Around Us
Chapter 26: The Pail

Avoiding is not the right way to solve problems. It can create floating problems or even create new ones. But, sometimes we need to pull over for a moment when the problem at hand meets a deadlock. It is important to clear your mind first while arranging a strategy so that the problem can be ended peacefully.

At the very least, distance might be able to fuse the ego in our minds. Dad and I both need time to start a longing.

I cleaned up my clothes and other supplies to get back to Bandung. It's the only place I can go to reconcile my heart. It was not that I could leave Dad in doubt, but the crisis was still prone to reappear to the surface. I don't want to clash my story with Dad's logic.

The thing that makes me steady to find a place of contemplation is the invitation of Dad to consult with a mental health expert. That's a bit excessive, I think. But yes, I don't want to make things worse. Let me show you later if I'm okay.

All the mystical events that color my life are often tormenting the mind and mind. However, everything is still within control. That is, even though I was made to be upset, but I can still restore my condition and mood as before. My sanity is still awake, my activities are still running as they should. I know when to consult experts, both psychologists/psychologists and kiai/ustad.

I walked over to my dad who was sitting in front of the television. He looked tired after teaching.

“Yes, Arya wants to go back to Bandung now,” said slowly.

“Hah!” Dad looked surprised. “ You want to go back to Bandung now? Isn't it still a holiday, son?”

“Lusa Arya no guidance KRS,” explained me.

I stood up and held my shoulder. “Why not leave after tomorrow?”

My eyes were so sad, but my resolve was round. “It's okay Well if Arya to Bandung now?”

“But you're going home again KRS, right?”

“Later Arya see the situation yes, Yah!”

Dad sat back with a weak gesture.  To be honest, I was always waiting for Dad to share a story about the burden that was enveloping his mind.

“Now you are not comfortable at home?” His face was hiding sadness. “You're angry with Dad? Or even have started to hate the attitude of Dad lately.”

I had no thoughts of hating or harboring Dad at all. For me, the conflict that happened that day was over that very day. If there are still feelings of annoyance, I convert it into a lesson for the future so that the conflict does not repeat itself.

I sat down and hugged Dad from the side. “Ngak, Dad. Nothing at all terbesit about it,” explained.

“Lantas why do you want to rush back to Bandung? Ever since you went to college outside the city, I've been feeling so lonely at home.”.

I was confused in bringing up the reason to Dad. Should I make up a story?

I hug Dad tighter, “Yeah, can Arya leave now?”

Dad was silent for a moment. Then, he lifted his face and looked at me. Dad nodded his head after seeing me ready to go. “You ride travel or bus?”

“Travel, Yeah.”

“Yes already, Dad took to the shelter yes. But Dad change clothes for a while yah.”

“Dad just returned home. Not tired yet?”

“Ngak. You wait a moment, Dad.”

I'm asserting. Seeing him sad wanted to feel undo the intention to leave. But my heart tells me that my decision is right.

Along the way to Kota Kembang, I tried to evaluate myself about my attitude and way of speaking, and also to be wiser in thinking about others.

I also remember what happened yesterday at Adam's tomb. Mother Narsih (mother of Adam) seems full of life pressures. I know that while breathing on earth, human life will never be out of trouble. However, I saw the most intense pettiness in his mind.

Unfortunately, after the pilgrimage, he immediately returned home. I stopped by the house not wanting to, like being chased by time. I could only pray that he would be given health and safety. Also for Adam, may the prayer we offer make him able to smile up there.

I arrived in Bandung at about 7 p.m.  When opening the boarding gate, there was a crowded sound in one of the rooms, precisely in Mas Bimo's room. I glanced as I passed through the room. It turns out there was him and his friends.

“Ya..” call him. “You came today, didn't you know me?”

Stalled steps. “Depart suddenly, Mas.”

“Oh. Join us, Yes!” bring him.

“Sorry, Mom. I want to rest first.”

“Ya. You look so tired.”

I stepped into the room. It was like a few weeks ago. There was their existence, but it seemed to have been not as aggressive as before.

