Fallen Dreams
Unexpected

"I ... pregnant?"

Whahuh? I didn't hear wrong, did I? Getting pregnant? How can I get pregnant?! I'm pretty sure that I've never done anything illegal with anyone but

Oh.

God fucking.

Couldn't be because of that time? That time somehow, made him trapped in a room with dim lighting. He remembered very well, how his body seemed difficult to move in the cursed room.

Plus a fact that his lower body was exposed, became a disgusting sight for him the first time he woke up. Both hands were tied back. While both of his legs were wide open. Whoever did this to her must have sedated her until she was unconscious for so long.

Ugh. Just imagining it makes him nauseous.

"Hey, hey .. relax. Aunt is not angry. Aunty just wanted to ask you about this because auntie remembered, you are a good boy. You must have a reason behind all this." Obviously the soft aunt. Natya had felt the woman's delicate fingers touch the tip of her head covered with a veil.

Oh God. Mitha was very lucky. Already living with wealth, having a supportive and understanding mother and father like him, his humble nature makes him have many friends. It is a life that can make anyone jealous.

It was a pity that his time in the world was so short, that he could not enjoy his beautiful life for so long.

"I didn't do it Auntie. But .. a-I, I was raped by someone. I remember before I left that place, I saw her face look like Dafa, our classmate." Evidently.

Knowing the woman did not say a word, Natya continued to explain.

"A-I'm not sure if she's the same person because back then the lighting was pretty bad. It could be that he's a different person."

Without Natya noticing a drop of water falling from her eye. Argha! Is this what we call the influence of hormones? Because of something that was in his womb, he easily became emotional like this.

If only Mitha was still alive at this time and saw her condition so embarrassing, surely the girl would have laughed and said that it was not like her Natya. Natya that should be a real tough woman! He would not cry easily even though the burden he experienced was many times worse than what Mitha had experienced.

'Mitha fuck! Why do I have to go first anyway?!' His mind which at that time had begun to be as unwilling as a child.

"*hiks*I've been trying to keep him from touching my body! Before he did that, I was arrested. I rebelled so I could escape his entanglement. B-but .. the sleeping pills he injected into my body really make me not able to do anything and-"

*grep!*

Instantly Natya felt her body being pulled into the arms of the sedri aunt who was looking at her pity. Natya is sure, she must be remembered with Mitha because the case that Natya experienced was also similar to what her daughter experienced. Natya who felt it was crying all the more so.

"*hiks* Why didn't you tell Auntie, son? Although your mother might not listen, but there's an aunt." He said while rubbing Natya's back with a direction like a circle pattern.

Natya was still crying. He even believes that the clothes of the Aunt must have been wet because of the tears of both of them.

Turns right. God easily gave her bad news. Isn't that right, the guess? Oh don't be surprised. Natya has memorized the patterns of events in her life. And it's always been like this. It was as if his life was just a cycle of when he became a winner and when he got a defeat.

And what she was most afraid of was, what if her mother found out about this pregnancy? If that really happened, he was very sure that it would be a trial after that. The most severe and the most traumatizing trial Natya could have.

If this is said to be the plot of a story, it may be that****** of his life that he will not be able to deal with. Even he himself is not sure about the solution of the ****** that. Between will end up being a bad ending for him, or there will be no solution.

Haha. His life can even be compared to a storyline. Bizarre, right? Even if asked now, he seems very sure that his life is just a fiction. Very amusing.

Natya then leads her right hand to touch her own stomach.

Bizarrely. He only realized that his stomach was currently a bit hardened.

It seemed impossible if he was told to imagine that there was a small creature living in there. Moreover, he was never thought of and wanted to have children in the future because of poor treatment from his mother.

Natya does not want if in the future she will be like her mother. She has even learned a little bit about Parenting and she is sure she will be a good mother. But he was afraid that one day he could not control himself and even hurt his son. Like what her mother did to her every day.

'How would my mother react if she found out about this? I could die!' Inner fear.

"God is not fair, right? (God is not fair, right?)" His words immediately made Aunt Fitra look at him in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" Aunty Fitra asked in a surprised tone.

"People always say that if we are entrusted by God a trial that is so severe that it almost makes us lose our minds, it means that God loves us and knows that we are able to accept it. Isn't that wrong, is it?"

"... Natya-"

"Look, Auntie. The trials I've been through like this. And the trials that others have, too. On the other hand, I live side by side with people whose lives are good. It's like there's no burden and fun. Like Mitha for example."

"Nat-"

"Then we are also side by side with people who with his presence alone can only harm, distress, and hurt others. Like my mother for example."

"God deliberately created people like us, people like Mitha, and people like my mother, side by side in this world. Isn't that his fault?"

"Astaghfirullah Natya!! You-"

"What do the people of God mean to love His servant when he puts more trouble on them, Auntie? Wouldn't it be logical to think about it, it doesn't make sense? God hates the damage done by people like my mother. But it is precisely by making us all side by side, isn't that what would increase the population of the wicked as well? What does God really do?"

"Natya, enough!!"

"Aunty must know that the bad guy was born from a good guy who was hurt? Which in the end will also take away the happiness of others also reduce the population of good people? In this case it's like Mitha for example."

"N-Natya-"

"Well, if that's the case, why do some people still think that God is fair and dear to us when we experience this kind of ordeal? Our trials will be caused by bad people like my mother and others! Which inexplicably God deliberately allowed them to live with us and roam out there looking for their next prey."

"NATYA!!"

"I ALMOST LOST MY SANITY AUNTY!! BUT WHY DO PEOPLE SEEM NOT TO WANT TO KNOW AND TELL ME TO BE MORE PATIENT BECAUSE IT IS A FORM OF GOD'S LOVE?! IF I CAN'T WAIT, THEN I DON'T CONSIDER GOD DEAR?!"

"Can't God give me or us love in such a normal way? Like people in general who give gifts, compassion, or what?! If you love, why do I still continue to be given this trial?! It was even harder after I found out Mitha died and knew I was pregnant not because of the rape!"

"*Hiks*Don't know after this if you know about my pregnancy. Perhaps the reaction of the mother, which I believe will be bad, will be the same pattern of****** as before. The difference now, I'm sure I won't be strong against it."

"...Natya."

"I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. Tired, tired, tired, really. I try my best to avoid mistakes and bad things that might happen. But I still have bad things I don't want. I'm gonna die. What's the point of living if at the end of my struggle, it's going to go on?"

The 38-year-old was silent for a long time. Either because he wanted to let Natya to continue the outpouring of his heart or indeed he was confused to start responding from where, he said, because there are so many words Natya who must be straightened out as soon as possible before Natya takes the wrong conclusion.

Just now he wanted to reply to Natya's words, his phone rang. As a result, he had to stop his intention to talk again and busy himself to find the cellphone he put in his bag.

After getting the phone, he picked up the call and spoke to whoever was on the other side. But if Natya hears from her conversation with this man, it seems she is talking to her husband, or the father of Mitha, Mr. Ridwan.

"Eh? Iyakah?!" His fleeting question showed his surprise.

Are they talking about the perpetrator of the rape? Seems like. From his annoyed face and stiffened body, it was already the obvious answer to the questions that had popped up in Natya's brain.

After so long talking, the device he put back in its place.

"What's Auntie doing?" Ask.

"Said the culprit was arrested. It turns out that what you assumed was indeed Natya's right. The culprit is your classmate. Dafa."