WHITE ROSE
(CHAPTER - 04)

I closed the unfinished book and threw it to the edge of the table. Look out the window and look down. The sight of people passing in and out is easily seen from the tavern subscription Bu Yuli. My place is right now.

The semester exams were approaching in plain sight. There are many students who still consider that where learning time, it is more or less interpreted as an impromptu activity that must be done. Like you did for a semester it'll be worth it if you don't study for the exam later. That's why studying at a time like this is so crucial. But there is really no instant way to digest all school lessons in a short time.

Different from what I did. I'm not like them and I'm not as hard as most of the other students. Just repeat and relearn some lessons during a semester that has not been understood. Like a brain memory that is always updated and always press the autofix button.

I groan and stretch myself. I feel like I'm still learning for a few more hours. Why are my eyes tired? Just a few hours of studying. Should I order another coffee?

With heavy steps, I dragged myself to order the coffee back. Replenishing the sugar content in yourself is entirely necessary when it is too excessive to use the brain.

I put on my jacket again and made a tired look. At the end of my eyes, someone awaited was walking towards me with a wave of hands. After ordering a quick coffee in a plastic cup container to the waiter and returning to my place earlier, the person sat in front.

The person I met was Ms. Yuli, and she spoke in a friendly tone as usual. "Sorry to make the wait."

This Sunday has kept me busy. After morning of making breakfast and cleaning the house, I headed to the City Library together with Hary. We studied together there while reading some books related to the problem of the lessons that will be tested later. It just so happened that we were given a copy of his grid. Help us be more effective in learning.

But after we finished and went home, Ms. Yuli called me. He asked me to accompany the Goddess until tonight because she was overtime. It just so happened that Dad was out of town, I agreed.

A week has passed from yesterday's strange incident. About Bu Yuli who lost her memory for a moment about me. And also about the Goddess pendant that had been destroyed and suddenly disappeared changed with the Kinara pendant. It made me feel the horror sensation again. Reminds me of what happened to Kinara a month ago. Like a little picture of that event. But again I kept my mouth shut and did not want to tell this strange thing to Ms. Yuli.

"Ah, no, ma'am," I replied to him as I sat down on the chair.

"Sorry, I helped the Goddess to learn. I forgot" he said with a bit of regret. But I can understand him.

"Yes, Mom. It's okay."

Mom Yuli looked at some of my textbooks on the table. "Already learning?"

"Oh, yes, Mom. Semester exam in a minute. Goddess too, Mom?" I asked as I picked up the book and put it in my school bag.

"Yes, almost 2 months more Goddess did not enter school. But he still wants to learn and does not want to miss a lesson. That's why I also called the Private Teacher for her. Sometimes classmates who visit also learn together," said Bu Yuli.

"It turns out the Goddess is an enterprising person as well," I said amazed.

"Yes, Dewi and Kinara are actually good students at school. They have always been class champions" said Bu Yuli, smiling at the window. I also smile. Although somehow it feels like a little forced.

"Yes already. I'll go first, yeah. Please help, Andy boy," pinta Bu Yuli as she left.

"Oh, yes, ma'am," answered me, who was also standing.

"See you, Andy boy," said Bu Yuli as she left and waved her hand.

"See you, Mom."

A moment of silence stared at his departure.

I took my coffee and waved my footstep. Walk a few meters and get into the elevator to get to the 6th floor. After I got there, I walked down the corridor for a while. Until we got to the door of the Goddess' room. Knocked on the door three times but there was no reply from him. I repeat, but there is still no reply.

I was curious to try to open the door. I put my face in the room to look inside. From here it looks like the Goddess is sleeping.

Stepping into the room, I was greeted by the scent of a refreshing flower. Beautiful fresh flowers appear to decorate the room. The interior inside this spacious hospital room was furnished by the opened curtains, which I slowly entered.

The twilight light of the sun slightly shone on the white blanket, and fell gently on the face of the Goddess. Her long beautiful black hair, was smeared like water on a light blue mattress around her pale white skin. With a tinge of light cherry color on her lips adds to the radiated beauty. So similar to that girl.

I put the bag on the end of the small sofa that was close to the window, about 3 meters from the Dewi mattress. Slide the window to the side to open it about a inch. My face looked out for a moment to get a thin wind that came in. Open the lid on my coffee glass. A pleasant smell drifted mixed with thin steam. I added milk and sugar from the sachet provided in considerable quantities. Stir four times with a small plastic spoon.

And. My favorite sweet coffee is ready to be served. The magnificent aroma of milk and the sweet smelling fragrance of coffee mix with each other. I knew this would be so good.

