Dear Adam
About Feelings

Exactly at 08.55 Raya just arrived in front of the school gate that has been open since earlier, which is, there was a breath of her breath after running from the cfd area to school and for the Kingdom this was called her first marathon run. After arriving in front of the school he only realized that earlier he should take public transportation only or order ojek online but he completely forgot. The security guard who had been in a small room right next to the gate was shocked to see the Kingdom that was almost exhausted by his tired breath.

"Neng is okay?" ask the security guard to come closer.

"Haa.. haa.. paakk... haaa... haa... is there... water sir?" tanya Raya ngos-ngosan, now what she needs water. The security guard went straight into his room and pulled out a glass of water for Raya, with the thirst and dryness in her throat The Kingdom quickly drained the drinking water.

"Why do you run around like you're after Dedemit?" ask the security guard again. Raya glanced towards the name listed on her uniform, 'Pak Mahmud ya.' said her inner.

"I'm late exkul pak. haaa. I'm sorry first." replied Raya who again ran towards the special park LH, she promised later would repay Mr. Mahmud's kindness.

Some of the other students who were excreted this morning also saw Raya who was running very fast, some of them were whispering with the behavior of Raya but there were also those who immediately ignored her. This morning there are not many exkul who practice only there are LH, PMR, Basketball and Journalism, exkul, on the sidelines of his run he hopes not to get the nagging of the coach or his upperclassmen even though he knows his hope is a small possibility because he was already 15 minutes late.

Only a few meters away from her, Raya could see a group of people sitting in a circle, she could see they were writing something and her new self arrived with breath gasping again.

"Haaa..haa..haa.." Her heartbeat was even pronounced throughout her body.

"I'm busy.. father.. and brothers.... haaahh.. forgive me.. I'm late.. haaa.." said Raya with sweat that flooded her body, he still could not see clearly who the people who were standing in the middle of the circle were so rather than falsely saying he called all the calls politely.

"You okay? here I have water, drink first." said a voice that did not feel foreign in the ear Raya, said, Raya raised her face to see who it was she also rubbed her eyes repeatedly the goods she had wrongly seen but the man before her was Adam. Raya is shocked and spontaneously rewind her, she did not expect if her self and Adam one exculpation.

"Why are you dizzy?" adam asked again, his hands still faithfully held out a bottle of aqua that was still sealed. Obviously now all the gazes of the students who followed LH are now turning towards Raya but some whispers are heard around her.

"Pst!! that's a chick like a caper, isn't it Adam's sister?" whisper someone to his friend.

"Yes well.. time is suddenly late does he not see the clock?" another whisper.

"Eehh eeh but I heard his words he likes caper, because he's King quarreled with upperclassmen." said another.

"Where is that?" kepo is another.

"That in the cafeteria at that time, I saw between Kak Bara and Raja there he was to the extent that I heard Brother Bara was angry." whispered the others.

"Aahh ii.iya brother thank you." Raya picked up the drink hesitantly and sat down in the other crevices.

"So you're the one whose name is Raya?" asked a man who was also following him standing in the middle of the circle.

"Right sister." said Raya, she lowered her head.

"Next time don't be late on deck! it's been 25 minutes more and you've just arrived how about trying if others follow your habits?" the timpal of a woman who was also following him stood in the middle of the circle.

'Hubby? how could he feel so good?' tanya Inner Kingdom but that comes out in the mouth of Kingdom is just "sorry brother."

"Here you go, he's also sorry for being late." said Adam.

"That's right! Brother Adam to know him loh, very caper anyway." whispered the others.

"Yes, he must be a great pleasure." said another.

Hearing that Raya is getting down her head, she felt embarrassed because it was made the gossip material of friends that she did not know. He also felt in the same fine bully other but he could not reply because of his real he was wrong.

"Can't be Dam, everyone has to value time. So you do not try to be late because the late one will get punishment." said the woman.

"You! now quote all the trash in this school." continued the woman.

