YOU BETTER MISS?
NOT A NEW BEGINNING
..."Strong, does not mean strong muscles. Weak, that doesn't mean he's a loser. Great, great what he is that just leaves a scar. As hard as you keep the pain you will eventually fall to the lowest point that destroys all the foundations that have been made for years."...
...Adhistha Agattha's...
.........
After choosing to go home first Dhita stopped by a Cafe Frowall to buy Trust latte, a milk tea drink that has strawberry and honey in it.
He spends time alone after meeting with his friends. After finishing ordering the drink, Dhita drove her car home, and did her usual routine.
...***...
Day change day...
The next morning was a tiring day after the weekend. Dhita begins her day by trying to withstand all her traumas despite the torture. The hospital is the place where the painful memories always haunt him.
Dhita took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. Either after almost 15 years passed this tormented feeling continued to hold him. Dhita tried to neutralize the pain.
Already so many times maybe even dozens of times he had to overcome it. Frequent visits to a psychiatrist because the trauma is very disturbing for the past few years. Many psychiatrists advise him to do other methods besides using drugs. But Dhita still needs the drug because there are no criteria that fit their recommended method.
It didn't feel like the day was passing so fast and now night was coming. Dhita usually spends time in the hospital while getting used to her trauma.
Dhita has just completed heart surgery for a patient who was in the hospital for a week. The clock was already showing at eight o'clock so Dhita decided to go outside the hospital for a bit to buy a meal because her stomach was already beeping asking on the back side, so she decided to go outside the hospital for a while to buy a meal, because Dhita wanted Mang Joko's meatballs at the end of the road next to Jakarta's largest private university not far from the hospital so Dhita decided to go there.
The moon illuminating her lonely night added to the impression of solitude that Dhita now felt.
Haaa...
Dhita let out a long sigh while permeating the cold night air.
In the car Dhita only often spend time waiting for the red light, just open his mobile phone and open the incoming emails.
Dhita has never had much rest since the last 7 years or perhaps more Dhita has never counted.
After a long time somehow he began to miss the atmosphere first, when he was still with papah, mama and his brothers.
Dhita begins to look straight, reminiscing about the times when their harmonious families were shattered by the one-time mistakes Dhita made. Nope, the mistake of the person who hit Veren's brother to his parents who even blame him at that point now Dhita understands where he is and the point where his family who used to be always there and happy is now gone without wanna return.
Tinn... Tinn...
The sound of a car horn resuscitates Dhita from her daydream.
'Why should I remember them!' batin Dhita then runs her car to where she wanted it.
Arriving at the place Mang Joko Dhita directly ordered a serving of chicken meatballs and beef meatballs mixed. Dhita does eat a little and prefers to drink yogurt instead of regular milk. Daily food only fruit salad or not vegetable salad.
Dhita enjoyed the food without leaving the food that was left a little sauce from the meatballs. Dhita has always liked the meatballs made by Mang Joko who always subscribed to this. Once done Dhita directly pay.
"Neng, here's the change." Mang Joko. Dhita who was still sitting in a chair close to Mang Joko was directly staring at Mang Joko who was giving her change.
"No need to change, Mang! Wrap one more. The rest of the money if still more for Mang Joko aja." Dhita refused the remaining change of about eighty thousand. Somehow Dhita does not want to receive change, always ask to buy another pack and then take it home.
Dhita always gives alms with the rest of the money but he buys something if the excess money is usually given to the seller only.
"Miss. But this is a lot of the rest." Reject Mang Joko to Dhita. Dhita who got a rejection immediately explained it.
"That's not much, Mang. It was my form who liked the food made by Mang Joko. So don't be rejected." Dhita, with a smile on her face, convinced Mang Joko not to refuse the money she gave.
"But--" before Mang Joko again refused Dhita cut off Mang Joko's speech.
