Almahyras
Section 58 (2)

"Lutfan does not want walimatul'ursy" said Mardiyah.

Netra Alma widened. "Because--"

"No need to ask why, Alma. Because until whenever I and you will not know the feelings of Lutfan. Even if I try to understand, I can't ..." Mardiyah's gaze was straight. But Alma could understand the hardness of Mardiyah's heart. "Lutfan liar. Why should he pretend to smile in front of you and Jafar?"

I heard Mardiyah's breath. "I don't care if he thinks I exist or not. But ... it hurts, Alma ..."

Tears suddenly fell on the left side of Mardiyah's cheek. "Should see Lutfan change, see Lutfan pretend, everything's sick."

"What are you ..." Mardiyah looked at Alma. "Also feel this sick when Alma sees Jafar?"

Ja.

Mardiyah's right.

There will never be anyone who truly understands Lutfan's feelings, nor Jafar's. Because really being a man who always holds the title of protecting women, would be very make Lutfan feel useless. Just like Jafar.

"Reg, Mar." Netra Alma looked at Mardiyah inside. "If you ask that ..."

Alma nodded. "Either."

"If you still can't understand Lutfan. Enough of you to be by her side, Mar .. You grew up with her as a child, right?" Alma rubbed her nose. "I believe Lutfan will be happy with you, Mar. Sure," added Alma.

"Hopefully" said Mardiyah.

I heard the door of the workspace open. Alma and Mardiyah quietly wiped her tears, as Jafar pushed her wheelchair. That pretend smile was still clearly visible. "Ukhti, healthy?" ask Lutfan.

Alma nodded. "Yes. Thank goodness."

"Later if it's walimatul'ursy, may I pound it." Lutfan looked at Jafar. "Yes, Mum? Samean can my gift be a gemoy?"

"You also love me as Masmu ponakan dong," said Alma.

Lutfan laughed lightly. "Quiet."

"You guys go straight home?" ask Alma.

Lutfan was about to speak. But suddenly Mardiyah said, "Yes. Lutfan needs to rest."

The wheelchair was taken over by Mardiyah. The two returned home by Cak Sur, Jafar did not return to the outlet. Her husband said other outlets could be taken care of online. After that Alma and Jafar went back inside, but not in the room. But in the kitchen, Alma was a little thirsty.

"Want a drink, Mas?" Alma gave me a glass of mineral water. "Don't you?"

Jafar.

"Okay." Alma took a seat in the middle seat of the dining table. Then sip a glass of water until it runs out. "What's wrong with you, Mom?"

Jafar was silent, motionless.

"Maos ..."

No reaction.

"Mas Jafar!" alma said by raising her tone and patting her husband on the shoulder.

Jafar regained his senses, raising his eyebrows as if asking, why? Maybe this is because of the chat that just happened with Lutfan. Until her husband kept on daydreaming.

"Why you?"

I heard Jafar's breath. "Lutfan doesn't want any walimatul'ursy" he wrote.

Ah, their talk is the same.

"I also know from Mardiyah, Mas."

"I have persuaded but he still does not want to" Jafar wrote.

Alma was silent for a moment.

"Is Lutfan embarrassed?" jafar wrote, again.

"He's just like you." Three seconds later, Alma said, "Close yourself."

"Mas is not wrong, right? ... Lutfan wants to be alone for a moment?" Alma sighed softly. "I believe Lutfan will get better again."

...🌺...

This life can never be offered sad and happy. Being able to live until the end he was grateful, or even more not to give up in the middle of the road he felt great. Alma always believed that he would be okay. Not always the sadness pervaded, for a moment there must be happy.

The orange light was clearly visible in front of his eyes. Jafar again took her around the pesantren and stopped at this place again-the place where Jafar told her about Abinya.

"This is magrib."

Jafar nodded.

"Thank you for taking me for a walk, Mom."

Jafar looked and nodded again.

"Mas later .. if I have fully recovered. You're doing therapy?"

Jafar down-wrote the answer. "I'm not sure, Alma."

"Why do you think you're this again, Mom?"

Alma looked directly at Jafar's notebook, as it seemed quite long. "My mind is fixed on Lutfan continuously. If in the end the therapy is fruitful and I can talk back even I am grateful, Alma. But for now it seems better not, I don't want to get well" he wrote.

Netra Alma widened, she shook her head slowly and asked Jafar to look at her by raising the man's chin. "Istighfar you, Mas."

"Don't write that kind of stuff anymore." Alma tore off one page of the notebook and tore it into smaller pieces and put it in her pocket. "You know what you're writing, Mom?"

Jafar nodded.

"Everybody who is sick wants to heal, Mom."

Jafar looks down. "I know. But I don't want to be healed. Do you mind, Alma?"

"Mas, it's not a matter of me objecting or not." Alma looked straight at the twilight sky, and again said, "I'm just disappointed, why are you suddenly like this?"

Alma nodded slowly. "Lutfan? Okay. Because Lutfan?"

"You don't want him to feel alone, and be a completely useless person?" Alma looked at Jafar who was also right looking at him. "You are wrong, my. But do you pity Lutfan but neglect yourself?"

"You want me ... tell Lutfan? Let you be this-" Weak. Suddenly his tears dripped without warning, then immediately Alma wiped the tears and avoided Jafar's gaze. "You like it so much for me to cry, Mas ..."

"We are human, Mom. Destiny has been determined for each of us alone." Alma rubbed her nose. "You don't have to think like this. Lutfan will be angry, and ngomelin you all out because of this."

"You want, hm?"

Jafar seemed to be shaking slowly. Fifteen seconds of silence, suddenly putting a notebook on Alma's lap. "Why do you always cry when I talk about this, Alma? And you always threaten me with Lutfan's scolding."

There's a pause in that notebook. "Everything you say is true. I am not negligent with myself, I understand the destiny of every human being is different. But I'm only going to be with Lutfan, Alma. I used to know what it feels like to be insulted, I first knew what it's like to be a worthless man."

"So am I wrong to just want to be with Lutfan through all this, Alma?" The end of Jafar on one page.

Alma. "No. You are not wrong to always be there for Lutfan, Mas."

"But you can't understand ... How many times have I said, Mom? To always be there and love each other doesn't have to sacrifice yourself, right?"

Alma looked at Jafar. "You should have cheered him. You can't fall down again when you wake up like this, Mas."

Alma stood up, her right hand clasping Jafar's notebook. While his left hand touched Jafar's arm asking the man to stand up.

"Let's go home, Azan."

Jafar got up and walked side by side.

"Later I asked Umma, if Lutfan can also take therapy. So that he can get back on the road. So that also ... Mardiyah again saw Jafar and Lutfannya as a child first," added Alma.

"Because Mardiyah said .., you two changed, Mas."