Around Us
Chapter 3: Instinct

Sometimes I feel like I can see or feel the burden that other people are feeling. When looking at their faces and gestures, it was as if they were telling stories. No. gabe. I don't feel like I have a sixth sense or anything. I just thought of it as a sensitivity embedded in my soul.

I always try not to look at someone, especially his eyes, for too long. Wh why? I know how they feel, but I am often confused to be able to help them. Even when on buses, trains, or on trips where many meet unknown people, I feel their sadness when I observe the look on his face. I can only pray for them. I know they try to live life hard, they don't want to show sadness. Some people want to tell stories, but have no listeners.

When I was tasting the “aneh” things that were inside me, Mas Bimo knocked on my room door.

I got up from the bed and opened the door. “Iya, Mas.”

“Yes, someone is telling you,”.

Mas Bimo came with someone who made me flinch. A trick? Yes, the woman who suffered the possession. Spontaneous I saw his face. His sadness quickly crossed my tracks. He seemed to be in anxiety, confusion, and confusion. There were dried tears on her cheeks.

“Sorry disturb. My name, Yuli,” he said grudgingly as he reached out.

I also tried to grab her hand. But when I shook my hand, my mouth was clenched. Suddenly wanted to cry. There are things that are so emotional, but hard to describe. I can only return my hand to its original position.

“Sorry, do you have time? I want to speak to you four-eyes?” he continued with a tone that contained a sense of guilt.

Mas Bimo then withdrew from before us. “Then I say yes. I also want to go to campus,” farewell to Teh Yuli.

“Iya, Mas. Thank you for delivering me,” reply while bending the body 30 degrees.

I added, “Thank you, Mas Bimo.”

I looked around, the atmosphere was calm. The residents at the boarding house are in college, except me. I happen to only have afternoon classes after Ashar.

“Chat here or where, Tea?” I offer while showing seats that are available for families or visiting guests. I couldn't get him to chat in my room, even if there was no one, but I was worried that he would feel uncomfortable and also potentially cause slander.

“Iya, here aja.” Teh Yuli agreed. “But did you have a lecture today?”

“There's one course later in the afternoon. Relax, Tea.”

After we sat down, he did not tell us directly. I knew it would take some time to temper the emotions that seemed to be spreading inside him. Also, it was clearly not easy for him to start a word with the condition he was suffering from. I waited patiently for him to speak.

After almost 10 minutes, I felt he needed a fishing rod. “Oh yes, sorry I forgot, Tea. My name is Arya. If there is anything I can help you with, please Teteh start telling me.”

He sighed for a moment, then opened with the question, “What do you know about the one inside me?”

I get the point, but I don't want him to conclude quickly that I have supernatural or other abilities . “Meanwhile, Tea?”

“You remember 3 days ago when we passed each other on the street. At that time you told me to wash my feet and hands before entering the house, then take ablution,” he recalled.

“Iya”, I agree. I remember what I said to him at that time.

“What do you see in me?” Yuli Tea's eyes began to glaze over.

I looked at the painting on his face. “I just saw Yuli Tea is not okay. Sorry, I suggest it without the intention of patronizing.”

Yuli Tea tries to regulate emotions by breathing back in. I know he needs a place to pour out all his thoughts. But I can't just describe what I see in him.

“Arya, sorry if I was presumptuous. We just got to know each other's names, but I felt like I wanted to tell you after you gave me that night's advice. During this time, my friends told me more to seek treatment. Some even think I'm crazy.” Tears can no longer be shed. “What should I do? Approaching God? Every day I try to do that, but I also need friends to share.”

“Teh...” To be honest, I can only say as I feel about her. Regarding the solution, I try to be a good listener first. “If now Teteh wants to tell a story while crying, please! But I beg you to look at me. Okay, Tea?”

Teh Yuli nodded her head in agreement.  I asked him to tell me a story by looking at me so he could control his emotions, so that his mind would not go wild. He must understand that someone is focused or willing to be his listener. At least, it must first be implanted into his mindset so that he can master himself and form comfort in speaking.

“Three years ago I almost wanted to get married, but failed because my future husband chose to continue his studies abroad. I told him if it was time, I could wait. But he still chose to break up with me. The reason is not to establish a LDR relationship (long distance relationship/long distance relationship). He was afraid it would be a burden for him, as well as for me. I also received it with a spacious chest, although it was very difficult initially.” He's getting more tears. I know recounting painful events is like reawakening that feeling back in the heart.

Yuli Tea took a breath many times. I asked for permission to get him a tissue and drink it.

“I've tried sincerely not to match with him. But I accidentally saw the Facebook account of a woman with my ex-husband. Profile photo she wears both bridal dresses. I was in shock, because my ex was only about a year abroad. I searched through the women's posts, then found out that they were married a month before I was decided. I'm trying hard. However, until now I still feel claustrophobic considering his betrayal,” his hardness.

I can't comment yet, because I'm sure the story isn't finished. There is something else that makes it like this.

He also reconnects his story. “I tried to ask for an explanation from my ex, but my chat or phone never responded. After that, I tried to completely forget him. It's hard, it's very hard. My concentration for college is crumbling. My script proposal never came through. My guidance counselor even said she gave up on me. He said I no longer have the spirit.”

His speech began to calm down. “Dad and my mother also kept asking when I was graduating. I know they're hoping that I graduate soon and get a job. I'm embarrassed, too, because my friends have all graduated. Stay me, only I am left on the edge of hope to be in-graduation.”

