My Cruel Little Empress
Chapter 34
I yawned for the umpteenth time this afternoon. Last night I kept reading basic sewing and embroidery textbooks that always managed to make me feel sleepy. Either because every writing in the book that I read is very boring, or because I am indeed who will never be able to like craft arts lessons other than music.
I sighed and put back the book I read. I lay my head on the table with one of my arms outstretched and made a pillow. After just finishing the lesson accompanied by scholar Yu Zhu, I then turned to my contest and resumed my reading last night with the basics of sewing and embroidery.
Even though I know I am smart enough, just reading it without practicing it for me will be very difficult for me to understand. I needed to practice it so that I could understand every explanation in the craft book I read without having to imagine it and in the end it would only give my head pain because it still did not understand even though I have imagined every step and way - ways.
"Huwaa. I'm hungry, but I'm sleepy" I complained.
"It would be a good idea if May ate first before going to bed" said crown prince Liang who came to visit the Shan pavilium located in the palace in the western bangian of Zhang's kingdom.
I then looked up at crown prince Liang for a moment before dropping my head back on my arm that had held my head and became a pillow for me.
"Do I have to ask the ladies to bring you lunch?" ask the crown prince Liang who has now managed to sit on the right seat beside me.
"But gege, I'm sleepy" I complained
"It would be better if the stomach fills first before you go to sleep" said crown prince Liang "If you are lazy to eat, let me bribe you" haggling crown prince Liang who managed my eyes that had closed then opened.
I then woke up and straightened my body, I turned to look at crown prince Liang with a glaring gaze before saying "Gege I am no longer a child" my protest which then managed to make crown prince Liang chuckle.
"If you realize you're not a kid anymore, then don't complain too much. You just need to eat and then rest" replied crown prince Liang who then moved from his seat "I want to continue my writing, so you have to listen to my words just now" he added then left me.
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After finishing my lunch, the drowsiness that had held me back eventually disappeared. I, who could not close my eyes to rest this afternoon, rushed to my dressing room, when I got there, the door of the secret room was wide open. I hurried to step into the secret room in my residence, as I entered the still dirty room, the figure of crown prince Liang sitting and painting on the table in the middle of the secret room first greeted my vision.
I approached the crown prince Liang who seemed so busy with his paintings, so focused on painting and pouring all his inspiration in rough drawings on paper. He didn't even notice my presence observing every scratch on the paper on the table surface. I frowned confused when I could not find any form of pencil strokes on the paper. Feeling dizzy thinking about the result of crown prince Liang's drawing, I chose to leave it and observe the secret room that still remained the same in my memory.
I don't know when the emperor's father along with the special soldiers of Zhang's kingdom made the secret place, either, all I know is that the emperor's father has calculated and prepared everything carefully for what is to come. Unfortunately all his calculations and predictions then had to fall apart because of my egoism.
I am the weakness of the Zhang kingdom, more precisely the weakness of the Zhang royal family. I who was so weak and stupid was so easily deceived that I did not realize to my selfishness that brought words to Zhang's kingdom.
I closed my eyes which were starting to feel hot, the memories were painful. And perhaps the Creator is now punishing me with the remembrance of all the terrible events of my selfishness and choice. I inhaled as much air as I felt my chest immediately feel tightness, I then exhaled slowly and repeated it several times until I began to feel calm.
In my life this time I just need to be smarter and tougher. I can no longer waver against my usual feelings for young general Wu Cheng, let alone all the ugliness and ignorance he has shown me in my past life or in the nightmares I have experienced.
I have written all their plans, even I have given copies of them to Emperor Wei's father. Even though I had told the emperor's father and asked him to make preparations before that incident, I also had to think of another plan if at any time other events would appear beyond my memory.
"May may?"
The heavy voice that called out to me then managed to pull my consciousness completely from the daydream, I who was currently turning my back to crown prince Liang then turned to face my brother.
"When are you here?" ask crown prince Liang
"Why did Gege ask like that? This secret room is mine, I certainly deserve to be here because this secret room is part of Shan's pavilions" I replied a little sniffly
Crown Prince Liang then rolled his eyes lazily, he then said "I just asked, besides who forbade you to come here?" ask the crown prince Liang who then returned to continue the painting.
I blinked for a while before digesting the crown prince's question just now, I thought that my brother didn't like my presence. It turned out that crown prince Liang only purely asked, I alone might think of it as excessive.
"Gege forgive me" asked me who realized my mistake
Crown Prince Liang then stopped painting and looked at me who was still standing in my position, smiling and saying "No problem, I know you anyway if you seem to be in the middle of a lot of thought" his reply that managed to surprise me for a moment, yet I quickly controlled my expression.
I smiled and said "I was just thinking about Bo Qing, is the training going well?" my question is of course a diversion. I was afraid that crown prince Liang who was so sensitive and had strong reasoning and instincts would smell my lies.
"He is a talent, if you are going to let him go, I will gladly accept Bo Qing to be Shi Rong's constant warrior" replied crown prince Liang who then made me glare.
"I won't give Bo Qing to gege!" resolutely
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**TBC
Friday, 12 June 2020**