First Love
Chapters. 21

"Pak Gilang" I said while looking at the motorcycle Pak Gilang passing away.

Why is my heart as sad as this seeing the face of Mr. Gilang who was disappointed because of my behavior.

"Kirei." call Yudha softly.

"Hem"

"You said something?"

"No... Nothing." I replied evasively.

I took a deep breath and tried to get back to my thoughts and Yudha's.

"Where are we really going, Yudha?" I'm diverting attention.

"Just take a walk. Going to the downtown park?"

"It's up to you" I said, giving in.

Before long Yudha parked her motorbike in the park park downtown. I saw the motor that was in line with Yudha's current motor.

Motor sport blue les grey, this is the motorbike Pak Gilang.

I threw away my eyes to look for the figure of this motorcycle rider. But as far as my eyes could see, I could not find the figure I was looking for.

"Kirei." said Yudha softly.

"Hem."

"Let's go, why daydream?"

I nodded and smiled. What's the matter with me?

Why after seeing Mr Gilang earlier my mind continues to branch?

I was very happy with Yudha.

Why after seeing the face of Mr Gilang my mood changed this way?

I'm afraid that Gilang misunderstood my relationship with Yudha.

Wait up? why do I keep thinking about my relationship with Mr Gilang?

Come on, Terry, there's no connection between you and Mr. Gilang. Nothing happened between me and Mr. Gilang, but why am I being so cranky?

I took my breath, and I looked at the face of Yudha who was currently walking side by side with me, Terry, why do I keep thinking about her?

Back I let my breath feel as little as a sip in the chest. I should have gone back to this man I was with.

I put my ass on a bench arranged by the pond of the fountain in the middle of the garden. I listened to Yudha's story and some of her experiences dealing with the customer at the printing house where she worked.

"Keep, if you work. When are you going to college and study, Yud?" ask me while smiling.

My attention was turned to the newly arrived gathering of men and sitting on the grass under the trees. One of those men was Gilang.

Back my eyes were fixated on the sweet figure who was joking with his peers. I don't know, but I see Mr. Gilang's face doesn't really smile.

For a moment our eyes intertwined when Pak Gilang threw his gaze at me. Mr. Gilang smiled at me, then lowered his gaze slowly.

I threw my eyes away at Yudha who was still engrossed in telling stories. I don't know what he told me from earlier, I didn't listen to anything at all.

My thoughts and attention were turned to the sweet man who was sitting on guaru's tent there.

"Kirei." call Yudha while grabbing my finger that rests above my thighs.

"What's up, Yudha?"

"From now on you're just daydreaming. You're not happy with me?"

"That's not Yudha, I'm just your mind" I replied lying.

"Why Mother?"

"It's okay. I'm just a little confused by Mother's story last night."

I singungging a sweet smile on my lips, my gaze returned to the current Mr. Gilang who got up and walked away from the gathering of his friends.

"I, find the toilet first Yudha" I said as I walked in Gilang's footsteps.

A little running I chased after the steps of Mr. Gilang who moved away from where we were sitting. When I saw Mr. Gilang walking to the motor park, I pulled his wrist.

"Sir." I pulled Gilang's wrist.

"Yes." replied Gilang while turning his body looking at me.

"What's up, Terry?" ask Mr. Gilang decide my sentence.

"I want to be clear about the problem, sir" I said as I hooked my fingers in front of my chest.

"Clearly about what, Terry?"

"On the problem at the red light, sir. Actually I..."

"Why should you be clear? what is my relationship with you?" replied Mr. Gilang decided my sentence.

"What?" I said a little surprised.

"I am only your lecturer, I have no right to interfere in your personal affairs" replied Mr. Gilang sad.

I felt something that made my heart throb with pain when I heard Mr. Gilang's affirmation about our relationship.

Yes, who am I in Gilang's eyes? I'm just a student, why am I getting carried away by her.

You stupid Terry, why do you expect that a lecturer like Mr Gilang put his heart on a closed and cold girl like you?

"Yes, I'm sorry, sir. I think our relationship is more than just a student and a lecturer. Because of what our parents said, I was so afraid to disappoint your feelings." I turned around and I squeezed the end of my shirt.

Oh my God, why is my heart so painful. What feeling of tightness is this? why this tightness makes my breath sting. I even had trouble breathing oxygen.

I set foot to get away from the park.

"Terry, I don't mean that" said Mr. Gilang who was no longer able to stop my steps.

I am ashamed, I misunderstood the treatment of Mr. Gilang and his family against me all this time.

Why when hearing Mr. Gilang's statement makes my heart hurt so much. Mr. Gilang is not wrong, I misinterpreted the attention and all the attitudes of Mr. Gilang so far.

I wiped the tears that were rushing down my cheeks. I hurried to the toilet and washed my face with water.

Wh why? why is Mr Gilang able to make my tears break like this?

Why do I feel the wound again?

I was wrong, but why is this feeling so torturous in my mind.

Why is this wound so much more painful than the wound created by Yudha.

I washed my face with water and covered my face with thin powder.

I covered my eyes that were a little swollen from crying earlier.

I trim my hair and makeup.

I walked back to Yudha's side, I saw Mr. Gilang back at the gathering of his friends earlier. I lowered my gaze as I passed in front of Mr. Gilang.

I'm embarrassed enough, don't want to be more embarrassed. I smiled as I sat next to Yudha.

"Kirei, are you sick? your eyes are so red?" yudha said as she grabbed one of my cheeks.

"No, it was time to wash your face. A splash of water came into my eyes. So red like this." I said lie.

Yudha climbed up next to her eyebrows, distrusting by my words.

"You lied to me, you're crying, right?"

"Sir Yudha. I'm fine." I said back in tears.

I don't know, but this time I really got out of control. I can't believe that much influence Mr. Gilang has in me. Because after Yudha, Mr. Gilang is able to make me feel comfortable.

I held my hand to cover my lips. Tears continued to flow because of the tightness that continued to clog my breathing.

"Kirei, what's wrong? why are you crying?"

"I don't know, Yudha. But my heart hurts so much." I said while stunned.

Yudha pulled my head and dropped it on her chest. I let go of my cry just to release the weight of a heart that felt so heavy.

Before long I broke Yudha's embrace, got up and ran away, I covered my face and ran further away.

"Terry.." I heard voices from two different people calling me.

I tightened my steps when I heard footsteps chasing me.

I stopped a taxi passing by and opened the door. But a hand quickly closed the taxi door. He pulled my head and dropped it on the chest of the man's field.

When my tears broke again, why did this never seem fair to me?