To be honest, I'm confused about what activities tomorrow will be or where. Sleep all day in the room? If the activity is like that, I feel useless. Ah, mending tomorrow I try to walk around Bandung myself. I can go to the square, Gasibu, see Gedung Sate, to the Traffic Park, or to the Zoo. If the distance to Lembang is too far and I believe tomorrow the road to the location must be jammed.

While thinking about tomorrow's activity plan, I read books to invite sleepiness. Before long, Mas Bimo knocked on the door of the room and called out to me.

“Ya... Have you slept yet? Can I come in?”

“Log in, Mas!”

He sat right next to me. I don't know why I feel so uncomfortable with her.

“Yes, why are you so hard to contact lately? Chat I also rarely you reply,” he lamented.

“Sorry Mas, I rarely hold hape when at home.”

“Besok you have an agenda?”

“Not there, Mas.”

“It just so happens. I'd like to ask you tomorrow to go to Nining's grave. I want to make a pilgrimage and apologize to him.”

“Tomorrow, Mas?”

“Iya. You yourself who turn it on faster better. I beg ya Yes tomorrow memenin I go there,” he said memelas. “Yes, I realize I have a lot of sins and wrong with people and also you. Now I really want to start a new life. I don't want to be surrounded by feelings of unease anymore, yeah. If indeed my new life can start from apologizing to Nining, I beg you to accompany me again.

I feel that Mas Bimo's words are insincere. Is there something he's planning? Ah, but I can't be so prejudiced. Thoughts and words can be prayer.

“Iya, Mas. What time is it there?”

“Sore aja. Around the end of Ashar we leave from here.”

“Iya, Mas.”

“Oh yes, have you eaten?”

“Udah was on the road.”

“Then join my room, yuk!”

“Sorry, Mom. I want to rest.”

“Good. I will not make meaning. I went back to my room.”

“Heem.”

Why do I think Mas Bimo's attitude is like expressing his dark side?! At first, I did know him as a good figure, but just now everything was as a design. What kind of show is he playing? I feel there is a bad plan that he is compiling. His face looked cheerful, but gave off a bad feeling.

I told Mas Bimo's awkward attitude to Dani via WhatsApp message.

Me : Dan, I'm at the boarding house again. I just met Mas Bimo. He said he'd ask to be sent to Nining's grave tomorrow.

Me : I know something is wrong with Mas Bimo

Dani : Just beware of him. Now you know how he is.

Me: Yes, Dan.

Dani : My advice, you ask to be accompanied by another boarding boy if tomorrow go with Mas Bimo.

Me : Above is just Sandy's sister.

Dani : Just take her.

Me : I honestly doubt Mas Bimo tomorrow.

Dani : Yes, don't go. Or wait for me. The plan was the day after I went to Bandung. My brother also wanted to come and stay a few days in Bandung, he said.

Me: Try tomorrow I talk to Mas Bimo.

Dani : Oh yes, Yes. I told my brother about you and Mas Bimo. Hence, he wants to join me to Bandung. He also said that worrying about you is because Mas Bimo is very difficult to guess. Just be careful, yeah. Let me know as soon as Mas Bimo's moves you think are weird again!

Me: Yes, Dan. Thanks for the advice and attention.

Dani : Relax, Yes.

I'm trying to get Mas Bimo to change. But when she expressed her desire to become more, I doubted her instead. What's with me? Is this the path to peace? Faced again with things that trigger a quarrel between the mind and mind.

The next day, after breakfast, I headed straight to Mas Bimo's room to relay the delay to Nining's tomb. He knocked on the door of his room, but his friend opened the door.

“Yes, what's up?” The smell of alcohol was so pungent from his mouth.

“Mas Bimo is awake, A?”

“Not yet. Want builtin?”

“Neventless. Its nothing. Come back here again.”

“Heem..”.

Mas Bimo's room was so messy. The smell of alcohol is also shown with those who look bellied and stoned. Is this what you call wanting to change?

I decided to wash my eyes and mind for a moment to Bandung City Square. Go around alone in the crowd. It may seem like a bad person, but I like to enjoy life from a lonely perspective.