"There's no buts. That's sustenance, Mang Joko." Firmly Dhita and was taken by Mang Joko who already did not want to issue his words of rejection back.
Dhita who saw that, still faithfully waiting for one more pack of food before he left the food stall.
Even though Dhita is a doctor but he likes the foods sold in street vendors. As long as it is good and halal, of course, according to Dhita.
Arriving at Dhita Hospital immediately parked his car in the front parking lot of the hospital. Dhita stepped in the front corridor of the RS. Walk slowly to the RS.
Returning to his room casually, Dhita carried in her left hand a black swipe containing meatballs that she had asked for a wrap from Mang Joko meatballs.
His assistant looked at Dhita who saw the plastic bag and looked at Dhita in wonder.
"By eating?" Sarah immediately approached Dhita who walked into the room. I don't know why his stomach was ringing back when he tried to hold it.
"Well, I know you haven't had dinner yet." Dhita replied while offering a plastic hanger that he had brought earlier.
Sarah who was hungry immediately took the plastic bag, took it to the kitchen set hidden in the corner of the room covered by a bulkhead.
You could say Dhita's room is quite spacious. Dhita is the only doctor who gets a famous surgeon in a short time even beats his seniors.
But behind the skillful hands of the expert it is still just a mere trick that covers the truth that is actually happening in Dhita.
Dhita who saw the starving Sarah eating the meatballs greedily and quickly made Dhita grimace instantly.
"Eat it slowly, Sar!" Dhita while walking to a table filled with data that he had printed but not fully read.
Dhita also tidied one by one the sheets and made into a neatly arranged map in a special rack made by Dhita. The room that Dhita could use, was enough for her. He does not complain about being big or small.
Sarah gets up close to Dhita but does not realize it because of daydreaming. Sarah who previously still ate the meatballs earlier, was beside him not responded at all because Dhita who was still at home daydreaming.
But not long after the lights of the room were off.
Plsss...
"Dhita are you okay?" Sarah who is still beside Dhita is already holding her cellphone which lights on the phone are on.
But what Sarah saw was Dhita's tears flowing down.
'What is this?' sarah's mind raged at the sight of Dhita who was always smiling suddenly just crying.
Dhita, who is aware of being seen by Sarah, immediately runs away to the toilet. Even in the dark with no illumination at all. Dhita closes the door tightly and locks it, Dhita's body collapsing behind the door she can no longer bear the pain.
Unlike Dhita Sarah is still in the room. But not long after the lights came back on, Sarah who saw it like a statue that did not move at all from its place.
Sarah regained her senses and stepped into the toilet containing Dhita. Then gulp down the door slowly.
"That. You're okay?" Sarah tries to get an answer from Dhita but does not flinch at all. Dhita didn't want to get out of that toilet at all.
Sarah, who was standing at the door, and before leaving, said resignedly, then continued to eat the meatballs that Dhita had brought.
"Yes, already. Don't stay there long!" Dhita heard the sound of footsteps away which made Dhita a little relieved because Sarah did not force in like most people who saw her.
'I can't tell you everything yet, Sar! His mind rests on his back behind a closed door.
Dhita is not as strong as people see it. Dhita is just a weak girl who never gets more affection than her old debt. Since childhood he tried to make mistakes but still. Nothing has changed.
The more he remembers everything, the more he gets hurt.
Can Dhita hope to the stars that she needs someone who will accept her for who she is?!
Dhita tried to endure the pain by squeezing her extremely distressed chest like she was crushed by a large stone.
His tears did not stop flowing until he was tired and fell asleep while leaning behind the door. Struggling on the floor without stopping the tears that continued to flow endlessly which made anyone who saw it also shed tears.
"I told you we'd just end this." A voice that came from inside my mind that somehow made me feel a no-no.
"NO!" Dhita firmly dispels all negative thoughts that pop up in his mind.
And finally Dhita fell asleep curled up on the floor without stopping crying when her mentality was down then this is how it became.