As he was about to take a sip, there was a sound moving. As if he caught that puff of smell, the Goddess suddenly woke up. The first thing he did was get up from his sleep slowly and fixed. Stare at me without a sound for two full seconds. Then, without saying a word he took a full three seconds to open his blanket slightly.

I saw some textbooks under the blanket. Then he rubbed his eyes with his right hand. Open your eyes wide and stare towards the wall clock for a full five seconds without a sound. It took him a total of ten seconds to understand his current situation. Then he took a deep breath.

"Huh?! I overslept!" said surprised.

Oh, so it seems. I get it now. Maybe he was studying and finally fell asleep. Ms. Yuli then covers him.

Not long after the Goddess looked back at me. When our eyes met each other, the face of the Goddess began to blush and instantly turned her away. From here I saw him covering his face with both palms.

"Why did you let me fall asleep when Andy came?!" the whispers sound clear.

"Eh, sorry, Goddess. I woke you up, didn't I?" ask, while putting a coffee glass on the table near the sofa.

"Did? Uh, no, Brother. I just overslept" he said, looking straight back at me.

"Hmm, yeah. You go back to rest. Looks like you're tired" I said as I picked up a bag and a coffee cup, about to go out for a bit. For fear of waking him up again I had better wait in the outside chair. The goddess did not answer and just looked at me.

"Sister Andy!" call lirih.

"Hmm, yeah? What's up?" I stopped my steps and looked at him.

"Can Brother accompany me here until I fall asleep?" pinta Dewi who looks like a timid and slightly lowered her face. Maybe he feels lonely here.

"Hmm, okay. But Brother while studying first, huh?" I smiled as I stepped back and sat on the sofa. Put a coffee glass on the table and take out some of my textbooks. After that, look back at him.

"Sister don't look at me while asleep, yes," he said with a wry smile. Then she pulled back her body and pulled the blanket.

"Then how can you tell if you're asleep?"

"Did? Eh, right too," he said while facing the opposite body to me.

Along with the words of the Goddess, silence immediately appeared. Only the sound of the tip of my pencil rubbing against the sheet of paper. I answered a simulation of a math lesson. Write lengthy explanations into notes when things go wrong. Repeating the process over and over again. Until it didn't feel like half an hour I was swept away by these things. When I finished working on the contents of the matter, I realized that Dewi was looking at me with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Hmm? What's up, Deck?" my many.

"Hmm? Oh, no, Brother. I was just wondering why Kinara could easily trust Big Brother first. It turns out that it's true, Brother is a good man."

"Hm. Don't judge just because I like to help. Besides that time I felt sorry to see Kinara crying and her flowers scattering," I replied evasively. The goddess only fell silent and turned her face away a little.

"Oh, yeah. Kinara told me that she wanted to move. Where did it move?" my many.

Hearing my question the Goddess looked back. After that his face turned towards the ceiling.

"Kinara moved to her grandmother's house. He forced Kinara to move. I don't know why. My mother was also unable to resist even though she also felt disapproval. And after that Kinara went for a while to her grandmother's house. He wants to move out after my operation is over. But her grandmother still insisted. And finally he allowed it only until the day my operation arrived."

Hearing Goddess' explanation it seemed like her grandmother Kinara was a very strict person and had little trouble with the Bu Yuli family. He forbade Kinara to stay with Ms. Yuli. And it didn't seem to think about Kinara's feelings. That his beloved granddaughter already considered Bu Yuli like mother and Goddess like siblings.

"I think it's just a grandmother's concern. Seeing the state of Kinara who had lost both parents made him even more worried. Understandably, a grandmother is like that. I was also offered by my grandmother to live together. Seeing my father who often left me at home because of work out of town. But I refused because I was comfortable with my situation."

"I feel so too, brother. Mother said, after losing her mother Kinara, she became more protective of Kinara," said Dewi continued.

"Oh, yeah. You're in school with Kinara?"

"No, Brother. But for High School later we plan to take the same school."

"Oh, so. Which High School plan to enter?"

"I used to plan on going with Kinara alone, going to school in her grandmother's town. But now I will probably continue high school just around here" he replied smiling, still staring at the ceiling.

"Oh, then just continue in my school, Dek," I said. Giving advice while smiling a little at him. The goddess momentarily looked at me.

"Indeed to get in there is quite difficult. But, with your always good grades there may not be a problem" I continued. But he was just stunned.

"Em, yes, sister" he replied, smiling.