The real Adam wanted to prevent the punishment because he saw Raya who was panting coming here, the woman also just took a short break to recover her condition immediately given the punishment. Adam felt sorry for her but recalling the whispers heard from some of his underclassmen made Adam doubtful, he was afraid the Kingdom would continue to be another gossip.

"Good brother." replied Raya and stood back up. She walks in search of the trash as her punishment and Adam is just speechless at her departure.

The LH exculpate walked peacefully for approximately 1 hour after Raya received the punishment, some of the 10th graders who participated in LH were writing important things from his seniors and the exculpation ended a few minutes before Raya came with two garbage sacks that he quoted.

"For a long time, did he punish her or not?" ask the woman in annoyance.

"Yes, wait for you too who gave him the punishment to cite garbage in this big school." said the man.

"That's her risk, Rik! I'm not saying to all corners of the school he should use dong's brain!" exclaim that woman.

"Well? wrong you dong Put, try you say only in this section or that part is not his in this school!" erik Sahut.

"Kok was my fault anyway? how did you think of him anyway?!" said the Princess did not accept.

"Thinking dong Put, the new boy came panting he had not been drinking even just sat down immediately you gave the punishment can be finished later exkul." said Erik.

"Kok you.." The Princess' words stopped.

"Udah... already... want to see when you argue? fighting mouth like gini can not make him come here quickly, as good as we look for him together." said Adam, these two people if not in the middle will be injured.

Adam led the way followed by Erik and Princess who were still upset but their steps stopped when they saw a woman who was running carrying two sacks of garbage.

"Haahhh... haahhh.. brother sorry.. I have completed... this punishment.." said Raya with breath up and down, he felt very tired if there was no security guard who helped him would need hours to quote garbage throughout the school not to mention the garbage in the sewers of his school.

Sweat profusely continues to pour on his body Kingdom, clothes, pants even his interior is also wet follow. His body felt so hot especially with the steam that seemed to come out of his body. He wanted to sit down but he was strong in front of his 3 upperclassmen.

"Gee you see Put, still want negative thingking with him?" sindir Erik's.

"What the hell." replied the Princess with an eye movement that did not like Erik.

"Next time don't be late!" press the Princess in front of the Kingdom, she left the 3 people just like that with a feeling of annoyance in her chest especially on Erik.

"Sorry yes deck, like the Princess again PMS you can go home. Oh yeah one more don't forget to ask each other for notes with your friends because next week will be on the test what you remember from the note." Erik said before he came home.

"Good brother." replied Raya, now she has to copy the notes but whose notes? Raya is busy with her own thoughts while Adam still faithfully stands not far from her.

"Here let me help" said Adam when he saw Raya did not move at all.

"Eehh. ahhh no need, brother, I can do it." reject Raya, he did not want Adam whose clothes were clean was exposed to this wet garbage stain.

"Nothing, you seem too hard to carry two sacks at once let me help you" replied Adam, he was so eager to help this woman. Hearing the sincere words of Adam made Raya hand over a bag of sacks to the man.

Silent and with only the wind blowing, Adam led the way and the Kingdom followed. Along the way Raya smiled with the treatment that Adam gave her from the many rumors that Raya heard during a meal in the cafeteria lately there was a rumor that said that Adam was colder than Zero, he does not want to get close to women even seem to avoid. I've had many women who ask for his help but he always refused subtly but when dealing with his Adam looks a little different.

'Can I expect more?' ask her inner.

Adam did so, during the trip to the garbage bank he rethought his treatment on the woman who was walking following him.

Once in the garbage bank Raya and Adam separate the garbage according to his division, there are 5 garbage cans that are available according to his name in the beginning with recycled waste, organic waste, and organic waste, b3 garbage, reuse garbage and lastly waste residue approximately 10 minutes they are in the garbage bank and azan dzuhur reverberate.

"Azan, do you pray?" ask Adam.

"Aahhh I no longer pray brother." replied Raya with a little shame, the chapter now she is still menstruating.

