Is This Really Love?
part 2 introduction

 Heloo my name introduction twilight gem, yes I come from a family that was less able to start our life was good but after the disaster happened we had a lot of shortcomings let alone our father had been picked up by God when the disaster came.

now that I'm 19 years old, I just finished my MA school yesterday. My next wish was to go to college with a major that I dreamed of but because of limitations with the current economy, I finally gave up my dream for a while by starting to find a job a few years later

And thank God I got a good job to help my family's economy

I have a few brothers

the first boy is about 25 years old now he is again wandering in recent years he has no news at all, never got his contact but can not be contacted

the third daughter was about 17 years old, now she is still in school at 2nd High School

the last boy was about 15 years old and he was still in school

we 4 are not siblings, he said I am the child they got when they went on vacation 19 years ago, they pity to see me who was crying nagis on the beach.

I don't know exactly what they meant at the time. When they talked about it when I was 7, they talked about it when I was sleeping

But until this moment became a big question mark for me, I was eager to find out the real truth.

I'm afraid I'm disappointed if it's true

actually I have some peculiarities about the attitude of my father when he was alive, he seemed not to want to talk much to me, different stories if some of my brothers who told me about his father must be very enthusiastic to listen to him

honestly from childhood I am not so sure if I am really loved by people around me?, do I not deserve people right people care about me. but that might just be my gut feeling

And my mother now works nights in a place where religion is forbidden, well you must know where that is.

" if not doing this, which other work can quickly make a lot of money ha? "

"if our lives were as they used to be, this wouldn't have happened"

that's my mom's rearranged answer if I ask her why, and she's so upset especially if I don't bring anything home

for my sister they play more outside with alek alek wants to study groups with his schoolmates

when the night came between us no one started talking, they were busy with what they were thinking

we don't have a hangout, dinner together, watching tv with all of them now nothing.

yes, although I used to be not too the main character in the family at least I became a figure among them, but I felt quite in harmony in it.

now everything is more different as if it will be in the house like a stopover to sleep alone, go home late in the morning.

not not not not without being grateful but whether you can ask for more so that everything returns to the way it used to be at least a little more colorful

for other families, I don't know where the house is and who my family is because no one has introduced me.

and I just hope after this there's incredible happiness that I get

may my fatigue now be lillah for me aamiin.