Old Love Hasn't (Surely) Returned
CLB(t)K 5

By evening, Annisa was already sitting on the sofa in front of the television with Damar beside her. After dinner Annisa invites Damar to talk, and here they are now.

"Sister?" Call Annisa start the conversation.

Damar looked over with his eyebrows raised next door.

"Why?" Only that short question was capable of Annisa.

Damar took a long breath.

"Listen to me! I'll tell you everything, don't interrupt me!" Damar warned.

"I had a boyfriend at the end of High School, it was not easy to approach him no matter what my efforts were he always avoided and away from me, until when I graduated High School I once again asked him if he wanted to be my lover? And he answered yes." Damar paused for a moment, his eyes closed imagining how he conquered a beautiful girl he had not seen for a long time.

"I don't know how I should express my happiness that day, the girl I've liked for a long time finally became my lover I was too happy then, we did everything together to decide on a university together, he said, I was even willing to defy my parents who wanted me to continue my studies abroad, I did everything for her no one could stop me when I was in love. We dated like lovers who were kasmaran, until one time we passed our boundaries right during the 1st semester holiday, we're aware that we've crossed a line and if we're not careful it'll produce something for sure." Damar fell silent again, he was trying to organize his heart because he remembered the thing he had so desperately wanted to forget.

"She's pregnant" Damar said "When entering the second semester, she told me that she was pregnant with my son, of course I believe because I was the first and only one to ever fuck her, I tried to calm her down trying to convince her that I would take responsibility with our son and I also promised not to leave her I even dared to swear that she was sure of me, but what I did receive was she panicked that she felt that her happiness would be taken away by the baby in her womb, he still wants to be free to play and hang out with his friends he blames me for our son because for him me and the baby in his womb is an unlucky carrier for him. I tried to calm her down as much as I could, I asked her to go see my parents to convince her that I would really take responsibility and still give her time to have fun with her friends," damar's voice faintly became trembling withstanding the cries.

"I wasn't angry that I had to take even the punches from my father, all I thought about was his happiness and our baby, long story short my parents finally melt and give up because I also do not want to be separated from him, after getting my parents' approval I went to his house to see him hoping my parents' blessing could melt his ego a little bit, but it turns out he went somewhere, I tried to find him for days, I tried to find him, I asked his friends one by one they also did not know where my lover went when it was a long time ago I was desperate, I had tried to find him but failed, I seemed to have lost the direction of my life at that time, I had lost my direction, then when I had started to return to my routine he suddenly appeared again in front of me, of course I was happy I hugged him and asked him the news but he was just silent, just silent, until he said he was going abroad somewhere, I asked him how me and our son were, but he kept quiet and answered nothing," the tears that Damar end up falling by itself without being prevented.

"She said that when she disappeared she was being.." Damar's words stuck in her throat as if reluctant to tell her old wounds, Annisa pityingly stroked Damar's shoulders to calm down.

"He was aborting his son." Damar and Annisa's tears broke at the time, Annisa did not expect that Damar had such a past, and she did not know that he had a past, Annisa and Damar were both stunned in their tears.

"Didn't he see my sincerity and happiness then? Doesn't he know the future I've designed for him and our son? Why did he have the heart to kill a baby who had not even been born into this world? If she doesn't want it at least she tells me and hands the child over to me but don't kill her, I'll take care of her if she doesn't want to take care of the child I'll take care of her Annisa! I'm willing to take care of my son." Annisa hugged Damar, she tried to calm Damar even though her own tears were falling would not stop.

"Because of that I no longer want to fall in love, I can no longer fall in love, I've turned off and thrown away love itself, so I'm sorry if all this time I couldn't return your feelings, you're too good for a bastard like me!" Said Damar while staring at Annisa.

"Sister.." Annisa's speech was cut off by Damar's words.

"If you think I've never come into contact with a woman, that's right! But it's on campus, out there I've slept with other women many times to vent Nisa's heartache, so don't expect more from me, you're a good girl you should also get a good guy not like me, I'm too much of a sin to appeal to you." Damar looked at Annisa with his eyes.

"So you want us to get divorced?" Not lost the shock of Annisa when hearing the story of Damar now the shock she felt increased with the words of Damar just now.

"The decision is in your hands, you have the right to decide, I will obey whatever you want, but think carefully before making your choice!" Damar said seriously.

"Don't you want to part with me?" Annisa asked to make sure to come back.

Damar was silent, he did not reply to Annisa's words. He himself did not know what to do all the decisions he left to Annisa.

"Sir Damar answered me!" Annisa shakes Damar's body, she wants to hear a definite answer from her husband, she is also not willing to divorce from Damar, but Annisa thinks Damar would want this.

"Sleep, we'll talk about this next time!" Damar decided to end this conversation.

Annisa stood up from her seat she stared in disbelief at her husband, the husband she thought would turn out to be giving her a difficult choice.

Annisa thinks she will get attention from Damar after Damar tells her story, she thinks Damar will beg her to stay by his side until Damar can love her as he loves Damar.

But it was all his own thinking, it was all his delusion. Damar turned out to be completely numb even to his wife.