"Oh that's it, I'm sorry" said Adam leading to his school mosque but suddenly his steps stopped when he remembered something.

"This is a note that you have to memorize tomorrow, copy it now" he said to Raya and then continued his steps.

Raya immediately clutched the not-so-thick book in her chest, her smile continuing to expand even when Adam was nowhere to be seen again in the reach of her eyes, 'I would love to get close to her.' her inner word.

A few minutes after Adam left, Raya followed him to the mosque. He did not enter the prayer room but just sat on the terrace of his school mosque which is also spacious. He photographed the note that Adam gave him using a mobile phone because Raya did not carry a bag at all, she just carried herself and the clothes attached to her.

"The writing of Brother Adam turned out to be neat and good as well, surely Brother Adam has high value." said Raya alone, he sat here waiting for Adam to finish praying.

About 15 minutes after waiting for the man to be ready, some of the female students who participated in the prayer also started towards the terrace and some of them chatted with other friends.

"I was praying for the first time in Imami Adam's sister" said a woman with a red hijab.

"I've been several times and every time I hear Brother Adam's voice it feels very calm" said the woman in a white veil.

"Isn't every dzuhur his reading not in loud right?" ask the gray-veiled woman.

"Will it be fitting Brother Adam said his Allahuakbar or fitting him prayer." replied the woman in white hijab earlier.

"prayer? iih I've never heard.." said the woman in the red headscarf.

"Sister Adam his prayer is rarely hardened his voice, but at that time his prayer was very long ask the Santi even though the length of his taste was briefly prayer if Brother Adam who prayed." said the white veiled woman.

'What does Brother Adam sound like when he prays? I became curious.' said Inner Kingdom.

"Eehh eehh see that Brother Adam just came out" said the woman in a gray hijab earlier. Raya immediately turned to the direction they pointed, a male figure in the eyes of Raya to her handsome added as if Adam's face was seen shining with his ablution water. Raya smiled at her, as well as the students earlier.

"God is very handsome there is no cure when it runs out of prayer." praise the woman in white hijab.

"Ayoo hunted Liv, said you want to realize the same feeling of doi." said the woman in a gray hijab.

"But I'm afraid of being rejected" replied the white veiled woman hesitantly.

"Or don't you just ask her what type of woman she likes" she said.

"Maybe that too, let's go Liv before the hunt goes home" said the veiled woman, her friends gave her encouragement. The woman named Livy also stepped closer to Adam, they did not even realize to present Malik next to Adam because it was too focused on Adam.

Seeing Livy's behavior, Raya also followed closely. He pretended to have just come out from the side of the prayer to the main terrace of the mosque which is only a few meters away from Adam.

"Assalamualaikum Adam's brother." said Livy.

"Eeeh there is Malik too." said Livy felt awkward, he thought Adam alone was there Malik too.

"What's up?" tanya Malik represents her best friend.

"Hmm this brother, I want to ask something to Adam" replied Livy.

"Ask what?" it was Adam's turn to ask.

"Look, sister.hmm I'm curious, what kind of woman does sister like?" livy asked with a heart that started to beat fast.

"Why ask that?" malik said, he and Adam did not know this woman at all but suddenly he asked a strange thing.

"I'm just curious" Livy replied, to be honest, he felt very awkward.

Raya was still watching the three of them, from a distance not too far away she could still hear their conversation. Moreover, he saw firsthand how Adam behaved in the presence of women who liked him, he could still look down and only answer as necessary.

"You like Adam, right?" malik asked suddenly and made Livy's face flushed red.

"You know that Adam doesn't like dating? so what's your purpose in asking that?" malik interrogated her.

"Sa.. I.." said nervous Livy, he's like in Malik's smooth press.

"Sorry yes but I don't intend to waste time going out, I'm sorry." so Adam replied before leaving but Livy's fingers held her arm.

"What are you doing?" adam asked without looking at Livy.