In between our conversations, the sound of Adzan began to fade from the outside. I turned my face towards the window. It was as if the voice had emerged from the sky that had already begun to lose its twilight glow. Tidying up all my questions and some textbooks. Put it in a pile in the middle of the table and drink out my cooling coffee. I brought her plastic cups to throw in the trash outside.

"Sister to mushola first, yes. Already maghrib. Later Brother will come here again," I said to go out.

"Eh, Andy's sister!" The goddess called me immediately.

"Hmm? Huh yeah?"

"Thank you for coming with me" the Goddess was so happy. I was silent for a moment to see him so cheerful.

"Em, yes. You welcome. Brother go first, yeah."

"Yes, Brother."

I headed straight out to Mushola. No need to go to a different floor because each floor is provided. Just need to walk and turn down the corridor for a while I've found it.

As I rolled up my jacket sleeves and my trousers, I entered the ablution hall. When I finished I immediately joined the line of shafts from the congregation that had been formed.

After some time, I finished performing the Maghrib prayer service. Back to the Goddess' room. Walking down the corridor I passed. As soon as I got to the front door of the room, I opened it gently. Going inside, I saw the sleeping Goddess. I smiled and looked back at the sofa. Take and insert the finished question sheet I worked on earlier into the bag. Replacing it with another lesson sheet that I haven't done.

"It's time to do another boring thing" I whispered, smiling wryly.

※ ※ ※

It was raining today, and I was stuck inside the City Library together with Hary after school. Today's exam was exhausting. Leaning my back on a chair by the window, read a book of Chemistry. While Hary sat in front of reading a thick book that I did not know what it was. From the cover is a white rose. Tumben.

An unproductive afternoon after school.

Looking at the clock, I realized 30 minutes had passed. I spent a lot of time unconsciously. Although you could say feel quite relaxed, but that is not entirely true. It is precisely because I feel a little bored and depressed that I need to get into the relaxation stage.

The silence was only broken by the sound of flipped book sheets and raindrops from outside. I feel sleepy now. Think about going home as soon as the rain stops. And the next few minutes I put the earphones connected to the phone to get rid of empty thoughts. Listening to my favorite song and unconsciously humming it. A few minutes passed by and I heard a voice calling out in front.

"Hey, Andy?" call Hary lirih. I played some music and put my face forward. Nodding up and raising my eyebrows.

"Tumben you haven't been to the hospital lately. Are you having some business?"

"Yes. One of them is what we're doing" I replied back to reading the book.

"The other day last week you went to the hospital anyway, right?"

"That's because of Sunday. And dad's not home. I have a lot of time. After all, Dewi is also focusing on studying for the semester exam. Every day there is a Private Teacher or his friends there," I replied as I took off my earphones.

"Then, how is the Goddess now?"

"The goddess is better now. Slowly it can reduce the sadness a little. A few days ago he was already willing to tell me about Kinara."

"Did the Goddess have started to stop going to the cemetery?"

"Looks like. We haven't been there long enough. He had also started to forget the truth about Kinara."

Whether intentionally or not, Hary was silent for a few seconds after hearing that. For some reason, he then showed his smile while saying something.

"Hmm, when I talked about the Goddess. But somehow I feel like you're talking about someone else" he said very softly. I barely even heard it.

I glanced at. "Did?"

"All this time, what you did to Dewi was just for Kinara's sake, right?"

He said something without further ado. To begin with, it was a conclusion made briefly as a result of this past month. It makes me feel disturbed to read my book.

"No!" firmly answer. Hary raised her eyebrows after hearing the unexpected response.

"That's not for Kinara? Is that your own will?" ask Hary who seems to know about me in detail.

Friends since childhood are terrible. I can't cover my heart from her. Of course, that was my intention from the start. I don't know why I feel something else.

As a result of Hary being completely honest about it, I felt happy. With a smile I asked, "Should I explain it to you?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Not really. Because maybe you've guessed that I already know everything."

I smiled and let the matter go. We fell silent and went back to reading each of our books quietly, for a while. Like there was nothing else to talk about, Hary moved to return the book first. I felt like I didn't have to stop him, but I still called.

"Hary."

"Hmm?"

Despite calling out to him, I was having nothing to talk about. Realizing this, I tried to be honest about my true circumstances.

"Do you think.. There are some things you can only do?"

That's an ambiguous question. He slightly tilted his head, and smiled.

"I don't know why you're asking about that. But among everyone who has ever lived in the past, present, and future, I think that there is one thing I can do."

Hary answered carefully. I was at a loss for words after hearing that quick and precise answer.

Hary faced towards me and said in an authoritative tone.

