METHANOIA
The First Heartbreak

Aunt Sana's body shook violently. Palpitation. He could barely hold his body. He could only sit on the white bench in the hallway of the Hospital. His pair of hands still left the rancid smell of Sasha's blood. Aunty Sana closed her eyes with tears that were increasingly wetting her. Although the word critical period doctor has passed, but still, the attempted suicide of Sasha was enough to shock him. After three years Sasha never intended to kill herself, she returned to throwing tantrums.

"Aante!"

Patra stopped right in front of Aunt Sana with a gasp of breath. His face was pale, pale. Aunt Sana looked at Patra with a disappointed face. He got up from his seat and hit Patra on the shoulder.

"Why are you doing this, Patra... Aunt please, help Aunt. Aunty can't afford to lose Sasha."

"Auntie relax, okay? There's Patra. Maafin Patra's. Patra promised not to tell Sasha why else."

Patra leads Aunt Sana to sit back on her bench. Patra could feel a great vibration from Aunt Sana's frail body. Patra's heart felt like it was melting. It should be that he is not yet time to shake Sasha's health. If there is a question, why did Patra care so much about Sasha. Patra was also at a low point when her father and her mother died. Only Dani, the mother's younger brother and Sasha's family helped her. Aunty Sana and Sasha are a second family to him. So he felt like he wanted to participate in Sasha's recovery.

"I'm sorry, Sya.." lirih Patra while holding tightly the hands of aunt Sana who was so cold.

-oOo

Patra clasped Sasha's weak hand. Sasha's left hand is still attached to a blood transfusion. His suicide attempt this time was enough to consume a lot of blood. Patra was increasingly concerned to see the incision on Sasha's wrist which now increased one more scratch that the wound was still wet. Sasha tried many times to end her life. He's really traumatized. And Patra, almost made Sasha die, because of her selfishness that yearns for freedom...

Hiring Zeline... .

Patra let out a long sigh, checking her phone. There's a WA from Zeline, but he doesn't intend to read it. Haven't.

"Patera... ."

Patra put down her phone, looking at Sasha who started to open her eyes while calling her name softly.

"Yes.you are awake. You're making me anxious, you know."

"Why are you here? Why do you care?"

"Yes. sorry. Sorry... ."

Sasha smiled weakly, "You don't have to apologize. You deserve to be free of me, Patra."

Patra shook her head slightly, "I need you to recover. Not freedom. This engagement, it's not a charade for me, Sya. I promise."

"Patera... ."

"You calm down, huh? I'll be by your side. I promise." said Patra while stroking Sasha's hair.

In the doorway, Aunt Sana looked at her daughter with a tired face. He smiled thinly full of relief. However, on one side of her feelings, she felt guilty towards Patra.

He seems to be pushing Patra to take responsibility for Sasha.

"Sorry, aunt.and Thank you, Patra... ."

-oOo

"He hasn't read my WA... ." Zeline put her phone back next to her pillow.

He stretched out his hand, feeling the softness of his bed. He hasn't heard from Patra. Without realizing it, he worried for Patra. The last expression at their meeting, was quite stressful. On the other hand, Zeline's feelings grew even more riled up after getting recognition from Muta.

Mutual liked. Loving her. Of love?

Zeline let out a small groan while covering her face with a pillow. What's he supposed to do? He has not understood his life lately.

He feels an unusual vibration in a Patra and a Mutual feels an unusual vibration in him. It was like living on FTV.

But...

"Did I fall in love with him.. A Leaf Sword?"

The idea of the question made his chest flutter. Is he really in love? Then Mutual? What should he tell Mutual?

-oOo

Patra turned her head and found that Dani was enjoying her breakfast of bread. Ah, come to think of it, Patra hasn't filled her stomach since yesterday. He can even just go home to just clean himself up. Patra stepped onto the dinner table and took a loaf of bread with chocolate jam.

"Betters."

Om Dani let out a long sigh, "Om hard to hear all the details of the story from Sana."

Patra chewed slowly on her bread, enjoying how her calmness began to slowly fill up.

"Om also saw you with that girl at the cafe yesterday."

Patra stopped from eating and looked at Dani. Patra gulped down a glass of water that was on the table and fell silent.

"That girl changed your outlook, didn't she?" ask Om Dani.

"Maybe. But not now." said Patra.

Om Dani smiled faintly, "Nobody knows about what will happen later. But, you also do not need to curb yourself too much on Sasha. To be honest, Sasha's mentality is not entirely your responsibility. He's not like this because of you either."

"But Patra has a hand to make him recover."

"Sampe when? Three years passed, but just one day of your freedom, Sasha was already fragile again. That means, your engagement method, not the right solution."

Patra cringing. He digested the sentence om Dani and realized if the speech om Dani right. But the urge to return his buds, was quite great. He felt like giving back.

"But that doesn't mean this engagement method is wrong. If you have to continue this, but you are not comfortable, maybe you can start slowly away. Not directly decided." continued om Dani.

Patra's speechless. There's a point too. Rather than having to let go straight away, slowly moving away for Sasha to get used to, it might be possible to come up with a solution. But, can it? Sasha is a very possessive girl.

-oOo

Zeline wears a white suit with her name written, Dr. Zeline Zakeisha. He looked at himself in front of the mirror. Although only limited to apprenticeship, but there was a sense of pride that crawled his heart. A sense of tension comes with his long breath.

"Excite, Zeline."

However, Zeline was stunned for a moment. He reached into the cell phone in the pocket of the doctor's suit and stared at his cell phone. His WA message to Patra is still unread by the sword leaf. On the other hand, there are dozens of messages sent by Reksa. To be honest, until now he did not have enough courage to open the message. Also, he hasn't answered anything about mutual recognition. He just felt unprepared.

"Zeline, come on. All have been gathered in the hall." said Jena, one of his colleagues who participated in an internship at Bumi Sehat Hospital.

Zeline turned her head and nodded as she put her phone back in her suit pocket and walked up to Jena. Just opened the door of the dressing room in one hallway of the RS, he faced directly with the figure he was waiting for.

"Patra... ," said Zeline.

Patra was silent for a moment. They look at each other in silence. Zeline felt something pop. Apparently he kept his longing in silence towards the young man. However, the young man was silent wordlessly with a cold aura.

"Lo cok-."

"Patra..," a soft voice made Patra turn her head. Pun with Zeline who is looking for the origin of the soft voice.

A girl in a patient suit and pushing an infusion pole, stared softly at Patra. Although in the dress of the patient, but in no way reduce the beauty of the girl who looked thin and pale.

Patra walked over to the girl in silence, without a word. Without a word to Zeline. Zeline looked silently at Patra who slowly led the girl into a treatment room. Samar, Zeline can hear the word 'honey' from Patra's lips. And that word, breaks down the longing that originally arisen.

"So that's her fiance." Zeline gulped as hard as she could, holding back the sudden pain present slipping, "Beautiful... ."

-oOo

TB