"So, am I wrong to have the same feelings, Brother Adam? Is it a sin that makes Brother Adam not want to open his heart to me? I've liked my sister since I first saw her, is there no intention to reciprocate my likes?" livy asked repeatedly, he held Adam's arm and it made his friends, Malik even Raya shocked.

'That woman can't read the situation?' inner Kingdom asked, her sense she wanted to approach Livy and release her arms from Adam but who is Kingdom? he doesn't even have any rights over Adam. Raya is just the same woman as Livy, who likes Adam and that's all she has.

"Let go of his hand" said Malik, who was getting upset.

"Jawab first Brother Adam I just let go." said Livy.

'Haahhh woman and her likes like this are what I do not like.' said inner Adam.

"We can talk very well so please let go of my arm" Adam said politely.

"But later." Livy's speech stopped.

"The man who held his words, I did so." said Adam, with one sentence Livy immediately released his grip from Adam.

"The essence of the feelings arising in the opposite sex is not wrong but the wrong way. For me the feeling called love is sacred, I do not want to tarnish it with a courtship that is considered adulterous by God. In Surah Al-Isra verse 32 reads,

وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا۟ ٱلزِّنَىٰٓ ۖ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ فَٰحِشَةً وَسَآءَ سَبِيلً

'And do not approach adultery, for adultery is a wicked deed. And a bad path." said Adam.

"I don't want to approach or taste that sin, I have the principle that one day I fall in love I will marry the woman immediately but if I fall in love while I have not been able to marry her then I will be quiet until the time comes, he said, so I can't return your feelings." continued Adam who was nodding in agreement by Malik.

"Aren't you afraid that what you're saying can be hostile to people?" livi asked, Adam's answer made him slapped.

"I never fear the judgment of others, I fear only God and the sins I commit. It is up to others to say what about me but I always believe in this one promise of God, you can check in Surah An-Nur verse 26, he said,

ٱلْخَبِيثَٰتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَٱلْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَٰتِ ۖ وَٱلطَّيِّبَٰتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَٱلطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَٰتِ ۚ أُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ مُبَرَّءُونَ مِمَّا يَقُولُونَ ۖ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةٌ وَرِزْقٌ كَرِيمٌ 

"Women are vile to vile men, and men are vile to vile women, while women are good to good men, and good men for good women. They are clean of what people accuse. They have forgiveness and a heavenly sustenance" Adam answered.

Raya gasped at the man's words, and, on the one hand he was amazed by the principles held by Adam but on the other hand he felt ashamed because men like himself were able to think mature for himself and for the good of people others. Raya feels shrivelled about her feelings towards Adam, she who hopes to be able to meet Adam at every opportunity but the man is so take care of her.

'Women whose hijab is as long as it's at her repulsion let alone one like me?' batin Raya.

Hearing Adam's answer made Livy understand that the man in front of him is difficult to reach. With her head bowed and the embarrassment covering her, Livy slowly walked towards where her slippers were she left feeling sad and at the follow of her friends behind.

"I hope he understands." said Adam softly, of course in his heart he prayed that the woman would open her heart.

"He must understand." Malik said, patting Adam on the shoulder.

"Let's go." said Malik, Adam also followed the steps of his best friend. Raya who was intending to return Adam's book also wrapped his intention, Raya returned to her home with a feeling of doubt.

Arriving at the house of Raya just say hello and enter the room, she did not even look at her mother who is now preparing something.

"What's wrong with Raya?" her mother said astonished.

Raya took her change of clothes and went out of the room to the bathroom, in the mind that still revolved on the words of Adam earlier made himself unfocused. At the dinner table, the two of them had lunch together.

"Why are you, son? since I came home, I noticed how sluggish it looks?" ask her mother.

"Aahh, it's okay ma'am." said Raya tried to return like her usual self. But a mother is still a mother, without a word from her child she can know something is wrong.

"You don't want to tell the same story, mom?" ask her mother again. Raya was silent for a moment, she felt confused but at the end of her she decided to pour out her heart.

