CHARCOAL-BLACK LOVE
the sun in the dark

This splashing sound of water that always accompanies my days, I do not know what day and what date. Everything feels the same this darkness keeps me on my own, sitting on the edge of this river, better for me away from the ridicule of people.

My name is Qia 23 years old orphaned long hair, white, 160 words tall my man is very beautiful .

My mother died at the age of 12 years and my father after four years later, I was born normal but at the age of eight years experienced pain that never healed and resulted in loss of my vision. I would love to see but what power now I live as if in my reot hut there is no miracle.

"QIA.....Qia.......Qia."

The voice was familiar Grandma was my neighbor a very nice person, every day she delivered food and took care of all my needs. After my father and mother died, he was the one who took care of me.

" yes what's wrong?'' my answer.

"Have you eaten? Grandma bring food for you, come home it's getting dark."

I also stood up and rushed home my hands were led by Grandma to the house, the distance from the river to the house was about 20 meters, and the distance from the river to the house, Every day I always go to the river to take a bath and wash my clothes sometimes even to drink because the distance of the well is quite far from my house.

I'm used to walking alone without a cane or the help of others, this situation forces me to be independent .

This house is a relic of my only parents, a stilt house with five steps.

krukkk...

I unwrap the rice in my hand, finished eating I sat on the stairs feeling the cold of the night breeze.

In the silence of this night of longing there is always, mother father if you were there surely the world could I enjoy. Those childhood memories that accompany me, every night I dream and hope when I wake up I can see this world, and it's in the laps of my father and mother. I was so lonely if anyone would listen to my complaints without criticizing a word, my life would be more colorful in this darkness.

Even if only a glance I did not dare to dream about my future, everything would be like this until the end of the pick up.

ohhh I really want that death to immediately memnghampiri, without asking the slightest I had already classified it.

I go through my nights every day like this until I fall asleep.

...****************...

"TOK TOK"

I woke up hearing a noise and knocking on the door and my grandmother was delivering my food.

"Qia, you're not awake yet? it's 06.00 wib in the morning" he said.

"Just woke up Nek last night couldn't sleep."

"Sit down for a minute Grandma wants to ask me where you know you're interested" patting the floor.

"What's wrong, Grandma? is Qia doing something wrong?"

"No! Qia last night there was a young man who was looking for a future wife from his behavior he was a good man. What say?''

"ohw!" I said without saying anything.

"If he likes you will you be happy?'' Ask Grandma back.

"I don't deserve Grandma! he better find another girl.''

"You don't get discouraged from believing that there will be a time, Qia Grandma is old there is no way I can take care of you forever, then who will take care of you?'' Those words make my heart hurt.

"Already Grandma! I don't want to expect anything in this life..." I'm speechless.

"What if he accepts you?''

Grandma went straight home maybe she was very upset to hear my answer.

Step by step I walked while thinking, could anyone be willing to take my life? if not how and who will take care of me?

And if he's a perfect man, what does he see of me? question after question came to my mind.

Sitting beside the river with the swift water seemed to represent a sense of worry in my heart and mind. Inside the heart says it but the opposite mind refuses and does not want to be at peace with the heart.

Grandma's words made me unable to think about anything else, I tried to keep her away but the more I tried to get attached to my mind.

"To Qia! ka..ka.." she is a granddaughter named jannah aged 10 years.

"What's jannah?'' my answer.

"Ka, Grandma called you home, that handsome uncle is coming again" he said in a mocking tone.

"Ahhhh! you can just...''Mumbles.

We walked slowly while holding my hand, he continued to tell me his heart, he was so happy that if I had never grown up maybe I would also be like a Happy Jannah without the slightest burden, and my parents are by my side.

"Our grandmother is coming, where's that handsome uncle?'' Said giggling.

"He's gone, he's in such a hurry, so Qia's sitting here" Grandma called.

Jannah went to play and left me with Grandma .

"Qia Grandma told him about your life, she doesn't matter what your flaws are she wants to meet soon."

"Hmmmmmmm.."I just fell silent without a word.

"The man was very nice, Handsome, mature brown skin, short hair, 165cm tall and he was very polite." Say Grandma.

"He's so perfect Nek thinks about it I'm scared" I said.

''Perhaps he is the one who will make you happy and take care of you after my death, you must not be stubborn to listen to my words.''

''I'll consider it first, I really don't want to be someone else's burden.''

''Then can you take care of yourself after I die? what are you going to do?''

I went away with mixed feelings my tears kept flowing I hated myself so much.

What is my fault that this world punishes me, a blind woman like me can only hope for the mercy of others.

Arriving at home, Grandma's words continued to fill my mind, I was very worried about what I should do.

If I accept how will I take care of my household, but klo I refuse will be a lifetime burden for Grandma and after that what will happen?

I closed my eyes with tears soaking my pillow, wishing it was all a dream.

Qia you are a strong woman, some years you can face problems now you can.

I'm like a madman who gives strength to himself, otherwise people will just make this pain go deeper.

Seriate.......