IQLIMA (The One Who is Missing)
CHAPTER 67

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Pop Iqlima's

My name is Iqlima Khairunnisa, I am the youngest of 4 children, but I am also the only one who has failed to make a household, I am a widow with 2 children who have stepped on a teenager, and I am also the only one who has failed to live in a household, my eldest son Rakana Gusta Pratama is 15 years old and has been sitting in High School while the youngest Reyna Gusti pratiwi is 12 years old.

My late father was a retired civil servant as well as my mother.My three older brothers followed in the footsteps of both my parents to become civil servants, only I was the youngest who was far from their expectations, and I was the youngest, don't be a public servant even college I never sat, I got married a week before the graduation announcement.

It is undeniable that regret must exist, I have never heard and obeyed the advice of my parents, who married at a young age, he said, even had heard the neighbor's words that were very very hurtful, they thought I was married because of the incident, but all that was not true, as bar-bar I was as free as I was, still I know the limits in the association, do not do anything embarrassing and demeaning myself dating even I never.indeed many friends who like even the light of my shooting to be a girlfriend, but I refused it on the grounds that I did not want to date, even when Agus (who is now an ex-husband) shot me to be his girlfriend I refused, but I gave him a choice if he really wanted me then he had to propose to me to be his bride, and he proved it.

The beginning of my marriage immediately followed my husband to his village, and that was the beginning of my slump, my association was limited, my husband was jealous, my husband was jealous, not yet the in-laws who interfere in my household affairs she is like a walking CCTV, which at all times reports her to a favorite child yes, and strangely my husband always trusts her without looking for evidence, he said, immature me is made to obey all the rules.

In the second year of the new wedding I could feel the comfort, when I came out of the beautiful in-laws' cottage and occupied my own home especially the firstborn was also present to greet us, I began to participate in social activities, I began to participate in social activities, volunteering at posyandu and other activities, enough to fill a lot of wasted time.

When Raka was 3 years old I was pregnant with a second child, and the husband had to work out of the island, at 3 months of pregnancy he left and promised to go home when it was near the time of birth, I can not prevent although the heart was not willing to separate, but for the sake of economic improvement I can only resign.

And that's where I started to feel my pain, I always had to endure my cravings because no one noticed and felt it, especially when the husband sends his income I can only resign because the mother-in-law who regulates everything, including shopping money that is very far from enough, said enough, I often confide in my son who does not understand what. 😌

It is very painful.the desire during pregnancy is never fulfilled.

Once I was taken away by the husband's family to his relatives who were once again pregnant, this rather sickly pregnancy wanted a meal, but when I told my mother, she nagged me instead, she said, that I'm shameless, when it might be my baby's.🤧

My husband came home when I was 8 months pregnant, and then I went back to my parents' house, because I wanted food so much and mom told me to go home with the promise she would make him, she said, but the balum was also done, my husband had already picked me up. by saying that the money he always sent could buy that so do not have to beg my parents, he was very angry, he was very angry, even though the money never reached my hands, the mother-in-law who arranged it, even for the needs of my baby, he did not want to take it out.

"Gapain buy a new one, but the former raka is also still good, so people don't be wasteful, look at your husband to have to cross the ocean to fulfill all your desires, you should be self-aware, he said, don't like to be troublesome!" that's all he said every time I said I wanted to buy this buy it for my baby, not for my personal needs.

I can only be silent never to refute his words.

My husband rebuked me when he found out that I had not bought anything for my baby.

"What money have I been sending you to buy, so that for the needs of the baby is not enough, I have to buy it too?" ask her wonder.

"Buy what A, do not buy goods to eat and snacks Raka is not enough." I explained.

"A 10 million dollars a month isn't enough?" sentak Suamiku, which actually makes me stunned, because all this time the mother-in-law only gave 300 thousand a week.

I was forced to borrow money from my sister to buy baby equipment that Raka used can not be used anymore.even until Reyna was born my husband did not spend any more money.

From there I began to rack my brain to meet all my needs, because my husband never gave me money other than to eat.

"You're too wasteful, can't manage expenses," that's always been the reason.his income is always left to his mother who reasoned for the cost of his sisters, who, alana's tuition fee was borne by her husband.

My brain is quite dull, so everything I learn quickly caught in the memory of my brain, and I can use it all by opening the way of business, I make various kinds of food with the capital given by my mother. until because of that spirit I managed to establish a cottage industry with neighbors who have been my friends.In the first chapter I have written what my activities are.

Until when I fell ill, and the effort that I had been pioneering by crawling until it could walk was destroyed instantly.all because of the intervention of my ex-husband's family who was not care for it.

Like the word has fallen on the stairs that's what happened at that time, when I was sick, my efforts destroyed both my parents died, my parents died, and my husband did not care that he was engrossed in his hobby even with no heart to feed me with his ex-girlfriend, until I decided to leave the house and live in the house left by my parents.

With the advice and help of my little friend I started running a business that had been destroyed and now managed to even open a small shop.

I feel happy even though I have to lose my family, I was divorced when I was in a coma due to KDRT.

And when I recovered and even ran from the slump, he. My ex-husband came back asking me to refer, I always responded with a joke, I hope he does not amnesia. which makes me forget what happened to me first all the consequences of his actions.

Many have advised me to go back to her, including my sister and my best friend Linda.

I never blamed them, who wanted to see me happy, a complete family, Agus and his family had changed, he said, but I don't know....

My heart has not been able to accept it, honestly the feeling is still there, maybe I can forgive all his actions but. the pain always sliced my heart even though I tried to brush it off.

Now that I'm just giving up on Fate, I don't dare to be studded to blaspheme it or even worship it. Let it flow in its groove.

if indeed he is still a match with me hopefully, he really has changed, and even if he is not a match I am sincere.

And for sure now I'm comfortable in a position like this, living three lives with my children, running a business with my best friend.

If someone asks, aren't you lonely??

There must be, I want like others to live happily with a whole family, but I do not dare to open my heart, I fear the same incident will come back, I am still traumatized.