"Mom, is it wrong if there is a woman who likes a man?" tanya Raya's.

"Likes? there is nothing wrong, right from the time of the Prophet Adam Allah has created a woman from her ribs to complete the Prophet Adam." answered his mother.

"But why would anyone reject a woman's feelings for just a few pieces of surah?" tanya Raya again, she asked this just to confirm the answer she heard from Adam earlier.

"That means he is a religious man, such a man is afraid of Allah and he even runs what is in the Qur'an." answered his mother.

"Why? do you like someone?" it was her mother's turn to ask.

"Yeah ma'am." replied Raya slowly.

"But Raya just give up because like her there is no chance." he continued with a down.

"The mother's son turned out to be pubescent ya.." said his mother then stroked the head of Raya.

'Mom, if it used to be Prophet Adam her partner Eve would be right now, right? Adam would fit in with his Eve and Eve could be anyone but among such possibilities his Kingdom does not include.' his inner flow.

The atmosphere in the afternoon did not feel as hot as the afternoon, after lunch, her mother asked Raya to get ready because this afternoon they will both go to a place that is foreign to Raya and a place that has not been visited by her mother for a long time new, grandma's house.

This is the first time Raya visited her maternal grandmother because during her time in Jakarta they never returned to Malang at all, Raya also only saw a photo of her grandmother from her mother's mobile phone. While her mother, Nina, was never allowed to go home by her family even at the orders of her biological mother she did not want to see Nina in front of her again.

Recalling the heartbreaking events made Nina dare not meet her mother, the article when Nina asked for the blessing of her mother when she was about to marry Zarman (her late father Raya) her mother did not give her blessing even threatened not to recognize Nina as her son again or child what will be born later is not part of the Muharto family.

But the marriage of his mother and father Raya can take place when Muharto (the real father of Nina) and his youngest brother named Aini came at once as a guardian and witness of his marriage with Zarman.

"Mom's okay?" tanya Raya looks at her mother's pale face and is only in reply to a smile by Nina. They set out using the grab car to the location given by his youngest brother, Aini. This time Nina ventured, along the way she hoped her mother would accept herself and her child.

Approximately 30 minutes they are on the way to look an old house with the Dutch style is still firmly standing among the houses that have evolved into a minimalist style. Nina's eyes began to glaze over, it's been a long time since she didn't come here just because of her mother's threats. Nina is so longed for her mother even felt worried when Aini said that their mother had started to get sickly because of her age.

"It's buk." said the grab driver.

"Thank you sir." said the mother and son.

"Mother..all will be well." said Raya holding her mother's hand, he did not know what his mother hid from him but when looking along the way his mother restless and pale made Raya want to say it.

"Thank you son." That's all the mother said before entering the gate of the pitch-black house.

Ttsookk!!!

Ttsookk!!!

Ttsookk!!!

Mother Raya knocked on the tightly closed door hoping that someone would open it, outside the terrace just now Raya saw a lot of slippers scattered which also indicates that inside was crowded.

Someone opened the door of the house, and a young woman in fashionable clothes came out from behind it. Her pretty face with hair painted in pastel pink was staring at the two of them from top to bottom.

"Who is it?" ask her.

"You must be Bang Mustaf's son huh? I am your fourth aunt, Aunt Nina." replied Nina with a friendly smile but the young lady's face suddenly turned sour.

"Yeahhhhh!!! come back here, yahh." cried the woman.

"Eehh, why are you screaming?" tanya Raya's.

"What lu? why did the aunt who was thrown away come here? grandma never even wanted to see aunty again" he said lightly.

"Well, can you be okay by the way? you're the same talk older should his polite dong." sahut Raya began to be upset.

"Why? don't like you? that's the fact!" press the woman. Emotionally provoked, she wanted to get closer to the woman who did not know the manners to teach her a lesson but her mother's hand held her back.

"What's this a fuss?!" ask someone with a familiar voice in Nina's ear.

"Mother.." said with eyes filled.