"I've said before, I've been very familiar with you. If you're having a serious problem, you're always as good as you can to not trouble others. Even if you get a bumpy road you still keep quiet. But just calm down. I can decipher it. I still care about you."

I never thought I'd hear Hary say that. But he said it calmly. While I was silent for a thousand words, he smiled at me.

"Now I know, the reason why you want to try to continue next to the Goddess."

"Did?"

"Because there's something uproar about Kinara, right?" ask him calmly. Shit, is he a fortune teller or what?! Makes me just nod.

"But you know? Seeing you like that continuously to the Goddess, one day he will feel suspicious and find out. Until he lies to himself."

"Looked himself?" tanyaku.

"Well, in this fragile state, his heart would easily melt. Especially with people who care about it. Maybe this time for him, you're so special. And you'll never realize that. Once he found out the truth, his heart would become more fragile and lie to him even more. Same thing as you, wearing someone else's mask."

The explanation from Hary is a little confusing. But it didn't take long I could immediately understand the meaning a little. I started to think about the nature of the Goddess lately to me. No exception last week.

Right now, it's like I don't hear any sound here. Except what Hary said to me. I don't know why he seemed to be able to see my blind spot. And also, why can't I know that? Is it possible because of my selfishness? Or because I cannot see myself?

I stared at the window. The rain drops outside had disappeared. Makes me feel more nervous. Hary seemed to have opened my mind, and began to find something I did not know. Until my thoughts crossed someone's face with a resigned smile covering his sadness.

Seeing my reaction Hary again said, "It's better not to stay quiet for too long. There will be people who feel more tormented at this time. Just like the person you saw before."

I looked back at him for a few seconds. Closing the book and rousing my body from the chair. "I'll go to the hospital first."

※ ※ ※

In the silence of the hallway reflected gently the light of the twilight sun. The sound of my disordered steps echoed along my journey to the Goddess's nursery, after returning home from the City Library. For some reason after hearing what Hary said, my heart felt very uneasy. Made me head straight here.

I didn't feel like I was right in front of the door to the Goddess' room. Breathe in and exhale slowly, trying to knock on the door. But not yet had time to raise my hand, I heard a conversation from the voice of someone I did not know. The voice was inside the Goddess' room.

"Our semester break is going to the beach."

"Well, good. I want to go there too."

"When can you be allowed out of the hospital?"

"Awhile more. Don'worry. I'll come along."

They heard their conversation clearly from behind the door. It seems like the Goddess' friends are visiting. I can imagine the atmosphere inside that was so cheerful. I turned the doorknob gently and opened it about 30 centimeters slowly. Putting half my face in, so one of my eyes glanced into the room. Sure enough, it looks like some of the friends of the Goddess are sitting beside him. Their faces were so happy to accompany their conversation. I could tell from behind that face was a strong sense of longing. My smile finally showed up.

"Then, what about the brother who always visits you? He didn't come today either?" ask one of his friends who surprised me a little.

"Ah, no. Currently the semester exam. Maybe he was busy because he was focused on learning," replied the Goddess with a wry smile.

Somehow my smile disappeared instantly when I heard the Goddess's reply. No. More precisely, looking at his eyes. I feel like I feel something else. It looks like he's lying. But on the other hand I also felt a deep feeling of sadness and disappointment in him.

"After all, my condition has started to improve and will soon leave the hospital. It seems he is no longer worried," said the next Goddess.

"...!"

I was so shocked to hear the words of the Goddess I had not expected. I feel very sad and disappointed too. Why would he think that? Or maybe I look like that myself? And also, has she ever looked more at what I did to her? It seems like I've started to understand the meaning of what Hary said. But if it's like this, what should I do?

Whereas all this time I just .... I just ... just ... just because what...?

I closed the door slowly. My face fell and was silent for a moment. My body turned away, walking away about 15 meters from the room. Afterwards, sit on the outside waiting room chair. Wearing my jacket veil deeper, it almost covered half of my face from above. Cross my hands slowly. It was like feeling a cold chill that was so heartbreaking.

My face still bowed and said something very softly. "Sorry Goddess, I don't pay much attention to you. All this time, I've only been thinking about Kinara."

※ ※ ※

Almost an hour of sitting here. My body began to be unable to withstand this extremely cold air. I looked at the outside window with a glance. I didn't realize it was raining back. Although the jacket I wear is so tight trying to warm, but it still feels very lacking.

A few minutes later, the door opened. It looks like it's from the Goddess' room. I glanced in that direction. The Goddess friends came out of her room and walked towards me. As soon as they passed in front of me, I just fell silent and bowed. It was as if I was hiding my face. When they pass by, they just talk to each other. It seems they didn't notice me.