Yuli tea is like giving a pause for me to respond. “Hem.. But I feel that it is not only that that which leads Teh Yuli to her current condition. If from the story, I think that actually Teh Yuli can get through all this. But, then, it was like there was a grudge embedded in Teteh to the former Teteh. Sorry Tea, I don't mean to accuse.”

Suddenly there was the sound of the bathroom door closing tightly. I checked directly at the source of the sound. However, no one has used the bathroom.  Though his voice was clear from one of the bathrooms above, next to my room.

Then, I also looked at the bathroom below to just make sure. Equally, there is no trace of water flowing in the two bathroom rooms. Impossible because of the wind. This building is tightly closed to the wall. Rather than be overwhelmed with confusion, I decided to just go back to my place.

“You if you want to go to the bathroom first, it's okay, Yes,” said Teh Yuli when I returned to my sitting position.

However, I felt strange about his statement. “No tea, just checking who slammed the bathroom door.”

“Teteh didn't hear that...?” I tried to explain, but seeing her plain expression, I paused the effort.

“Ngak, Yes. You don't hear anything,”.

His voice is very strong. Am I the only one hearing it? Never mind, better get back to the topic. “Sorry Tea, about what was it?”

Yuli Tea turned its gaze to the left side. He wiped away the teardrops that were on his cheek.

“Iya. You're right, yeah. I want him to feel what I feel. At least he knew what it was like to be dumped. Therefore, I went to a smart man so that he divorced his wife,” he said.

“Come to that smart guy more than once, right?” Instantly I felt like someone was pushing my tongue to comment.

His face turned irritated. “Betul. I can't remember how many times I've been to smart people. They even move from one smart person to another. That's what I did, because like there's no change. Even his wife is increasingly showing off their affection on Facebook. Though my mind is impatiently waiting for the destruction of his life.”

“All that Tetuh did was just throw away the material. The soul shakes, the heart is tormented. Every effort that Teteh makes by asking for the help of smart people does not show the slightest sign of success. Finally, Teh Yuli's mind went wild until someone hitched a ride on Teteh's body. I see, right?”

He seemed surprised to hear my statement. “My parents once brought me to a kiai in the village. According to the kiai, I must be ruked. I ran away because I felt fine. I often lost consciousness and woke up in a limp state. My friends say, I'm possessed. However, I want them to know that I took the shirk for revenge. It's okay they branded me insane, but don't let them know the real thing I did.”

He covered his face with both hands. His crying flowed again with a rush.

“During at the kost, Yuli Tea often daydreams in the kitchen huh?” ask to form a conclusion.

“Iya. At that time I always suddenly lost consciousness,” he replied by revealing the face cover.

I-i understand. The main problem he faced was inner pressure. But had he, then, not wished to a clever man, his body would not have been boarded by a jinn.

“Indeed, Teh Yuli shouldn't ask smart people for help to get revenge. Because that is what then makes Teh Yuli experience paralysis of conscience, unable to manage emotions, thoughts, memory, and self. Teteh's mind becomes empty, because there is no more activity in the brain than to hope that the life of former Tatah is destroyed,” I told him as a summary of the suffering he experienced.

“Then?”

“At that time, there was a genie who liked Teteh. Then, he took advantage of the carelessness and emptiness of the soul of Teteh so that he could dwell in Teteh.”

Yuli Tea looked frightened. I didn't mean to scare her at all.

“Serious, Yes?”

“What at night at certain times Teteh ever feel the body Teteh really heavy? Or often suddenly thirsty in the middle of the night, but after drinking even a glass of thirst it does not disappear?”

“Betul.” He breathed quite deeply. “Are you a smart person? Please, please help me. Heal me. I'm sincere about what happened. Now I just want to live my life normally,” beg him by holding my hand so tightly.

Smart guy? Nope. I'm just an ordinary person. In fact, I feel every word that comes out just flows from the mouth.

“Teh, I'm not the person that Teteh thinks I am. Only God and the self of Teteh can make Teteh out of this condition.”

“What should I do? I beg you, Yes!” groaning welcomes.

“First, move residence or boarding. The place was not good for Teteh.”

“I've tried several times.”

“Teteh go home first, follow the parents' advice to ruqyah. Stay there longer. Enjoy being with family.”

I know, it's not easy to do everything I suggest. But, in fact, people with the condition of Yuli Tea need more friends who want to listen to them without interruption and justification. Being able to tell stories and let out tears could already give them strength.

We must help encourage them to rise from the conditions they face. But not with the words “Sangat”, “You can definitely”, or also sentences of suppositions and comparisons like “You should be grateful”, “Try seeing out there there are still many more suffering than kamu”, it just makes them feel judged.

“Yes, thank you so much for listening to me. I feel calmer now. In that case, I'd like to pack up and go home today.”

“Sama-sama. Be careful on the road yes, Teh.”

He began to develop a smile that had not been implied from his lips before. “I can ask for your number? Just this time I feel relieved to be able to tell someone.”

“Sure.”

We also exchanged mobile numbers. Then, I drove Teh Yuli down the stairs.

But just as I was walking beside the bathroom, my steps were fixed. I was shocked again by the sound of a slammed door. This time his voice almost broke my eardrum. I also tried to calm myself by stroking my chest.

Yuli Tea stopped her steps, and turned around the body. “What's up, Yes?”

He didn't seem surprised at all. Am I the only one hearing it again? Is that how they are even during the day?

“Nothing, Tea. Let me take you to the hostel Teteh.”

“Thank you very much yes, Yes!” said polite.