to see me alone while you sleep?"

       "Promise me you'll be fine.... There's or without me by your side."

      Decide it's clear liquid. Free Taehyung looked up high, his tears still fell down his cheeks.

       "I'm sorry, I can't be the perfect wife for you. Can't do much for you—"

        "I'll let you sleep!" serobot Taehyung's. "But please wake up. I'll keep you company, I'll be by your side until you open your eyes again!"

         "Tae..," Sohyun called out, getting sicker with each of his interrupted breaths. "I really want to stop."

         Taehyung shook his head, his mind was confused. It was impossible for him to take Sohyun off. Taehyung still needs Sohyun, to stay alive.

         Sohyun may be ready, since a long time ago death continues to loom over him. Death is the goal, as a release of his fatigue with the life of the world. Is everything completely cut off after this? He knew that this day would come to him. So he shouldn't have questioned this. Twenty-two (22) figures are greater for him, than the lives of those who can only breathe air for a moment and leave. Like babies who die in the womb or those who are just moving feel the life of the world, the children who had to fight harder than him and those who had to drown in the darkness of the narrow room in the ground before him.

      "Because I believe, you're capable."

      Taehyung's head shook his head and tightened his arms, Taehyung felt he could not accept the word from the lips of Sohyun. He wanted to see his woman quickly free from all pain, without having to leave her. He wanted to continue together, accompany Sohyun for the rest of his life, as long as the woman who had become his soulmate did not leave.

        Selfish. Taehyung is indeed egocentric forcing and does not want to let Sohyun, rejecting all the facts.

       "Prove that you love me ...."

      Words are not enough without proof.

      The dilemma, real now Kim Taehyung felt. His brain turned again the memory that led him to his conversation with his older brother, Kim Jaehyun. The conversation that managed to tear down the solidity of Taehyung's self-defense fortress.

       Sohyun did not have much hope, it was impossible for him to survive with such a disease. Complications even inflammation ....

       Taehyung is unable to continue, it would be evil if he tried to defend Sohyun, making his wife unsettled.

       "Sleep."

       One word that rattled the chest, scraping the air around, Taehyung just said "sleep", for Sohyun who was smiling unusually.

      "I'll be with you until you fall asleep" she changed her expression brightly. As bright as the twinkle of his eyes that held the wild turmoil at the end of his eyes, if not being at Sohyun's side, there must be a lot of Taehyung's tears that would be wasted.

      "Thank you ...," she said.

      "You used to ask me to sing a song, didn't you? I've been thinking about the song, anyway you should sleep well after this, don't torture yourself."

       "Emm."

        The man focused his attention on his woman's pale face, caressing the surface of the skin that had been soaked by cold sweat. Sohyun closed, low on his thighs, leaning tiredly on his turbulent chest.

        "You're so tired of it."

        Because Sohyun only responds to his question.

        Taehyung ducked, closed his eyes for a moment, took a breath before a soft hum came out of his lips.

Listen, listen to my voice

Taste, feel the strings vibrate my gitaku

Small points race doubtfully

Wrapping my own twisted yarn

        Maybe not always forever

We can get through all of aral

I assure love...

My dear is sincere as it is

The night will be a witness

How fragile I am without you, my cleavage

Even the dark cannot hide my pain, my pain, my sadness

My heart may break, break

Crushed, melting, column

Give it a little time

Just a little practice

To speak

If Iove...

       Taehyung stopped his singing. His smile dispersed as Sohyun's body charged with no power in his arms. There was no beautiful hum coming out of his mouth, but rather the sedu sedan incision of the man. New wounds that will scar the old.

     "I haven't even finished my song yet" Taehyung said softly. "If I love you more than myself."

      Sohyun was sound. Leaning vanished in his chest. The woman was no longer awake, closing her two beautiful eyes, forever.

        The pecking of Sohyun's face repeated, giving a close hug as a relief of his tightness over the breakup that occurred.

        "Happy birthday. Be happy, you are no longer tormented, may you be at peace with God. Wait for me, honey. Please wait for me." he said along with a tear spill that made the river. The man sobbed all night, hugging the lifeless body without tenuous. Inhaling deeply the fragrance of the body that he will long for. His girlfriend has gone. What can he do after this?

        Kim Taehyung's heart broke, his chest hurt, a thousand stabs whack when his woman could no longer respond to what he said. His ears still wanted to hear Sohyun's soft voice approaching his shadow at all times. But, .... Reality says otherwise, everything is no longer the same. Sohyun left his smile, for him to look at, to be remembered by him. Half his soul had drifted far away. Leaving himself alone.