The Hidden Princess
Does Dad Hate me?
Reiner rushed over to Jonathan, but he had just been able to rest in peace but again Xaveryn did something dangerous. Reiner was quite surprised when he found Xaveryn daring to slash his own wrist. Reiner's body was constantly shaking because he was so worried about Xaveryn's condition. Fortunately, Jonathan saves Xaveryn before it's too late. Now Xaveryn must lie unconscious while carrying a sense of despair that plagues her heart.
Jonathan always accompanied the princess and waited awake by the bedside. No matter how tired he was, Xaveryn's safety was paramount to him. Jonathan regrets taking Xaveryn to the tower, which is only inhabited by his daughter with the nanny.
“Why are you doing all this? What the hell happened to you? Did my decision hurt you? Am I being too selfish to lock you up in this uninhabited tower? Please forgive Dad, Xaveryn ...,” shrieked Jonathan as he clasped Xaveryn's cold hand.
Jonathan thought about the matter and made him unable to close his eyes. Jonathan's sad eyes did not escape Xaveryn, he blamed himself for what happened to Xaveryn. Until the early hours of the morning, Xaveryn's fingers moved to show that the little girl would soon be unconscious. Jonathan flinched from his daydream, his gaze turning expectantly as Xaveryn's eyelids were about to open.
“Xaveryn ... can you hear Dad's voice?” Jonathan opened his voice, he gently rubbed Xaveryn's head.
Xaveryn blinked her eyes repeatedly, before she wished she never woke up again in the room. However, his death wish was broken by the father who came to save him. With tears falling from the corner of Xaveryn's eyes, she felt desperate and wanted to give up on her life.
“Why am I still alive? Why did everyone save me? I don't want to live anymore .. I'm tired .. I'm so tired ...,” Xaveryn shrewdly reaches out to Jonathan's listeners.
Jonathan's eyes were perfectly rounded, he didn't expect his daughter to say anything that would make him mute.
“What ... what did you say? Why did you say you didn't want to live anymore? Are you disappointed in Father who locked you up in this tower?” Jonathan's voice rang out, he almost cried from Xaveryn's words.
Xaveryn glanced at Jonathan as she slowly rose from her position, she rediscovered the figure of the man she had long since missed. The figure of the man who locked him in this tower for his safety, although in the end Jonathan had to sacrifice his life even before the age of Xaveryn immature. Xaveryn's cry broke even more, she could not help but hold tightness in her chest, how frightening the imperial shadow was after Jonathan's death.
“Daddy ... Why is Dad here? Why did Dad come to visit me? I'm lonely, I'm afraid .. Bad dad locked me in the tower with Annita. Ever since I was born, I've only ever seen a portrait of Dad, I've never met him even once. Don't you love me?”
How heartbroken Jonathan was to hear Xaveryn say, it was unexpected that his daughter thought that far. He never visited Xaveryn, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love Xaveryn but he does it all for Xaveryn's safety.
“Dad loves you, of course Daddy loves you because you are my only daughter—”
“Not so, Xaveryn .. Dad didn't mean that, Daddy—”
“Is this because Mom died after giving birth to me? You think I'm the cause of Mom's death? Even my three brothers never visited me or just sent me a letter. You hate me, don't you? Could you hate my golden hair? I did not ask to be born, I did not ask to have golden hair. But, why? Why is everything happening to me? I'm just a kid, but why does it feel so heavy? I should have just died, this way there would be no more people hurt by my presence ...”
Jonathan quickly carried Xaveryn's body into his arms, how fragile his heart was at that time. Word by word that was ejected from the tiny lips was an outpouring of pain that had been held back.
“No, Xaveryn, no. Don't think so, Dad never hated you and your three Sisters never hated you, we all loved you, my daughter. Your mother did not die because of you, she was happy to conceive until she gave birth to you. You never forget the beauty of your mother's smile when you hear your cry. Can you get rid of those bad thoughts? You're my daughter, there's no way Dad hates you.”
Implied by the great love of the word spoken, this is the second time the father said that he loved Xaveryn as sincerely as he did.
‘The first time Dad hugged me, in my first life, I only met Dad once when Dad was at the end of his life. Dad died of illness, and I didn't even have time to hug him. My poor father, if you knew I never blamed you for locking me up in this tower. I know I really want to protect you from those who are after me. I know it ...’
Xaveryn's sobs never stopped, she said nothing more than to cry at the hug in Jonathan's arms. The bottom of his heart was so broken, the suffering for the previous six lives he had brought up until now.
“Daddy .. Please take me with you to the palace, I don't want to stay here, I want to continue beside Dad. Don't throw me out, I promise I will do my best, I promise to do my role as Princess, but please take me to the palace. Take it easy, I will be a useful child.”
It seemed that Jonathan had already changed his mind first, he was intending to bring Xaveryn back to the palace with him. Remembering what happened yesterday left him powerless to leave Xaveryn in the tower.
“Alright, I'll take you home to the palace. Stop crying, you don't have to do anything. Just sit still, I make sure you can live happily, as long as you don't do anything dangerous anymore,” Jonathan replied with all his might to hold back his cries.
Afterwards, Jonathan laid down beside Xaveryn, sleeping in the same bed. Xaveryn accidentally puts Jonathan to sleep with her magic, knowing that Jonathan has not slept at all.
‘Maybe I did have to live my life to the end, but this time it is much different than before. I went back to my five-year-old, in my last life I was not given a chance to control my magic. I also only found out I had magic when I was twenty, so I had to learn to control this magic so that I could protect my family from destruction.’