
This is the second day I write this. I'm sorry, I need more rest with my condition right now. Yesterday it took me hours to write it down so the nurse had to give me sleeping pills because I lied about not being able to sleep. Well, it might not be a lie. Yesterday I had trouble sleeping because I was thinking about how I was going to tell you everything.
I'm guessing maybe this will reach you the day after my death. A day I could write at least a few words. And yes this is one of the things I have to do. I can't look at you with guilt. And I'm really sorry, for not thinking about your feelings. But I still hope, we can still meet and laugh together for the last time.
The weather is so bright today. I don't think it's the right time to talk about how sad the three of us were in that bad time.Today I just wanted to tell you how I lived my days in this room. So empty and so empty. Maybe that's what this place is like with bad weather that hit a few days ago. And I'm here, alone.
My mammy? My mother died 3 years ago. My papa? My dad was out of town looking for me for operating expenses. But I don't know, 4 months ago my father was never seen again. I'm also here still waiting for how he is and how he is. And yes, I really need you right now. Hugely. I'm sorry, I said something you didn't need to hear. But can I continue this?
actually I'm not too lonely, there are a lot of nurses here who take care of me. Let me introduce one of them. Anita, I mean anita's mother. She is one of the very good nurses. He has no children, but that's not why he loves me. Well that might be one of the reasons, but she is indeed a very good mother of her attitude. He loves everyone here, from kesya, cika, and Naya. The naya? Similar to your name. Not similar overall, just what distinguishes the prefix. And you guys are kind of alike, from your attitude you are pretty cold people, but actually loving people.
Especially yeah? Honestly, I was quite confused as to what to say. My daily life here is just sleeping, eating, and walking around the hospital if I am still strong and allowed by the doctor. Oh yeah, I remember. It was morning. The weather is not too bright. And I shouldn't have forced the nurse to take me. Maybe it was about eight in the morning. I went for a walk around the hospital as usual. Then suddenly, a huge flash appeared and it terrified me. My breathing is irregular and I am so messed up. Quickly, Anita's mother gave me some water and tried to calm me down. Look, he's very attentive to me.
Should I end it now? It's still 11 and I'll be very bored later. Maybe, I'll continue when I finish lunch.
......................
Today the weather is clear, I want to take a walk outside for a while to enjoy the coolness of the day, but before that I have to take a nap. It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon. And before the nurse came in, I had to go to sleep. Strangely enough they could tell I was sleeping well or was just closing my eyes. For today it may be here only. Maybe tomorrow I will continue.
......................
And yes, it's me. I want to continue this and end it, really. It's 8 p.m. The nurses gave me sleeping pills, but they didn't let me sleep. It's been 2 hours since they left me with sleeping pills already in my stomach, but it doesn't seem like a sleeping pill, maybe it's just a sedative for me who just had a panic attack this afternoon. They'll probably be back by 10 to see if I'm asleep or not. And tomorrow, I hope the day will be as bright as today.
...----------------...
Thank You for Your Visit. In the future, please help. And apologize if there's a wrong word. And don't forget to vote π€ππ