From Bandung City Square, I continued my journey to Ade Irma Suryani Nasution Traffic Park. Places that children visit more. That's why I came to this place.

Watching the innocence and joy of children is always fun. I want to go back to that time. A time when crying can drive away problems. Now, after growing up, crying only to reveal or vent problems for a moment. Next, you must be able to find a solution to immediately solve the existing problem.

I don't feel like I'm looking at Ashar's Adzan. I started the service, and then told Mas Bimo to change the schedule to Nining.

After the prayer, Mas Bimo called before I typed the message.

“Ya, where are you?” the question is as soon as I put the phone to my ear.

“Again in Traffic Park, Mas,” I replied honestly.

“Ngapain?”

“Streeting, refreshing.”

“Whose name?”

“Self.”

“Yes already, if so wait there yes. I'll pick you up there.”

“But Mas.. How about...”.

Not finished the sentence I wanted to say, he closed the conversation. Then I sent him a message. Mas, how about we make a pilgrimage to Nining's tomb the day after?

There's no reply from him. All right, I'm waiting for him here.

About 30 minutes waiting, Mas Bimo showed up. He told me to get on his bike.

“Come aboard, Yes!”

“Bent, Mom! How about we go there after tomorrow?”

“Why should the day after, Yes?” Confused expression.

“You guys wait for Dani and her brother to come here.” Intentionally looking for other words that Mas Bimo can accept without him suspecting, I was even lost.

His voice turned upset. “What does this have to do with them? Do they have nothing to do with this? You told them? You're afraid I'm acting criminal with you?”

I was asked a question that made my position go awry. “That's not what it means, Mas. Gini tablets, Mas..”

He immediately interrupted. “I know I'm full of sins. Maybe you doubt me too, right? Why do you have to tell someone else? That's so untrustworthy you're the same as me now, huh? I am evil, but have I ever done evil to you? You told me to do this as soon as possible. Yes, I really want this problem to run fast. I don't want to be haunted by Nining.”

The carelessness in speaking actually makes the atmosphere so dramatic. Bimo started to shed tears. I couldn't see anyone else crying and begging in front of me.

“Ya, Mas. We leave now,”.

He also replied with a smile. However, I felt that he was wearing a mask on his face. I hope I'm wrong.

Arriving at Nining's house, Mas Bimo's temperament felt even more strange. His originally sad face, turned violent. He laughed at me too.

“We directly pilgrimage yuk, Mas!” invite me to neutralize the atmosphere before making sure it means.

“What? The pilgrimage? Who's here for a pilgrimage? I'm just here curious to see this place. I haven't been here in a long time.” He let out a glance around Nining's house accompanied by a booming cynical laugh. “Hahahaha…. Arya is innocent and kind. Nining is dead. You know you've been trying to use me. Eh, even he himself got instant karma. But unfortunately, he left the story to others. I don't like that.”

“What exactly is Mas Bimo planning?” much worry.

He clapped both hands as if the code was calling for someone else. Sure enough, the 4 friends I saw last night came from behind Nining's house.

“The game has been stationary (the game has started). Actually this is a few days ahead of what I planned,” he often.

I observed Mas Bimo's friends, some were swinging buckles, carrying celurits, stretching out the rope, and carrying long sticks, Only Mas Bimo was empty-handed. I should have been able to more firmly follow my heart.

“Mas, you want to kill..” My voice is shaking and my body is shaking.

They formed a circle formation, surrounding me. “Quiet! I just want to test your skills. I won't kill you either. But, I'll hide you.”

“Please Mas, Istigfar! Don't throw yourself into sin!”

My words were responded to with an increasingly cruel gaze. I also tried to find a gap to escape from the siege of Mas Bimo and his friends. I checked around, looking for materials to distract them.

Then, the sky suddenly spilled water profusely. “Mas, we can talk about this carefully. Now mending we go into Nining's house to shelter.”

“Good idea. Not funny too if you get sick before time.”

When they walk to take shelter from the rain, that's where the open space for running is. I didn't waste the opportunity. I immediately swung my legs with all my might. Thankfully, their negligence can be put to good use.