After their voices were not heard from this place, I moved. Unveil my jacket and set foot into the Goddess's room. As soon as I got to the door I knocked three times.

"Who?" ask Goddess.

"I... Brother Andy," I replied slowly.

"Oh, just come in, brother."

I opened the door and entered slowly. For a moment I stared at him for a few seconds. After my body fully went inside. I closed the door and put my back on the door. My face is back down. Seeing me like this the Goddess looks astonished.

"What's up, brother? Tumben's here. Is Brother is free?" I asked her with a surprised face. I raised my face and looked at him. Our eyes meet each other. It made us momentarily silent because of the silence.

"Did? W-what's up, brother?" her tan was stamped as her face began to blush a little.

My lips were tight to make a determination. I tried to convince my heart to ask. "Actually..What do you see me like?"

"...!"

The silence reappeared. The goddess was silent. Seemed so surprised by the unexpected question from me. Finally, his smile appeared.

"What did my sister ask? I'm not groaning"

"You're not lying, are you?!" I cut his words immediately. He came back surprised. I looked at him steadily.

"You're not looking at me like Kinara, are you?!"

"...!"

"After all, my condition has started to improve and will soon leave the hospital. It seems like he's not worried anymore." I repeated the words he said to his friends. Makes it freeze.

My face bowed again, explaining the meaning behind that sentence. "After all, I've replaced Kinara. And once you're fully healed, I'll be gone. Is that the meaning of what you said? I don't know why that's how I felt when I saw your eyes on them."

The Goddess' smile slowly disappeared. His face began to look sad. His eyes are like glass. As if to shout 'Not like that!'. But, he seemed unable to say because maybe what I said was true.

"If you think that I'm only thinking about Kinara, I admit it's true. I'm selfish for not seeing your feelings. But, if you think I'm just his replacement and will leave you after it's done, I'm very disappointed."

What am I saying this? Why can't I control it. I feel so ashamed and sorry. Only silence I got from him. My face slowly lifted to look at her.

"...."

"...!"

But after that, I was surprised to see the Goddess. He put his smile back on calmly. But from those teary eyes, she seemed to be holding back a very painful feeling and mixed with happiness. Like trying so hard that her tears don't fall in front of me.

He turned his face towards the window. Staring at the outside atmosphere that has begun to be shrouded in twilight sunlight. It was as if it had erased the sky that had been decorated by the gray color of the rain cry.

Until his lips moved softly. "I already know, Brother. I already know that Big Brother did all this not entirely for me. And when Big Brother was so worried about me, I was so happy to hear it. So don't worry anymore. Take it easy, brother. I'm used to this."

Hearing the latter's answer somehow my heart felt such a deep pain. My face bowed. A few seconds later, a soft voice appeared on my lips.

"I'm used to it, aren't I?"

As if she had ever said that word to me. As she tried to cover up the sadness with a smile. Feel a deja vu on a different girl. But this time, I was also used to that fake smile. I subconsciously express the feelings of my heart that I do not accept with all of this.

"I've seen a smile like that from someone. Because I'm used to knowing that the smile she's showing is fake, so I can tell that you're trying to lie like that guy."

"...."

The goddess was silent for a moment. The silent atmosphere appeared. Seen from where I stood, the Goddess' smile froze. However, before long there was little water that glistened with sunlight coming out from both eyes gently. The Goddess slowly turned her head and faced her face to me, who was still putting on that fake smile. My heart is so full of seeing it. Even my breathing stopped.

"...!"

"It turns out.. I can't lie to Brother, can I?"

He was still smiling, even though his tears were flowing.

My heart is slowly slicing. Stabbed deeper with a knife that symbolizes the Goddess' tears. My body started to limp and shake. Slowly my feet moved to get closer to him. Trying to entertain, even though I don't know what to say. My tongue feels locked. My words are stuck in my throat. Even swallowing is not possible.

After being within a distance of about one arm, he immediately grabbed my jacket and gently pulled my body at her. His smile changed quickly with a sad face. Without a second thought the Goddess directly stuck her forehead on my chest. His face was bowed while sounding such a heartbreaking cry. His stumbling voice made me want to cry too.

Until slowly my right hand stuck to her back hair and my left hand stuck to her back, while rubbing gently. Her body that felt so cold and so thin made me even more unable to hold back my tears.

"Near...! Kinara...!"'s search...!"



The Goddess' heartbreaking cry appeared while calling out the girl's name. His voice was so echoing. Makes my heart even more torn by this atmosphere.

"This time, I will stop the pain and solve the mystery that has haunted me all this time."

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