Tears On Top of the Tare
Chapter 7 (Amaira's Past)

Happy Reading's.

Amaira went into the room, she was silent without answering Icha's question. Is he capable? The question hangs because Amaira did not answer it.

At present, a 20-year-old woman can only look at the Qur'an mushaf that she has not opened after the Magrib prayer.

Amaira now asked herself, is she capable? Is he able to endure the jealousy and heartache when he sees Azka and Icha making out at all times in front of his eyes.

For example, this morning, after morning prayers, Amaira came out of the room as usual. He's going to the kitchen to cook breakfast.

However, there is an unusual sight in the kitchen, Amaira saw Icha was already struggling in front of the stove, Maira could smell the cooking that was quite appetizing.

Amaira silently watched Icha who was turning her back. The woman's waistline hair looks wet. There were red marks on Icha's neck that were not covered because the wet hair was clamped up.

Amaira knew what that meant, she was sure that last night the newlyweds had already done the first night. Somehow imagining that Amaira's heart ached, her chest felt tight.

Amaira should have known that it was going to be like this, she should have known why her husband wouldn't touch her even though they've been married for months.

'Astagfirullahal'adhim!'

Amaira had repeatedly said Istighfar so that her heart was calm. Didn't choose not to separate from Azka was his own desire.

Allowing Azka to remarry was also her choice that she took with full awareness. The consequences of this have also been Amaira thought and contemplation.

"Maira, are you awake?" It turns out that his existence was known by Amaira. The beautiful woman smiled brightly, her face also beaming.

Amaira nodded and smiled, "can Maira help Mbk Icha cook?" Maira offers herself, she will step forward but her movements stop when she hears Azka's interrupting voice.

"Now you don't have to cook anymore, Maira, there is already Icha who will cook food for us," said Azka who immediately walked over to Icha and kissed his second wife's cheek. "You're so beautiful, baby," Azka whispered, making Icha's face red.

It was inseparable from the sight of Amaira who immediately lowered her head, holding back her tears that were about to fall. Just like this, Amaira had felt pain until she had to hold back tears. Then will he still be able tomorrow.

"Maira wants to go out first," he said in order to escape from two people who are kasmaran in front of him.

"You run early in the morning, Ma'am," Icha replied, possibly greeting her and leaving.

Amaira hated herself, who could not keep her heart from getting hurt.

****

Days after that Amaira's life had no development, still about the same thing that saw the intimacy of two people who were drunk with love as when Icha was cooking, which Azka embraced from behind. Or when I saw Azka who went to work and Icha would kiss her husband's hand and Azka kissed Icha's forehead later.

Amaira felt that she had never been considered by Azka, was she not also his wife? But is it appropriate if Maira tells Azka if the man is one-sided.

No, actually here the wrong one is Maira because clearly Azka has already let go of her to get another man who foam loves her. But Amaira did not. She can't, Amaira can't if she has to be with someone else.

Let only her and her Lord know why she cannot part with her husband. For Amaira had no one else in the world but Azka. Men who have been since childhood often play with her and protect her.

Let it be that Azka would not touch him, for perhaps Amaira could not if she had to give an inner living to Azka. Amaira is afraid if she is still traumatized by being touched by men.

Amaira fears that she is still trembling if Azka asks for her right. Perhaps because of the incident three years ago, the incident that really made him destroyed and despised as a candy. The events that made Amaira want to end her own life.

At that time, only Grandpa Imran heard his screams because the distance of their house was close and the old man came to his aid when Amaira had lost her chastity. Imran's grandfather was late and he was so sorry for not coming since 10 minutes ago, when he heard Amaira's shrieking scream.

*****

"No!! Nay!! Don't do that!!" Amaira awoke from her sleep with cold sweat pouring down her face.

The woman immediately beristighfar many times by holding her chest that shook violently. It's been so long since that dream has appeared again. Amaira squeezed out her own trembling hand. He tried to get up to step into the bathroom. Amaira had to take ablution water for the fear to go away. He wants immediate respect for Khaliq's law. Only that could make him calm and strong.

" O Allah, O Lord, O Almighty, O Most Powerful One, O Most Powerful One, O Most Strong One. I ask Thee with Thy power and Thy strength that Thou mayest give unto all my strength and all my limbs, born and inward. O Allah, make a strong servant to continue living, I am sure that you will give salvation to the servant, forgive all the sins of the servant."

Amaira was moved in her tears, occasionally wiping her wrists with a prominent line. Where on the wrist it was once a witness if Amaira ever wanted to end her life.

Seriate.