The Summer In Your Eyes
A Heart that Thumped

Wakey asleep. Our skin was smashed by mosquitoes

"Let's try to gain weight. Maybe half a kilo" Nancy joked

"If it were like that. People will not diet and surrender themselves to mosquitoes"

"Diet donation paths" we both giggled.

"Well after breakfast. We plant lemongrass so that mosquitoes are reduced" I said

Nancy's stomach was rumbling but I had no groceries in the fridge except eggs and milk. I took her to the vegetable harvest on the rooftop. Fresh green lettuce, shiny tomatoes, mustard, coy pack, chili-cabean, eggplant and so on are here. We harvest enough to cook. Vegetables are always fresh.

"As a commercial person, why don't you sell vegetables? "

"Unthought of me. Okay, I'll put it on the list"

In the kitchen Nancy washes vegetables and fries eggs, the rest I cook

"Rather than buying eggs, why don't you just raise them"

"Good idea. I'll raise chickens, cows, sheep.. "

"fish"

"Yes it feels like playing a game of farmer or harvestmoon" I laughed

Finished breakfast Nancy unceasingly looked at my gloomy painting. Painting a bunch of withered baby birth flowers. The tie of the rope depends on a nail. Flowers do not touch water. When there was a stream of water underneath that spilled from a bottle of red wine.

"Why am I so sad" Nancy said

"Can I buy it? " he's interested

"It was not sold or given to anyone" I replied

That's the painting the day I remember the scene at Clara's wedding. It depicts obsessive love

When I smile at Sav. He turned his head to the side, beckoning to take him somewhere. A deserted place.

"For a while, like, I need to go back" I stopped the chatter and walked over to Sav.

We walked a little far away avoiding the crowds.

"How are you? "

"You dare ask that? " i laughed cynically

"After the nights that we once passed. I miss that time. "

"You're crazy, yeah" I tried to stay sane to hear his lines

"I'm sorry" He's been saying it over and over again. I let out a breath

"Pain, sorry. Is that fair? " of course it's not a question

"After seeing you're okay. I hate you more" I smile again

"Why do you smile when you say bad things" he marveled

"Why are you apologizing? obviously, that doesn't change anything. Saying sorry is a big sin for you! " my word is sniffled

I was the one who never wasted my feelings. We used to be together. I expressed love but I'm sorry. But his best friend said he loved me. I don't know what's really going on. He asked me to wait without saying it. But one thing to remember. A man is a simple creature, if he doesn't fight for you he doesn't love you.

"What you need to remember. I'm down because of you. I became who I am now, not because of you. Not fixing the past. Not because I want to show myself to others. Except because I need myself" I said

"Please don't love me. Anyway it's been years" her pinta. Her eyes are glazed

"Who dare you tell me? Whoever I love is none of your business. I can't do it just because I want to. Love is not something that can be controlled.. So please don't expect me to be happy, if you're the reason I'm hurt"

The rain blew us that night. I just left her, rushed to the toilet. Before I became a mermaid and tears came out of the fertilizer. So sad